Day of Promises

Holy shamoley, it's the last day of January and I'm more motivated to share my prayers with all of you than when I began this journey 31 days ago. I made a promise to myself about this blog in order to pray daily. If you say you are genuinely committed to improving your prayer life, then do it. So, here we are...you, me, and God. I can't think of anything better!!

Promises, promises, and more promises. How many times have you heard:

"I promise to be faithful," only to learn so many marriages end due to infidelity. 

"I promise to be healthy," only to learn excessive obesity has become a serious health risk.

"I promise to love you," only to learn irreconcilable differences has become a household name.

Despite honorable intentions (I hope), we have taken the word promise and diminished it to something meaningless. So many people have been victims to empty promises that the very word makes them cringe. Yet, God made 3,000 promises in the Bible. If God takes promises seriously, shouldn't we value them as well? 

Day 31: Heavenly Father, thank you for keeping your promises to show your very flawed people mercy and grace. We are so fortunate to be your children. I know through your demonstration, delivering on promises fosters faith in people. I pray you will use me as a conduit in relaying your promises to those who have gone unfulfilled for so long. 

God, you have assured us our faith and commitment to an open relationship with you would reap great riches, both presently and eternally. Thank you for all I have received and will receive. Please reveal to the lost you have been with them forever and have fulfilled promises in their lives for which they are blinded to your role.

Lord, please strengthen my resolve to avoid making empty promises. When I cannot deliver on my commitments, I feel ashamed and unworthy of forgiveness. However, my fear and hesitancy to make promises limits the potential impact I could have in someone's life. Lord, please help me to worry less on the "how" and more on the "what!"

Thank you for this medium to speak with you candidly each day. Thank you for the faith promise opportunity to focus on the "what" instead of the "how." I trust you, Father, and promise to remain your faithful child!

I love you.

Photo: http://www.courageouschristianfather.com/2013/05/14/the-rainbow-a-covenant-from-god/

Day of Faith

As I was considering my prayerful time for today, I felt drawn to something, but I couldn't quite pinpoint it. When my wonderfully, faithful daughter shared this scripture with me, my eyes opened:

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

After saying, "duh, Jasmine, a little obvious," I was surprised this wasn't going to be a circle prayer around faith. I've mentioned faith in other prayers, but have never dedicated a prayer specifically to it. I'm shocked by this since faith is the foundation of a belief in God. He doesn't physically show up at your door saying, "hey, I'm God, follow me" (boy, wouldn't that be easier sometimes). He's not George Burns, smoking a cigar, playing games with the weather.

He's invisible, but I see Him every day. He's intangible, but I feel His comforting hands on my weary shoulders. He's silent, but I can hear Him loud and clear. In order to believe in something without "proof," we have to take a leap out of our comfort zone and wait to see things change. How do I know God exists, He's always present, and He loves me even in my most shameful moments?? Things change.

I have a friend who is experiencing God moments in ways he never has before. Like many of us, lifting to God and letting go seems impossible. I shared with him sometimes when I have felt nothing was going right and I was overwhelmed, the greatest gift for myself was handing it over to God. He tried this recently, probably with a hint of skepticism and hesitancy (you know, we've all been cautiously optimistic). But, the next day, incredible things happened. Those same issues burdening his spirit and weighing him down were lifted. He received encouraging words from a reliable resource telling him not to fret. God used this moment as a pivotal point in my friend's faith to say, "don't worry son, I've got this!" When we have faith in something outside ourselves, things change. 

Day 30: Heavenly Father, thank you for your love, your presence, and your role in my life. Omgoodness, I cannot imagine how lost I would be without my faith in you. I fear I would feel empty! You are the only antidepressant I need!!

Lord in Heaven, how do I teach faith? How do I convince someone so consumed with burdens you are real and you are listening? It pains me to know people continue living in the doldrums of life without you. Will my testimony, your Word, and my living be enough "evidence" the lost need to turn to you? Help me, Father! I plead for your wisdom to say the right thing at the right time for the ready person and draw him into a fulfilling life knowing you are by his side.

Father God, it's so easy to rationalize your miracles. We use science to "disprove" your existence. We convince ourselves all of creation was just chance. Why? Why do we try to explain you away? What is the harm in believing in you? Hypothetically, God, even if this prayer right now is just falling through the realm of ones and zeros, it's still positive. Just knowing you might exist is enough for me to want to please you. What do I have to lose? Lord, a relationship with you is a gain even if it all ends up just being imagined because I felt love, support, clarity, protection...and things changed.

I love you.

Day of Exhaustion

It's funny how our minds keep going, despite our bodies pleading for rest. Knowing I had to wake up earlier than normal to taxi my eldest to a Cru meeting this morning, I planned to get to bed relatively early last night. Unbeknownst to me, my mind had different plans. I tossed and turned virtually all night, logging about two hours sleep. Yawn!!

I tried to pinpoint the issue. I have some meds a little out of whack, but I don't think that's the cause of this exhaustion (I'm talking, shaking, freezing, and nausea because my body needs more rest). The little one slept with me and when she starts to fidget, I sometimes awaken to make sure she doesn't have an accident. But, I usually fall back to sleep quickly and feel well rested the next day. Then, it dawned on me. My emotions were on overload! In the course of 24 hours, I had experienced a myriad of emotions: sadness, anger, hurt, loss, clarity, comfort, support, happiness, connection. I think sometimes I overlook giving my spirit rest. 

Day 29: Heavenly Father, thank you for reminding me to rest my spirit. In the course of a day, it seems I don't realize how many moments affect my emotions. Please help me know when to say, "I need rest," before I get to the point of utter exhaustion. Thank you for watching over to me today when I clearly wasn't looking out for myself.

Lord, so often it seems people are pulled to extremes with their emotions. Please draw my loved ones closer to you when they are lost, burdened, overwhelmed, exhausted. Despite my confusion to the cause of my exhaustion at the start of the day, I am thankful for my trust in you to open my eyes to the cause and work to make changes in the future.

Father God, I am thankful for all the emotions you provide. Even when I may not understand my reaction sometimes (like why I cry when I'm happy, sad, comforted, etc), I have such gratitude for getting to experience them. I can't imagine how empty my life would feel if I remained detached from life and all its experiences, good and bad.

Sometimes, God, I forget to connect the dots. As I'm sitting here praying to you, I'm reminded you knew all along we'd experience spiritual exhaustion, which explains why the Sabbath is so vital. (As I say to myself when I miss the obvious, no duh!!) 

I love you.

Day of Reality

I took a college class which examined what characteristics children develop when growing up around addiction. As difficult as some of the information was to accept, one lesson has stayed with me for years. I am a placater. I don't like conflict. If there is a way I can avoid it, I will; even at the detriment of myself in some instances. I could easily say it makes sense, kids develop protective mechanisms to survive. But, as I get older, I continue learning these childhood shields can actually be a crutch and hold us back.

Since the loss of my brother, I have been trying to work on being real with certain topics. Isn't it painful? Absolutely! Does it scare you? You betcha! Does it help? Without a doubt! You see, if I just run behind my cloak of protection and hide from the realities, how does my retreat help anyone? Sometimes, situations call for a loving, yet frank conversation. It is in these real moments, when I believe we trust God to speak through us, no matter how foreign and painful it may be. If we trust in Him, He will lead the way.

Day 28: Heavenly Father, thank you for standing with me when I step out of my comfort zone. It is so scary! I just want to do what I have always done, but maybe that's why repetitive situations occur. Please steady my feet, Lord, when I want to retreat behind my protective placater cloak.

Father God, I trust you. I know you are with me. I know you will protect me. But, why is it so hard to accept when the hurricane of emotion starts to swell? Shouldn't I immediately turn to you for help? Shouldn't I fall to my knees screaming your name? I feel so ashamed when I don't. I say our relationship is the center of my life, yet when I need to be real, somehow I lose sight of you. Please forgive me.

Lord, today was a difficult day. But, I thank you for it. I thank you for giving me the right words, sharing my real fears, and showing my actual emotion. I am confident being real shows a greater love for others than slinky away out of fear. I pray my friends and family can share loving, supportive, yet real views of situations. If we are true to ourselves, I pray we demonstrate how much we desire to be true to you.

I love you.

This is me and my little brother, Morgan Christopher Sefranka. I miss you, buddy!

Day of Confession

Are there things in your past you'd rather just forget? Do you have embarrassing or shameful moments you regret and wish you could hide them from others? If you don't, I envy you and would love to know your secret. I can promise you having to share not only am I divorced, but also I am 2x divorced, that's embarrassing. Without explanation, this fact might suggest I have issues (I have plenty, but don't think in this area...smiles). Do you know anyone who faced a legal situation and without knowing the details you assumed she was in the wrong? What if her husband died, leaving her to raise three kids on a high school education and sometimes she stole food to feed her children? I'm not saying breaking the law is justified, but having context of a situation provides better insight.

I was dating someone briefly who felt it necessary to hide his criminal background. Regardless of his embarrassment, was I entitled to know the information from the beginning and make an informed decision of whether or not it bothered me? I think so. Without being truthful and hiding our embarrassments, we place people at a disadvantage. In order to function in trusting relationships, it's imperative to confess ourselves and just let the chips fall where they may. You never know, some people might find your openness admirable!

Day 27: Heavenly Father, thank you for desiring my confessions in order to forgive me and not to damn me. I want to treat others the way I treat you, in open and honest dialogue. Lord, you show me time and again when I share my embarrassments with you, you wrap your arms around me and say I love you anyway. Wow! I'm willing to be vulnerable with others with this type of honesty if it means gaining an open and honest relationship.

Lord, I think most people know keeping secrets weighs on the soul. Why do we do it? Why do we hide, trick, and manipulate when experience has proven most often these actions only cause more pain than the actual "thing" being disguised? I pray I can be approachable, an open book, and not let pride get in the way of being honest and real. Anyone who interacts with me should expect nothing less and despite the good, bad, and ugly, I'll accept the consequences.

Father, your numerous parables using broken people to show your love and compassion provides the evidence we think we need to be inclined to confess. Perhaps, we find it easier to do that in the privacy of our own conversations with you. But, God, I want to be your disciple. I want to live Christ like. In order to fulfill these desires, I must be open and real in all my interactions. Thank you for believing in me when I may not have confidence in myself.

I love you.

Photo: http://jesusplus.org/other-posts/love-each-other

Day of Perspective

Do you ever get so consumed with yourself, your problems, or your pride, that you lose perspective of what is truly important? I do. I have moments when I get frustrated with teenager stuff and fail to remember the very few times I ever have to correct this behavior. I have moments when I worry about how I'll pay for an emergency when there are people who worry about the source of their next meal. There are times when I've been enraged when children have been used as pawns in divorce when I could use this energy to maintain respectful dialogue with my girls' fathers. There are countless examples of when I've lost perspective in life and likely will have many more.

I try to be honest with myself and examine (sometimes in hindsight) if I am being reactionary and not seeing the big picture. I'm certainly not perfect and falter time and again, but hope with each introspection, I am able to broaden my view to one far above my vantage point. There is such peace and clarity when we can think beyond us.

Day 26: Heavenly Father, thank you for having a plan. I'm surprised I feel this way, but thank you for not sharing your plan and just asking me to trust you. Lord, I fear if I knew what the end game was for my life here on earth, I would try to manipulate and change the result if I wasn't interested. Is this why you don't share with us your path? We are so weak to man's pride, greed, and manipulation. Is this why you ask us to trust you because you know we really can't trust ourselves?

Father, please forgive me when I fail to look beyond myself. I feel so unworthy of your grace, Lord, when I can't keep your almighty plan at the center of my existence. Thank you for your gentle reminders nudging me back on your path. What a winding road we force ourselves to followl!! 

Father God, thank you for using Pastor Scott to deliver your messages. What a humble servant! Thank you for calling him to explore your Word and analyze the "ok, now what?" His messages today stuck with me so profoundly! Not only did you send your Son to die to save us from our sins, but also He rose to prove (give tangible evidence) He was who He claimed to be and all this for your purpose to use us for your works. Wow! Lord, I needed the "now that I'm a Christian, what do I do now" lesson! Thank you for providing perspective and keeping me grounded. Please open my ears to hear you, open my eyes to see you, and open my heart to live you!

I love you.

Day of Confidence

Okay, I will be the first to admit, I struggle some with compliments. My issue lies with wanting to remain humble. But, what about all the lovely people I know? Do they not see what I see? There are some who are beyond gorgeous, yet surprised when I say so. There are some who are gifted with relaying information, yet sometimes question their purpose. There are some who have questioned their "friend"ness, but I find to be wonderful, loving friends. I wish I could convince them how much I treasure them and our relationships.

Day 25 - Heavenly Father, thank you for creating me, loving me, and guiding me. I know it is through your guidance and love that I feel drawn to lifting up those who feel disheartened. I think we all want to feel confident about ourselves, but maybe have concerns about where the line is drawn between confidence and arrogance. Ultimately, Lord, it is through you all these gifts have been given. If we credit the right source, is that the appropriate line?

Father, I ask for your uplifting Spirit to fall upon my loved ones who feel unloved or undervalued. Please fill them with a confidence to know they are beautiful in your eyes, loved always by you, and can survive anything in this life with you at the helm.

Lord, thank you for your confidence in me to be your disciple. May I be able to help lead people to Christ with an honest, open communication about your work in my life. Please open my loved ones' eyes so they may see all that I see in them...it's quite a breathtaking view!

I love you.

Day of Zip It

How often have you spoken out of turn? Been there! What about speaking before thinking? Raising my hand! Have you ever lashed out in anger before knowing all the facts? Guilty!

What I've learned in all these situations is despite what might feel temporarily satisfying, the long-term effects can be harmful. For example, when I was in kindergarten (no really, keep reading!), Miss Kelly yelled for a classmate to get in line. I chimed in, "maybe he doesn't know where we're going." The teacher scoffed replying, "of course he knows where we're going" (with maybe a hint of duh to my sensitive ears). Clearly, the memory of me speaking out of turn has had quite an impact.

Sometimes, as parents we may say things to our children out of sheer frustration which we quickly regret. I don't think we intend to display anything but love and care for our children, but sometimes even a parent's patience can wear thin.

Anger is a crazy emotion! It seems it jumbles our thought processes, widens the synapses, and before you know it, we're shouting before we've actually received all the facts.

Have you ever directed these hasty comments toward God? It's embarrassing to admit, but I have. In moments of utter loss and despair, I have found myself playing the blame game with God. The funny thing is, He takes it (a far cry from any human interaction I've had when words fly before my brain can stop them)! Talk about turning the other cheek! We can be downright awful toward Him and He still loves us. Wow!

Day 24: Heavenly Father, thank you for your unconditional love when I forget to zip it. I am so sorry for any pain my words or distance have caused you. Thank you for pulling me back in and loving me any way. I need those hit me between the eyes reminders to get out of your way because you got this!!

Lord, you know I have my good days and bad days with letting words fly. Sometimes, I can remain tight-lipped even when feeling under attack for trying to be protective and looking beyond an immediate circumstance, but other times I fail to walk away when venting about a situation with a coworker. Why? Please help me stop rationalizing a temporary vent session is fine and dandy when in reality it only causes me guilt. Can you make the guilt rear its ugly head sooner? 

Father, I ask you to forgive me for any harm I've done to others by being too quick tongued. I certainly believe in miracles, can you seal my lips before I cause harm to others? I pray that to you  physically and figuratively. Teach me, Jesus, through your many interactions with the Pharasees to be purposeful and measured in my response to situations which may feel antagonistic.

Lord, thank you for making me sensitive and in tune with my emotions. Please help me use these characteristics in ways to promote positive dialogue versus defensive posturing. But, I am a flawed human. Please forgive me.

Thank you for reminding me even when I may need to hold my tongue among humans, I can always talk to you. The comfort of knowing I'm not alone and always in conversation with you, Father God, helps me want to zip it and let you take control.

I love you.

Day of the Spirit

With yet another day of schools delayed and closed due to subzero temperatures and wind chills dropping in some areas to -35, I was expecting to read all the discontent about this weather (I am just as guilty as anyone else). But, I was not only proven wrong, but completely elated to read and view the countless images of the morning sky.

From what I understand, many witnessed a rainbow, a light arc, and a nearly blinding sunrise. In a previous prayer, I mentioned how in awe I am to God's painted canvases in the sky. Today, I continued feeling utter admiration for how the Holy Spirit touched so many people as they stepped away from the justified grumbles and recognized the beauty placed before them! Moments like these remind me of how God can touch anyone, believer or not, with His majesty!

Day 23: Heavenly Father, thank you for descending your Spirit on so many beautiful souls today. Even though I didn't gaze upon the actual canvas of this morning's sky, I did witness the miraculous painting on so many hearts! Thank you!

How incredibly uplifting to awaken to your people giving thanks for your morning sky! Lord, it gives me hope. I suppose you could have taken the snow away or warmed the air a bit, but had you responded to the obvious, would we have missed your true magnificence and presence today? I fear we may have. Father, thank you for giving us exactly what we needed. Today, Lord, we needed your Spirit enveloping us, reminding us of the beauty around us, and the spectacular joy found in life if we slow down and look around. Thank you for these tears of happiness I shed right now. You touch my heart, Dear Lord, and I can never stop thanking you!!

Father God, I pray the spark of the Spirit today was just the beginning. I pray for anyone "on the fence" about your existence may have seen the unforgettable sky this morning and has improved clarity to your role in their lives. I ask to be used in any capacity you see fit to share my testimony of your existence and the never ending love and joy to be experienced with a personal relationship with you. Thank you, God, for loving us just right!

I love you.

Photo: Gene Siglin, Henry County | Jan 23, 2014 

Day of Happiness

Disclaimer: this prayer uses the words happiness and joy interchangeably. However, to be accurate, happiness can be considered more of an external, temporary emotion resulting from events and experiences. Joy, on the other hand, is a more permanent emotion stemming from an internal, spiritual connection. Happiness has a momentary presence, joy is always present.

How often have you said, "I just want to be happy." Do you ever tell your children, "my only wish is for my children to be happy." We wish each other Happy Birthday, Happy Easter, Happy Christmas (ok, if you're British)...we desire happy, happy, happy.

With this common denominator among most people to live in happiness, what prevents them? I think we prevent ourselves from being happy. I don't think we intentionally do things to prevent our happiness, but I think we do choose to let stuff, things, life hold us back from experiencing true joy and contentment.

I have a dear friend who I know wakes up each day joyful. Does she have to work like most everyone else and face challenges in the workplace? Absolutely (she works for Walmart, what do you think)!! Has she lost any loved ones? Tragically, yes (four of them I also had a close connection; her nephew, her father, her mother, and her grandmother). Has she ever faced struggles? Of course, who hasn't? The point is, she's human just like the rest of us, but manages to make lemonade out of all the lemons thrown at her. The secret, my friends, is her ability to let the trials of her life be handled through God's comfort and wisdom.

Day 21: Heavenly Father, thank you for all the lessons you provide to help me embrace the joy you offer. Thank you for placing my amazing, happy friend, Emily, in my life and letting me witness the abundant cheerfulness to be had by giving to you the trials of the everyday human experience. 

Lord, please help me demonstrate to others the way Emily has witnessed to me. Please continue placing positive influences along the paths of my family and friends revealing to them the amazing merriment to be found in this life by not being consumed with life's stuff. Please allow me to connect with others in an empathetic way assuring them I may have experienced similar turmoils in my life, but have found the key to experiencing joy despite those dark moments.

Father God, I used to wish I lived the "Leave It To Beaver" childhood. But, I am thankful for all my experiences both good and bad because I may not have become the person I am today. Lord, please give me strength and clarity when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Please forgive me if I'm consumed with my own pity and forget I am not alone.

I ask for your comforting embrace for a friend who is exhausted from the hurt and sadness he's experienced. He's ready to "be happy", God; he just needs you to lead the way.

I love you.

Day of Fanatics

I recently heard someone allude to an open, vocal relationship with Jesus Christ as being fanatical. With such a negative connotation to the word fanatic, e.g. Jim Jones, I decided to investigate the definition a bit further.

(noun) a person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal, as in religion or politics

By definition, the word fanatic seems rather benign, doesn't it? 

How does the definition yield itself to pretty harsh synonyms such as bigot and extremist? Surprisingly, the words appearing most closely related to the definition of fanatic were the most positive: enthusiast and devotee.

Having pondered this for a while today, I'm convinced society attaches the negative connotation to the word fanatic out of fear or lack of understanding. I am thankful to be a Jesus enthusiast, a God devotee, and a Holy Spirit fanatic knowing uplifting His name and trying to be His disciple leads me to His kingdom in Heaven.

When people are very cautious about what they eat, they are viewed as being healthy; couldn't they also be considered fanatics because of their enthusiasm in choosing what to eat? When people exercise daily, they are viewed as dedicated; couldn't they be considered fanatics because of their devotion to an exercise regimen? Both seem pretty positive in my eyes. So, what's wrong with someone who chooses to pray daily, worship daily, or speak about her Father daily? Yup, I'm a fanatic and so thankful for where it will lead me.

Day 20: Heavenly Father, thank you for fostering an enthusiasm for you! Thank you for providing me the freedom to choose a devotion to your teaching. Thank you for the rewards of being a fanatic for you, lifting and praising your name.

Lord, I pray for anyone who fears a personal relationship with you. I know so often the lost feel a commitment with you places additional stress on their broken spirits. Please use me Jesus to share with others the freedom you've provided me by not carrying burdens, not struggling for purpose, and not living a life empty of spirit.

Christ in Heaven, I pray for clarity in my path to become your disciple and emulating your love and compassion. Lord, I am ashamed sometimes when I try to visualize myself in your shoes, among the homeless, the afflicted, the diseased. I don't believe today I would be able to interact with open arms and not act like a Pharisee. Teach me, please! Teach me humility and compassion. 

Father God, I am a fanatic for you! I am devoted to your guidance! I am enthusiastic to pray to your name! Thank you for giving me a life eternal through your Son.

I love you.

Day of Vulnerabilities

Have you ever felt vulnerable? I think we all have at some point in our lives. Maybe when we were really little and had an accident because we didn't make it to the potty in time. I've watched my little one feel vulnerable when she has soiled herself; she feared ridicule.

When my older daughter had to get braces, she was fearful and vulnerable to presumptions of attacks of having braces in high school. When I've met someone new, I certainly have felt vulnerable and ashamed for having been married and divorced twice. The point, we all have vulnerabilities and can either hide under our shells or accept who we are, what we've experienced, and how others might learn from our situations. 

Day 19: Heavenly Father, thank you for not making me perfect and helping me accept myself just as I am, warts and all. I pray I can use my imperfections to help lead others to accept themselves as your beautiful children despite all our scars.

Lord, thank you for blessing our congregation with pastoral staff who openly reveal their vulnerabilities to relay your messages. I ask you to provide comfort to them as they experience pain and sadness just like any of your children. I am thankful for my pastors and their willingness to display their emotions. Sometimes, Lord, I think we place your servants on pedestals far removed from experiencing life's challenges. I am thankful our church leaders remind me they are just as vulnerable as I am. 

Please bless all the students and volunteers attending youth retreats this weekend. May they experience long lasting connections with you as the weekends of fun end. I pray you watch over them on their journeys home and lift them up when they feel vulnerable sharing your good word.

I love you.

Day of Choices

I spent this day relaxing with my little one having a spontaneous Harry Potter marathon. Our plans today were supposed to include housecleaning; but, I made a choice cuddling was more important!

As I watched this awesomely creative series, I was reminded of all the choices people must make in life. Despite living in utter turmoil, Harry makes a choice to embark on a life completely foreign to him. He's tempted by fame and power, yet chooses to look within and embrace the good found inside him. Harry faces many obstacles trying to prevent his destiny, yet he battles through them all! He had to choose between the easy life by giving up or the never ending battles to save a world.

I know making the right decision can seem like the wrong one because it may be a harder road to follow. But, in the end, God blesses those who do what is right, despite the pain and suffering endured.

The beatitudes explain how to face all the struggles in this world and receive God's blessings in return:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you (Matthew 5:3-12 NIV)

Day 18: Heavenly Father, thank you for free will. Thank you for not controlling our lives, but rather letting us be drawn to you through your Spirit. If you controlled everything, what would be the point? Where would be the lessons? The connection? The relationship with you?

Father, I have made some good decisions and a lot of misguided ones in my life. Thank you for never giving up on me. Even when I fall astray from your plan, you always place a new path before me guiding me back to you. Thank you!

Father God, how do I convince others of your greatness? Of your unending love? Of your compassion? In a world filled with disappointment brought on by our own choices, please help me lovingly convince my friends, families, and strangers that only through you will they feel a tranquility far behind any temporary happiness.

Thank you for the pastors of our church. Please continue working through them to deliver your amazing messages. Help them comfort those in our congregation who may be burdened and overwhelmed. Provide them wisdom to advise and lift spirits of those facing hardships. In the end, Lord, it is up to us to listen to your messengers and be open to change which leads to positive results. Thank you!

I love you.

Day of Smiles

Awaking to more snow this morning and running late (as usual), could've quite easily warranted some "dang rots" and grumblings. But, instead, I started the day smiling and giggling while my little one packed her massive sandwich into her small lunch box (well, small compared to her massive sandwich).

Our need to rush out the door only to find  a snow covered truck should've received some "crap, crap, craps" from me; instead, we danced and sang the way to school and accepted the situation for what it was...a day of hiccups. 

Every couple of weeks, I try to surprise someone by paying for their Starbucks order. I figured the onslaught of snow yet again was the perfect day to help someone smile despite the weather. Funny thing, I don't know why the barista always asks me "are you sure, their total is this much...." I always smile and reply, "of course, just let me know if you need more money on my card!" How awesome to help brighten someone's day!

There was a rather uncomfortable meeting I attended today and my presence received many confused stares and questionings. I suppose I could've respectfully declined the invite due to the awkward circumstances, but I'm happy I didn't. I learned some things occurring on other teams for which our collaboration will help foster consistency in the company. A win win, in my humble opinion and certainly worth my smiles. (Okay, some of my smiles also may have been labeled smirks at the absurdness of some things, but it was entertaining!!)

I was fortunate to witness some mature, respectful decisions being made by people involved in a personal situation which sure warmed my heart and gave me God pimples (thank you Holy Spirit!!) Man, were there smiles!!

My girls' grades are amazing!! My eldest is embarking on a weekend filled to the brim with His Spirit, faith, and fellowship...how could I not be smiling knowing my daughter's relationship with God is flourishing! Then, to plan a relaxing, cuddling weekend with my little one as more snow "traps" us indoors with movies, hot chocolate, and Legos...this is the stuff worth smiles.

Wow, what a day!! We can be distracted easily by molehills that we make into mountains, but then we might miss all the chances to smile and enjoy the good stuff!

Day 17: Heavenly Father, thank you for all the little moments! Thank you for the goofing, the dancing, the coffee runs, the absurdities, the personal growth, the faith journey, the snow traps. Such awesome moments to remember to smile and be thankful even when there are hiccups.

Lord, when we're stuck and don't think anything is working in our favor, please help us take a pause and remember all the good stuff. We can certainly choose to view all the hiccups, roadblocks, and mess with negativity, or we can let you fill us up with little glimpses into moments for massive smiles. 

Father God, there are two wonderful groups of kids traveling this weekend for Christ-centered fellowship. Please flood them with smiles. Please reach deep within them and touch their hearts. Heal wounds, break down walls, invigorate spirits. Lord, please safely return these children to their families and friends and let them be your light in the world!! 

Thank you for embracing me, loving me, and fostering a flame within me for which I hope will never extinguish!

I love you!

Day of Despair

I have several friends right now who are facing struggles in their marriages or results of divorce. It breaks my heart not to be able to say those magical words to take all the anguish away. Having been in similar circumstances (sadly, two times), despite good intentions, the last thing I wanted to hear was "I've been there...it gets easier!"

When you're experiencing the pain first hand, not only do you not believe anyone's suffering was as painful as yours, but also there's this need to protect it. Rationally, it didn't make sense for me to want to hold onto the pain, but emotionally I felt if I released it somehow it justified the behavior of the other person or took his "punishment" away. Perhaps, it was this need within me to want the other person to witness the pain caused by his actions; consequently, wanting him to suffer right along with me. What a sad circle of emotions in which to find yourself!!

I spent a great deal of time trying to overcome these jaded burdens, but wasn't getting anywhere on my own. Wm. Paul Young's book Cross Roads captures these human burdens as "poisonous grounds of broken hearts." How true!! Once I realized I wasn't getting anywhere in my healing by holding onto the pain and hurt, that's when I heard God!! My friends and family will tell you I felt God beating me upside the head with messages of forgiveness. In one month, I heard countless sermons and songs about forgiveness. I read books and blogs and scripture about forgiveness. In these battles God was fighting on my behalf, I listened. When I'd try to rationalize why I didn't want to forgive, the benefits for me were revealed. God calls us to forgive for US. He's telling us don't be defined by the wrongs against you. Don't let those actions of someone else hold you down in crippling despair. Release yourself from the pain and suffering. When I drafted my letter of forgiveness, I could feel the weights literally lifted from my shoulders. What a true example of the Holy Spirit's presence!!

Fighting against the secular human response of pride, jadedness, and hurt doesn't go away (when my girls are away, they return with a vengeance). But, how I respond to these moments has changed. I'm not defined by the pains, but rather by the gift from God to let Him bear my burdens. Praise God!!

Day 16: Heavenly Father, thank you for lifting our burdens. Sometimes, It is so difficult to see you through the murky waters of despair, but you are with us! Father, I pray for my loved ones in their moments of anguish. Lord, I want to circle their homes, their persons, and their hearts with your strength to lift their sorrows, their pains, their anger, their depression, their pride, their barriers, and anything holding them back from hearing you loud and clear. 

Please Lord, work miracles in the marriages of those I love. I know these marriages can survive with you at the center. Remind them of the moments they fell in love, of the reasons they said I do, of the perfect love you've created in their hearts.

Please Lord, work miracles in the relationships of parents who have children to raise. So often, Jesus, I learn of disheartening situations in which parents use children against the other parent. Lord, don't let the children suffer at the hands of parents' decisions. Please work on the hearts of hurting parents who feel betrayed. Remind them why they became parents and chose the other to share in the creation of a new life together. All those with whom I ask for your presence at one time thought they would each be wonderful, loving mothers and fathers. Remind them, Lord. Please help them lift their brokenness to you and be the loving parents you envisioned.

Father God, have mercy on my friends for their mistakes. Have mercy on me for my mistakes. Thank you for your grace; we are not worthy, but so fortunate. Thank you for guiding us through the darkness of despair and leading us to a lightened load of positivity.

I love you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJxrX42WcjQ&sns=em

Day of Support

Part of this prayer circle blog may involve repeating prayers. Quite literally, praying circles around something may be needed to help find God's answer to something weighing us down. Being accepting of help/support is one of those areas which I need continuous prayers to work on my arrogance of somehow being the only one who can do it all.

Everyone needs support at some point in their lives. Some may not want to accept it; but in reality, they receive unsolicited support daily. Employees in the service industry fill our need for nourishment. Our daily mail delivery provides an avenue to promote communication. DJs play the tunes to lift our spirits and comfort our hearts. Ministers share God's messages through anecdotes connecting our daily lives to God's plans. There are countless examples of how others aid us without our acknowledgement.

Day 15: Heavenly Father, thank you for all the requested and volunteered help I received today and every day. You know my heart and know the difficulties I've had in my life asking for and accepting help from others. I'm sure part of it is pride. I have tried to be the foundation for others and am embarrassed when I "can't do it all." Father, thank you for the reminders today everyone needs help, even me. When we allow others to lend a hand, we allow them to show their love for us.

I pray, Lord, I am open and appreciative of support extended to me. What an amazing day!! Awakening to one of my favorite songs reminded me through your strength, wisdom, and support, we can overcome any battles faced in this life. What a wonderful example of support!! Despite feeling under appreciated for my work efforts, receiving feedback to the contrary motivated me to work even harder. What a wonderful example of support! Witnessing the joy and care a friend showed his newborn baby reminded me of how much aid we've received since infancy. What a wonderful example of support! After spectators watched countless matches tonight, their cheering for the last match, my daughter's match, motivated her to a reversal. What a wonderful example of support!

God, you are the epitome of support! You provide us with a righteous path, the freedom to choose to follow, the comfort and grace for our failures, and the rewards of happiness and blessings for a personal relationship with you. What wonderful examples of support!

Lord, may we be open and accepting to asking and receiving help! We may, in fact, be helping someone else fulfill their need to offer support to others!

I love you.

Day of Affirmation

One of my favorite books is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I often recommend it to loved ones who are feeling lost in their marriages or have experienced heartache. If you haven't read it, the premise is simple. All humans have a language for which they feel most loved. Maybe it's spending quality time with someone; maybe it's receiving gifts. For me, it's affirmation. When my love language is not fulfilled, I feel distressed.

I hope I am remembered as someone who wants to give my everything to help others. I don't usually expect anything in return, just knowing my giving is appreciated. However, what I learned about myself after reading Chapman's book, is if I give give give without an occasional thank you in return, I start to feel resentful. The coolest thing about knowing your love language aside from knowing God made us all connected through love, your language is a part of you and applicable in ALL relationships, not just romantic ones.

My girls know if I don't hear "thank you" on periodically, I feel like they take me for granted. When I was making arrangements after the loss of my brother, I felt unappreciated when the efforts I was making to bear the burden for my mother were being questioned. Even at work, when I try to ensure I deliver complete and accurate responses to requests, I am disheartened when it doesn't appear my efforts are "good enough" or "fast enough."

I am so grateful for the actions of others filling my love language without them realizing it. Their selflessness allows me be true to who God created me to be.

Day 14: Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with your image of love. Just now I realize there is no coincidence to my favorite scripture highlighting your greatest commandment of love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

(1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV)

You have placed so many amazing selfless people in my life. Thank you! I have two wonderful children who fill my love meter daily. Thank you! I work for a company who desires to do the right thing for our customers. Thank you! I have a supervisor who ensures the work of his employees is not disparaged. Thank you! I interact with loving, compassionate coworkers who remind me open conversation with you has helped them in varying ways. Thank you! I am part of a church family who welcomes all your children with open, loving arms. Thank you! I am blessed with a family and many friends who love me despite my many faults and mistakes. Thank you!

Lord, I pray I will never pull away from your loving, protective arms. When I falter, please forgive me. When I fall down, please pick me up. When I am lost, please find me. Father, watch over me, my family, my friends, my peers, my future interactions. Bless us with your gift of love. I know I have only experienced a glimpse of its magnitude. Thank you for all that's in store!!

I love you.

Day of Light

As I was leaving the office this evening, I was elated to see the beautiful sunlight breaking through the clouds. I love this time of year! We've survived another shortest day of the year on December 21 and now have the privilege to witness the light shining down on us longer each day!

I'm enthralled by the miraculous color schemes of the evening sky. I certainly did not inherit the artistic gene as many of my family members did, so I can say literally, I could never create such a masterpiece through my imagination. I wonder if God intended these vibrant evening skies to remind us of His magnificence. I certainly like to think so. I wonder if He uses them as daily reminders of His constant presence in our lives. I certainly hope so!!

Day 13: Heavenly Father, thank you for painting our skies with your majestic touch. I'm in awe to your glory and the breathtaking views for which we are blessed to witness. I pray Lord, these glimpses into the beauty you release in our world provide uplifting moments for those needing a light to shine in their hearts.

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands." (Psalm 19:1 NIV)

Father God, it is entirely too easy for your people to take for granted these daily gifts, yet you remain faithful and steadfast. Lord, people try to use science and logic to explain away your work because it's easier than self examination and change. Perhaps people have a fall sense of your expectations. They fear rules. They fear selflessness. They fear the unknown. You call us to turn to you for all we need, yet to do so we must turn our backs on these safe, familiar places regardless of how dark, depressing, and damaging they may be. The decision is easy, yet countless times we fall into the traps of despair. Jesus, even in your darkest moment of desperation in the garden of Gethsemane, you faced your impending pain and suffering asking God only if it was His will could this fate pass you by. Lord, I pray I will encounter the challenging, the difficult, the uncomfortable head on because I know through your Son the path is well lit. 

God in Heaven, I used to have such guilt for this undeserved gift I know I could never return. But, I realize, your gift was no strings attached. Your gift revealed the light of opportunity to experience Heaven on Earth. Father, I ask to be part of your miraculous plan to let your brilliancy shine upon us and help to lift people out of the pits of hopelessness. I know the rich and rewarding life full of viewing your miraculous landscapes is just a prayer away!

I love you.

Day of Hugs

If I had to give up hugs, I would cry. There are so many messages that can be relayed through hugs: intimacy, compassion, comfort, support, joy, sadness, love, forgiveness, acceptance...the list is endless.

Even without the physical embrace, I can feel God's arms wrapped tightly around me. Talk about a feeling of love, protection, safety, and support. Even not being able to witness Jesus interacting with the sinners, the poor, society's outcasts, I know he embraced them with His open arms. How wonderful to know I share this desire to never know a stranger!!

Day 12: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing us the ability to communicate nonverbally. Sometimes the greatest words are shared in silence through a warm exchange. Lord, help me to welcome all your children with open arms. Through your Son, we have seen witness of turning the other cheek. May I be willing to offer the same compassion to those who have harmed me emotionally, physically, or spiritually. I pray I can learn to open my arms even to those with whom I may still hold pain from their actions. I ask for forgiveness from anyone with whom I have left suffering pain from my actions. May they feel the warm embrace of your Spirit as it washes over them to relay your love and presence.

Father God, why do we hold resentment? You teach us how to be close to you; you provide us the blueprint to happiness here on earth. Lord, what is it in our human hearts preventing us from lifting it all to you and not being held down by our burdens of pain and sorrow? I wish we learned from your lessons instead of from our mistakes. God, I wish we celebrated you through our thanksgiving of easy lives because we followed your road map. But, alas, Lord it seems we are so often bogged down with the crud that we yell out your name to save us because of our misery instead of in our moments of joy. Forgive us. Forgive us for our arrogance in forgetting you when times are wonderful and pleading for your mercy in times of challenge. 

I ask you Lord in Heaven for a never ending supply of hugs. I ask for my children to cherish these moments with others and enjoy the rewards of lifting others' spirits. I ask you to use me to deliver those nonverbal messages of love and support from you.

I love you.

Day of Music

Do you know anyone who doesn't like music? It's like a universal language with the differing genres like dialects speaking to our souls in varying ways.

Some days music comforts our hearts, other days it lifts our spirits. Some days music expresses our emotions, other days it transports us to a different time/place. What a beautiful gift from God!

Day 11: Heavenly Father, thank you for the sweet melodies for every moment. What a way to worship you! Lord, I am entranced by the tones created through voice and instruments delivering delightful messages to the soul. I truly want to "fall on my knees to hear the angel voices!" Thank you thank you thank you.

God, despite moments when music may bring about sadness as it elevates disheartening memories, it can also be a reminder of your amazing gift of forgiveness. There have been two songs (pieces) of which I have avoided listening as they brought about such feelings of sadness. But, Lord upon lifting those burdens to you, I am able to experience the joy! Thank you for filling my senses once again! 

Father God, I pray for your comfort for anyone whose burdens are great and weighing them down. May they be drawn to you Jesus as the guiding source for true freedom from despair. I pray for them to open their hearts and minds and be transformed. Let them be filled! Let them hear the music again.

I love you.

Day of Tasks

With an unplanned full week out of school, it appears many kiddos are ready to get back to the grind. Likewise, many parents faced the same feeling of needing life to return to normal with day-to-day tasks consuming our lives. Of course, I can appreciate this desire, but sometimes find myself a bit overwhelmed after a period of respite.

Perhaps, it's this nagging cough or facing many immediate tasks needing my attention, but I am spent this evening! I think that's what happens when we try to make up for lost time. Unfortunately, it's in these moments when I am most vulnerable to feeling under appreciated.

Day 10 - Heavenly Father, thank you for watching over me and my family today. I don't think I say it often enough, I appreciate just knowing your presence surrounds me, regardless of what consumes my attention. 

Lord, help me to show others I appreciate them and help me teach my children the importance of showing appreciation. Days like today in which I felt pulled in many directions trying to satisfy all the requirements of my time and attention, I feel overused and under appreciated. But, it is in these times I'm reminded how much I fall short in showing you my appreciation for all the beautiful blessings in my life. Father, thank you for listening to my words, feeling my heart, and comforting my distress. I know when I feel at a loss of the appropriate words to convey my concerns to others You speak through me clearly and compassionately.

My God, you are truly my friend. Thank you for always being by my side. I know despite these human responses, it is your love that matters and will help navigate the murky waters of distress.

I love you.

Day of Perseverance

New Year's resolutions demonstrate people's willingness to embark on all sorts of things...give up something, take on something, change something, etc. I think most often, the intentions are just and genuine. In Forrest Gump, the beginning of a new year is summed up similarly to our intent of resolutions, "Don't you just love New Year's? You can start all over. Everybody gets a second chance."

However, it appears one common denominator prevents many from making it past a couple of weeks with the good intentions...perseverance. Let's face it, we know the things we need or desire to change, but we lack the willpower when the fire starts to fade and realities of hard work face us. All aspects of our physical and spiritual health require perseverance.

Day 9: Heavenly Father, thank you for persevering to make life with your people. We have fallen so short of your grace and mercy over and over and over, yet You still guide us, comfort us, and love us. Lord, why is it easy for me to view my own parenting as par for the course when repetitive teaching is necessary, but when I view your grace for us, I am awestruck? Lord, where is the balance in being humble to your gifts and blinded to them? This is where I continue falling short, please forgive me! I yearn to view your parenting just as I did my grandfather's, yet I continue to be bewildered by your omnipotence and do not feel worthy. Holy Spirit please touch me with that deep in the gut feeling to provide me physical reminders God in Heaven is my father here on earth!

Father God, thank you for life's lessons and opportunities to help me persevere when life seems to be stacked against me. Jesus, I see in my children what you demonstrated as the Son. You never gave up on us. I cry out to you knowing your suffering was caused by my sins. You persevered through exhaustion, agony, betrayal, and crucifixion because of His great plan. There was no reason to question or ask or muddy the waters with rationale because you trusted your Father. As I reflected on my daughter's exhausting wrestling practice this evening, You showed me what an amazing lesson she demonstrates through perseverance. Despite the chips being stacked against her as a girl competing in a predominately male sport, she fights through grueling workouts because she knows her coach sees great promise. She exhausts her body because she won't accept anything, but perfection. She battles through stereotypes of what her gender should and should not do because she loves the sport. Just as you accepted your Father's direction with all trust in Him, so does she accept whatever her coach directs because she trusts him. 

God, how beautiful to witness your lessons of perseverance through a child! I pray when I may be close to giving up on a resolution or path you've laid before me because it feels too difficult, I will remember your lessons of perseverance. Amazing gifts can be reached if I don't give up too soon.

I love you.

Day of Help

Asking for help seems to be such a difficult thing for me. Perhaps, it stems from childhood or some fear of appearing vulnerable. But, regardless of the reasons, everyone needs help.

As a single mom with very active children, I'm slowly realizing (I did say slowly, right) it's okay to ask for help. I've learned in those moments when people offer assistance, it is out of their generosity and genuine care for me. 

Day 8: Heavenly Father, today proved to be one of the opportunities to practice asking for help. Upon waking up with a fever, I was concerned about how to get my daughter to practice. Many people probably wouldn't think twice and ask a friend for assistance; but, Lord, you surely know I struggle in this area. Forgive me for teaching my daughter to have the same uncomfortableness asking for help as I have throughout my life. We come to You seeking wisdom, guidance, strength, and help and yet have a hard time asking the same of our loved ones? I recognize it actually takes away from others being able to demonstrate their love for us when we try to bear all of life's burdens. Through your direction, may we be more inclined to seek out help when we need it.

Father, thank you for your generosity to us with your Son. As someone who so desperately wants to follow His teachings, I pray I will examine myself openly and honestly to continue making changes where I clearly fall short.

God in Heaven, I ask for your comforting hands on hurting shoulders, for your wisdom and grace on your lost sheep, for your healing words for broken hearts, and above all, Lord I ask for your help. Work within me in areas I don't even realize need your help.

I love you.

Day of Thanks

While schools remain closed for another day, businesses delay operation start ups, I am reminded of how much I've enjoyed these last few days home with my daughters. I suppose I could grumble about being home bound or having cabin fever, but what relief would I feel from these temporary releases? Certainly, venting has its place, but do we miss the good stuff if we are too quick to complain?

I read such a beautiful post from one of the most amazing moms with whom I've become friendly during these last years of wrestling. She was EXCITED about another day snowbound with her family. They've taken the virtual community shutdown to play games, bake treats, watch movies, exercise together, and enjoy each other's company...how wonderful!! I'm thankful to get to know this family; her joy has touched my heart!

Day 7: Heavenly Father, thank you for helping me see the good stuff. Whether it be through your direct intersection in my life or through witnessing your work in others, I am indebted! Even now, despite feeling I may have contracted the little one's bug, I'm thankful. The dancing dork was lively and joyous today, how refreshing to see her healing! The dedicated athlete tackled her home workout quickly and efficiently to maintain her integrity as a member of team army! How proud I am and thankful for my children's demeanor despite being "stuck at home."

Lord, thank you for the opportunity to serve you through this medium. I am humbled by the compliments I have received. Father God, all glory to You for laying on my heart the call to share our conversations openly.

I do ask You to forgive me for placating my faith, Lord. So often, I talk about our relationship with clarifiers using phrases like "here's how God speaks to me" or "my faith teaches me" out of fear. I try to live by example and hope my life speaks of your grace and mercy. I hide behind complacent words out of fear of turning someone away or being too in your face. But, Jesus, you are real, you are here, and you are fact; there's no need to have clarifiers with facts. Please continue working in my to be your disciple!

Lord, lastly, thank you for medicine and empathetic children. As I experience these flu like symptoms, I know they are simply temporary compared to the sufferings of others. Knowing, God, I have children who are respectful and understanding to the needs of their mommy helps to expedite the healing process of these miraculous bodies!!

I love you.

Day of Resourcefulness

Boy oh boy, today easily could have been consumed with negativities found in the human condition. Pride, ego, sadness, anger, resentment resonated when I first stepped outside in the bitter cold. Initially, pride and ego took hold as I shoveled the walkway; but, was thwarted within minutes when my fingers were stabbing with pain from the cold.

Changing gloves, I continued with the task, but quickly succumbed to overwhelming feelings of sadness, anger, and resentment as I vented about being in a situation in which I was shoveling what seemed to be never ending task. That doggone stabbing started again!

It seemed I was making little progress, perhaps more with my attitude than the task at hand. As I moved into the sun, a thought occurred to me, how resourceful I felt! I realized all the negativity may be what was holding back my progress. I started praying, thanking God for the ability to accomplish tasks which may seem overwhelming to others. I thanked Him for helping me to face negative emotions head on. I thanked Him for providing me clarity to see past the crud and on to the beauty of even the cold, exhausting task of shoveling a foot of snow. Some might say this is coincidence (in my view, a God instance), but when my attitude changed, my hands warmed up enough to accomplish the task!

Day 6: Heavenly Father, thank you for the snow. Thank you for the cold. Thank you for your reminders today. Lord, we are missing opportunities to experience You! We are consumed with destructive feelings holding us back from moments to let You lead us.

Father God, thank you for helping me survive life's challenges. Thank you for laying a path before me which led to being right where I am in life, caring for these two cherubs. Thank you God for helping me see the value in being resourceful. Today, while I shoveled and spoke to you, I had an opportunity in which I could have hired someone to finish my drive. It would've saved me an hour of being in the cold. But, had I chosen "the easy way out," I likely wouldn't have had the same moments of reflection and appreciation for my circumstances. Thank you thank you thank you!!

Jesus, I ask for your presence and warmth to surround those without electricity, those without shelter, and those without a relationship with You. Lord, please reveal yourself in a tangible way to those who are lost. Please use me in whatever capacity You see fit to help your sheep!

Father, thank you for the gift of resourcefulness. Our conversation today may have been lost to negativity and a snow plow!

I love you

Day of Peace

In our overly busy lives, we forget to take time and experience the peace of our surroundings. The onslaught of snow in the area caused frantic response at the grocery stores, on the roads, and in our lives. But, upon waking this morning to the fresh snow, I was reminded of the beautiful peace of being "snowed in."

I stepped on my porch, the girls still fast asleep, and took in the surroundings. Despite the continuous flakes, I heard birds chirping. Despite the need to "clear out," I witnessed neighbors playing. Despite the frigid temps, I watched a squirrel frolicking in the fresh blanket! How glorious!

Day 5: Heavenly Father, thank you! Thank you for this bit of respite to take in my surroundings and be at peace. Lord, I know humans are in a constant state of "go," but I don't think that was your plan for our lives. It's relationship. Wow, what a day to witness relationship!! How do You do it, Father? How do You constantly keep me in awe of your great purpose? Thank you. Thank you for helping me keep my eyes open to this peaceful tranquility laid before us today. 

God in Heaven, I do ask for you to be with those in need of a warm place to stay and food for their nourishment. Thank you for working in the lives of so many people in our communities reaching out to those in need and offering them peace of mind, even if for only a moment. My God, You are an amazing God! Lord, I read and heard grumbling about the cold and wet weather. But, Lord, even in those moments, I witnessed a bit of peace from those grumbling as parents took in the sight of your winter wonderland, sharing special moments with friends and family. Thank you...thank you...thank you!!

In all this peace, Jesus, I do ask for your forgiveness for my distractedness today as I briefly felt spent from the little one's cough. Father, she is only 5, but after two days of coughing nearly constantly, I was becoming agitated. Please forgive me. As I lie here patting her back listening to her sleeping peacefully, I am reminded of how this day began and pray I develop greater patience.

Lastly, Lord, thank you for sharing with us  your Prince of Peace. Thank you for guiding me toward a personal relationship with your Son and my Savior. Thank you for the opportunity to worship from home today and the wonderful surprise of my girls joining me this morning. Father God, what joy and peace it brings to my heart witnessing my children on their faith journeys! We are blessed by your grace and mercy!!

I love you.

Photo posted on Pinterest from The Commons Getty

Day of Trust

As I lie here sharing this prayer, I am reminded of the innocence of children. My little one is slowly overcoming her flu-like symptoms; but, this healing has been exhausting on her little body. When she awakened briefly, she appeared scared and sad. As she turned her teary-eyed face towards mine, she smiles, lays her head down on my shoulder, and returns peacefully to her slumber. Whatever may have startled her, she trusts me to comfort and protect her. How wonderful to be so innocent!!

As adults, along with joy has come heartache; along with safety, fear; and, along with trust, pain. Too often, we let the heartache, fear, and pain keep us from trusting relationships including one with God. However, if we could release all these bad experiences and trust Him, He can create something unimaginably positive in our lives!

Day 4 - Heavenly Father, I fall to my knees before You. Lord, take my brokenness and create something far beyond my imagination. You know the painful memories of a childhood distant from the one You chose to nurture me. You know the heartaches of two failed marriages. You know my fears for my children.

Jesus help me trust You to use me as a positive image for my mother. Please break down the protective wall I have built through placating. God in Heaven, please keep punching through my protective walls and share my fears for my mother's health directly with her. Lord, use me to reach her in a way that keeps her close. Father God, may I be of service to You? May You use my openness to help others trust in your love and protection? May I share your message of hope and trust through my stories of experience by saying "I know, I've been there, I can relate...and so has He?"

Father God, I thank You for forgiveness. Help me Lord to guide others to forgive. What a fantastic gift You provide us! So often, God, people fear forgiveness because they want to hold on to the pain to remind them of the hurt caused. Others fear forgiveness because they don't think it's just punishment. Still, others fear forgiveness because they can't forget. Lord in Heaven help me share my journey of forgiveness and the release of burden. How beautiful the gift...it's actually for us!! It allows us not to be defined by others' indiscretions. It allows us to be freed from the burdens of past pains! It frees us to see a new path! 

Oh God, please forgive me. God Almighty, You know of two for whom I struggle to forgive. Lord, please continue working in me. Sometimes I rationalize my parenting under the guise of just being protective. But, Lord, You know it is out of fear from experiences so deep and painful I cannot fathom my children experiencing. I trust in you, Jesus. I will continue working to break down these protective walls.

Father, I thank you for working on my broken heart. Please keep me walking down your path with open eyes and an open heart. Whatever your will, Lord, may I be the person You seek me to be and if it is your will, may I find the person who will work for your will!!

I trust you, Jesus. I trust you, God. I trust you, Holy Spirit...please keep the God pimples coming!!

I love you.

Day of Rest

I think we can all relate to days where we've lacked much needed rest. Perhaps, we're overworked, consumed with children, or burdened by some concern. Sometimes, I feel guilty ever feeling this temporary moment of exhaustion, particularly in comparison to what Job experienced. But, I must remember, I am human and my body was designed to warn me of the need for physical rest. Perhaps, God created warning lights within us so we don't pull away from Him or become consumed only with ourselves and burdens. My physical signs are nausea and shaking feeling when I lack necessary rest. Today, was one of those days after caring for the little one and functioning on a couple of hours of sleep.

Day 3: Heavenly Father, I come to you now first to thank you for those physical reminders to be respectful of our temples. Lord, it's so easy to run down with the daily hubbub. We consume ourselves with activity and wishing we had just a few more hours in the day. My God, thank you for not providing those, but rather warning us to slow down, take a respite, and rejuvenate.

I ask for forgiveness that I don't listen sometimes until I'm functioning on vapors. I yearn for clarity in priorities, Lord! There are times when I know I should close my eyes and rest, but get distracted with the absurdity of television or silly phone games. You know me better than I know myself Father God. Please use your Heavenly spotlight on this path of rest.

Thank you for helping my daughters enjoy some much needed rest during this winter break and be refreshed for the new school semester. May I use your example through them for my own recuperation.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28 NIV)

I love you.

Day of Comfort

Despite concern for my little one's health today, I am comforted by knowing God's hands can heal minds, bodies, and souls. Yesterday, my little girl started feeling a bit under weather. She soon developed a fever and frequent non-productive coughs. Her fever reached nearly 104 and caused much discomfort. But, it is in these moments I am reminded of God's great design for mommies' innate ability to care for others. I'm thankful for His plan and knowing what we can handle.

Day 2: Heavenly Father, despite being quite tired today as I cared for my little girl last night and today, I thank you for giving me the tools to care for her. Lord, fevers, coughing, lethargy can be quite scary; but, You provide parents (and, in particular, moms) with the tools necessary to evaluate objectively symptoms which might otherwise frighten a child. Thank you! 

Father God, thank you for blessing me with compassion, love, and understanding. Thank you for placing along my job path a position that provides me options to support my family financially, but also the flexibility to be able to support them physically. Thank you for providing doctors, scientists, and caregivers with knowledge to help diagnose, treat, and relieve symptoms specifically when children may only be able to say, "mommy, I don't feel well."

God Almighty, I know there are children who face ailments far more frightening than my little girl's flu-like symptoms. Likewise, I know these conditions may leave us at a loss of understanding when one of these little angels joins you in Heaven, prematurely in our minds. But, God, I find comfort in You. I find comfort knowing if I were to face such a tragedy, my beloveds would be welcomed into your loving embrace for eternity. I pray Father if the time comes when I need to help a loved one through such a tragedy of losing a child, I am able to articulate clearly the comfort I experience in our relationship.

Lord, may I turn to you always...in thanksgiving and gratitude...in sadness and confusion...in loss and bewilderment...in awe and respect...in whatever I'm feeling,

God may I always be drawn to you as my Father!

I love you.