Day of Priorities

Parents tend to battle competing priorities trying to raise children, excel professionally, and develop spiritually. It can seem chaotic at times and weigh heavy on our shoulders when all these priorities are battling for top position.

Viewing them objectively, my faith is always first as everything positive results from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Secondly, my children's needs gain my full attention. Lastly, I focus on the expectations of my employer and my desire to be useful. Wouldn't it be so much easier if life was this black and white?

The reality is this objective priority structure can't exist (at least, not for me). When one aspect of life needs more attention than the other, it must move to the top of the list regardless of its position in the objective list of priorities.

One way I've found to help overcome the anxiety of the constant vying for my attention is to make lists. Even though I may already know what needs to be accomplished, writing down each task tricks my mind to feel success by checking things off a task list. Despite the tediousness of such an exercise, the sense of accomplishment is uncanny.

Day 58: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me clarity to adjust to changing priorities. Thank you for your presence in my life so that I may never feel alone. Thank you for providing direction to help me refocus when my priorities are out of sync.

Lord, often people plead "if I only had xx hours a day, I could accomplish..." Sadly, we'd just fill those hours up too and beg for more hours. I pray for your wisdom in recognizing when the subjectivity of life's tasks skew the objective view of priorities. Please help remind us it's not more time we need, but how we use that time most effectively. 

Father God, may I always find time to worship you daily (thank you for your mercy when I falter). I pray I create unique opportunities to spend quality time with my daughters. I want to share direct interaction with each of them frequently regardless of the chaos consuming our schedules. I pray for motivation to focus on completing tasks at work in a timely fashion. I want to avoid letting work expectations overrule other priorities in my life on a regular basis. Thank you for protecting me from myself.

I love you.

Day of Masks

Pain stinks...period. I can't sugarcoat it. Whether physical, mental, or spiritual pain, it can cause you a world of hurt. Unfortunately, the only way to overcome pain is to face it; anything else is just masking the pain and prolonging its hold on you!

Today, I woke up perplexed by the previous night's lack of words to express my prayers to God. I was silent. Thankfully, I was silent. I was ready to observe. I was ready to listen. As I dropped off my daughter at school, I spoke to the before/after school care supervisor. He looked a little worse for wear; but, it was early, so I assumed he was tired.

In our brief exchange of pleasantries, it dawned on me he was more than just tired. Out of concern, I asked if he was feeling okay. What I learned next hits home with me on many levels. He was overcoming the pains of having his stomach pumped three times resulting from alcohol poisoning. This guy is in his 20s, the stereotypical party age! He must've consumed an excessive amount of alcohol to suffer so much! 

Knowing we'd both served in the military and he'd been injured in combat, I started connecting the dots. I asked if he suffered PTSD. Sadly, he does and meets with VA counselors periodically. Unfortunately, like so many people, the pains were too great from combat, he used alcohol to mask them. After being injured, he drank heavily, quit cold turkey, and when the memories consumed him again, he masked them with alcohol again.

Masks keep us spiraling out of control. We need more and more masks to keep our pains at bay. The more we retreat behind the masks, the deeper we fall. 

Pain stinks...period. It's hard to face it. But, with God as your counselor, you can face the greatest pains the human race has ever suffered. Give it to God and let your healing begin!

Day 57: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me the opportunity to speak with this young man today. Thank you for providing the words to speak compassionately, yet directly. Thank you for helping me use the tragic loss of my brother as a connecting point to support this young man.

Father God, too many people for whom I care use masks to cope rather than face pains. I want to scream from a mountain "you're not alone!! God, loves you and wants you to let Him help you!" Lord, I want to plead exhaustively! It hurts to know people can't lift their pains to you and instead rely on their own destructive, coping mechanisms. How can I help?!?

Lord in Heaven, I plead for your direct presence in the life of this young man. He's lost. He hurts. He's confused. He's suffering. Perhaps, this wake up call was indeed your intercession in his life. I pray he will recognize his pain can be healed by facing it with you by his side.

Please use me Lord to help this young man in any capacity for which you deem my involvement can be helpful.

I love you.

Source: http://daughterbydesign.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/the-masks-we-wear/put-away-the-mask/

Day of Silence

What a strange day yesterday was for me! With so much to say to God, so much for which I want to express my gratitude, so much for which I want to be forgiven, I was taken aback when I was literally at a loss of words.

My prayerful life has been active and vibrant this year! What happened? Why couldn't I (of all people) not find any words to express? Upon embarking on this journey, I guess I didn't prepare myself for not knowing what to say.

It wasn't until this morning when I realized, my silence was necessary. Sometimes too many words get in the way of hearing and seeing important aspects of life. Muting my voice prepared me to pay attention this morning when it was critical.

Day 56: Heavenly Father, thank you for knowing what is in my heart and mind. Thank you for not always requiring me to be vocal to show I love you. Thank you for silencing my words yesterday, so that I was able to hear you clearly today.

God, prayer can be a difficult practice for someone who grades her dental exam results. It shouldn't be so challenging when there is so much I want to express. When I can't find the words, I feel embarrassed and ashamed! Yet, I know your greater plan far exceeds my pridefulness and if you didn't silence my voice, I might miss opportunities to share and receive love.

Despite the hindsight of my clarity, thank you for knowing me better than I know myself.

I love you.

Day of Recharge

Everyone needs a day or two to recharge! I think most people view the weekends as providing time for such renewal, but it can happen anytime, in my humble opinion.

Oftentimes, I think people translate rest, relaxation, respite, recharge (or whatever r-word comes to mind) to mean physical and mental (although, I bet we forget this part too). But, what about spiritual? This doesn't necessarily mean just going to church, listening to a sermon, and heading out into the world. 

The world according to Jasmine views a spiritual recharge surpassing the obvious. Absolutely, prayer, worship, and fellowship with believers is essential in our faith journeys; but, for me a spiritual recharge includes my interactions with others. When anyone interacts with me, I hope what they receive is love. Genuine love...that's my spiritual recharge!

Day 55: Heavenly Father, thank you for creating me through love. Thank you for designing humans to require a recharge. In my eyes, Lord, you designed us to need physical, mental, and spiritual renewal in order to maintain perfect balance and achieve at-one-ment with you!

God, I think I'm in tune with my body to know when I'm not in perfect balance and a recharge is necessary. Is that arrogant? Why do I feel like it's easy for me to identify and not so easy for others? Is it possible to help teach others how to find the internal balance between physical, mental, and spiritual elements of their lives? Or is it just naturally easier for others? My goodness, I don't know yet what my spiritual gift is, but if it has to do with helping people with attitude, spiritual strength, or balance, I can't wait! (Not to say I can wait if it's something else, I just feel comfortable in these areas.)

Father God, I want to help people experience the tranquility I have in this life. You know I get frustrated and discouraged in moments; but overall, I try to live by the "don't sweat the small stuff" motto and recognize the necessity of a recharge exists. The greatest recharge for me seems to be sharing conversations with others, even perfect strangers. It's amazing the adjustment in my attitude when a person in the service industry, for example, is taken aback when I ask how they're doing. Seeing someone's smile after from a simple exchange like that warms my spirit!

Lord, thank you for your clarity and wisdom to help me live a balanced physical, mental, and spiritual life. I trust in your physical reminders when something's out of sync and I need a recharge.

I love you.

Source: http://huijun1910.wordpress.com/2010/03/02/from-dreadful-loneliness-to-blissful-solitude/

Day of Digging Deep

Have you ever gotten to a place where you're just done? You're spent...exhausted...have nothing else in you! I'm pretty sure that's where my daughter started out yesterday morning before her last wrestling tournament of the season. She was exhausted physically, drained mentally, and overwhelmed emotionally.

However, as always, my daughter dug deep within to gain the necessary drive and determination to wrestle the best she ever has in all three years of wrestling. I don't know why I was surprised, this girl is resilient!! With only one other competitor in her weight class, my daughter dug deep to wrestle against an additional four girls who were 10 pounds heavier! She dug deep within to find an inner strength most of us would beg to have! My athlete dug deep to prove there's no point in showing up if you're not going to give it your all!

This digging deep and giving all is what I dream of Christians! With so much secular influence, we become exhausted fighting a battle that may seem winless. Yet, I hope followers of Christ can be like my daughter and dig deep within giving everything they have to fight for the souls of our fellow men!

Day 54: Heavenly Father, thank you for speaking through my daughter's actions to demonstrate a determination Christians should emulate. Thank you for allowing me the honor of raising her! 

God, it can be draining and disheartening living in a world so blinded by sin. Yet, I still view this world you've gifted us as beautiful! Every day, Lord, I witness your work in people, sometimes even without their knowing or accepting. I don't want to be a cynic of this world just begging for your return. Father, I want to cherish this beautiful life with which you've blessed me and dig deep to not give up hope. 

Father God, I'm not naive or too optimistic; I just trust in you. You could've  set the reset button countless times. It's your game. It's your play. You make the rules. Yet, you are faithful, loving, and trusting of the influence your followers can have in fulfilling your almighty plan. How wonderful living with trust in your great plan and not letting the world of negatives keep me in despair and unable to dig deep for you.

I love you.

Day of Protection

Most people who know me would probably say I'm pretty patient and try to understand situations. But, when it comes to my daughters' comforts, the protective momma bear can strike if you're not careful.

Most people who know me also know I know what it's like to have a disinterested parent. It angers and pains me to witness my eldest experiencing even a glimpse of what disinterest from a parent feels like.

I desperately need God to work in me to find effective conversation tools to emphasize the dangers of lacking interest in your daughter's interests. With so much negativity in the world, I want to help alleviate some of life's burdens while my girls are still children because they have their entire adult lives to battle them.

Day 53: Heavenly Father, thank you for fostering a relationship of trust and comfort between me and my daughters. Thank you for making me question whether or not my desire to defend my daughter is objective or reactionary.

Lord, I know you are watching over us and I shouldn't worry, but I do. I fear my daughter will develop resentment and bitterness for experiences as a child. Please help me use the right words to build her up and help her focus on the positives of her relationship, not the negatives. 

Father God, I am so blessed to raise these two wonderful girls. They are growing into amazing young ladies who I pray will always find comfort in their relationship with you. Even though I am drawn to wanting to protect them with defensive words, I know lifting them up positively and teaching them to turn the other cheek is the best approach I can take. Please forgive me in my moments of weakness when I may react first and think later. I know you will always show me the appropriate path, I just need to pause, open my eyes, and see it.

I love you.

Day of Teamwork

When my daughter initially told me she wanted to wrestle, I was skeptical because of my preconceived notions about "those types of boys." I know, completely unfair and prejudicial, but we're talking about my first born. I'm a pretty protective momma (ashamed to admit it, but I'll be honest about my initial worries.)

Needless to say, after watching her dedication to the team, even with season ending injuries her first season, my stereotypes were quickly thwarted. Wrestling is arguably the most mentally and physically demanding sport. I no longer view them as boys and girls wrestling each other, they are all athletes on one team trying to win as a team.

Last night was a fantastic testament to this one team. Two wrestlers qualified to compete in the IHSAA state wrestling tournament. The vast majority of this one team attended the tournament to show their support for two of their teammates. What a lesson!

Can you imagine if Christians could show up as a collective beyond Sunday worship to support the one team that is the body of Christ?

Day 52: Heavenly Father, thank you for creating a daughter who steps out of her comfort zone to try something different. Thank you for breaking down my stereotype and revealing to me the many benefits of my child's chosen sport. Thank you for a coach who teaches far more than just wrestling maneuvers.

Lord, what a glorious opportunity to use this lesson about support and teamwork in our faith journeys. As your disciples, we should bond together to support your church. Your message through Pastor Scott that we have enough churches hits deep within me, Lord! Let us spend less time creating new churches when we may not see eye to eye and work to build up your church! Not the denomination, not the ceremony, not even the doctrine! I pray your believers can use your Word, the common love for you, and work as a team to build your kingdom. 

Father God, thank you for opening my eyes and letting me see, beautiful glimpses of truth from Thee!

I love you.

Day of Timeliness

I don't believe God controls what happens to us. So, for example, when a tragedy strikes and people ask why God would let something like that happen, I simply state He doesn't. God's story, His plan for the human race, is on a completely different plane than ours. I firmly believe He comforts our pains, thereby transforming us to rely on Him!

I titled this prayer timeliness because I'm in awe to some significant events which have placed me in the right church at the right time for His purpose! How incredible!! My family decided it was time to seek a new church to continue our spiritual growth. I had an expectation it would likely be the church we planned to visit in the third week. So, we visited the first church, overwhelming to say the least. We visited the second church. Then, the second again...and again...and again. 

I felt God working through the pastors in the second church and connecting His messages directly to my life. While I enjoyed traditional worship, my girls went to junior worship. We finally decided after six months or so, this was the family with whom we wanted to grow. Even though we transferred our memberships making it all official, we were still finding our place within this body.

During family worship, my daughters and I were participating in the contemporary service. Experiencing worship with them sparked this unyielding desire to attend both traditional (for my comfort) and contemporary (for our comfort) services. Was this God's only plan? Oh no! 

We became more involved with Wednesday bible studies and volunteering. This developed new relationships and built a greater foundation in our faith journeys. Was this God's only plan? Oh no! 

We experienced a worship series on Jesus, then a worship series on the Holy Spirit. Something felt different during these sermons. I felt God reaching my inner core and saying "daughter, I need you to hear me." During this time, our pastor began sharing with us a unique blessing God grants to Christians - spiritual gifts. Was this God's plan? I believe so!

I firmly believe God placed paths before me to hear His call to immerse myself fully in His church and He will grant me unique spiritual gifts to work through me for His glorious kingdom! 

That, my friends, is God's timing!!

Day 51: Heavenly Father, thank you for your impeccable timing. It's so easy to become impatient or discouraged when our needs aren't met on our time. But, you remind me through your spirit, my plans and timing are not necessarily your prioritized plans and timing.

God, I pray upon identifying my spiritual gifts, I will recognize them as only received by your grace. I fear I may blur the lines and take credit for your blessings. Thank you for entrusting me to uphold your name and fulfill your plan through these gifts. When I am weary or unsure, Lord, please strengthen my resolve.

Father God, your timing never ceases to amaze me. I trust you and live to serve you. What an honor to lift your name and share your mighty Word for the common good!

I love you.

Source:  http://www.newcov.tv/news/improving-your-serve/

Day of Attitude

"Don't make me snap my fingers in a z formation!" At least, that's what I wish I was yelling at the cat this morning. We were making fantastic time for school drop offs. With my "must only make one trip to load the car" attitude, the cat sneaked in the house as I was juggling my stuff while trying to close the door. Needless to say, I was swearing like a sailor!! I rarely swear, so for me not to be able to refrain from using empty curse words spoke volumes to my bad attitude. I hunted down the feline all the while swearing and lecturing him about his selfishness. Yes, I do realize he's a cat.

After I finally made it to the car, I realized there was only one minute to make it to school on time. Yea, strangely, I thought miraculously I could beat the clock, obviously failing miserably! If I haven't already painted the proper picture, my attitude was completely irrational. 

Then, all things changed! I stopped to get my morning IV drip...eh...coffee. I'm still steaming with frustration. As I'm randomly staring at others waiting on my order, I noticed a mom who appeared to have a less than one-year-old (she had a baby carrier in the back seat of her car loaded in reverse, you know infant style.) I felt sorry for the mom. She looked tired and worn (babies can sure do that to you). It was in this moment, I recognized a shift in my demeanor. I was no longer dwelling on my petty problems with the cat and delays. I paid for her coffee to help lift spirits a bit as she had mine and enjoyed the rest of the day with a fresh attitude!

What a fantastic reminder to love others even when we're stuck in a bad attitude moment! God teaches us that if you love one another and look past yourself, you can become part of His divine plan! What an honor to be able to be a part of glorifying God's kingdom!

Day 50: Heavenly Father, thank you for working through me today! I ask for your forgiveness when I allowed my silly problems to get in the way of your glory. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of a moment which may have transformed someone's day as you transformed mine.

God, as I continue exploring the spiritual gifts you have granted me to help do your will, I pray I will be ready and willing, whatever the call may be. I have fear I could not put it all on the line for you. You know in my heart I struggle with the idea "what if God called you to an Abraham/Isaac situation?" I proclaim I love you unconditionally, but would I if my beautiful daughters were at stake? You are a loving God and I don't literally stew in anxiety worrying about whether or not I will be called to sacrifice my children, but I do ponder whether I'm strong enough and have the right attitude to fulfill your plans for me.

Father God, could I make a request? I pray when you are ready to use me and I have doubt or question you, will you get out the crayons and speak to me like I'm five? I don't want to miss a chance to be a part of your great works because I'm wrapped up in my attitude and feelyou're  overreaching when you chose me! 

I trust in you and am your servant even when I am fearful. You won't have to drag me along; Lord, I am "coming after" you!

I love you.

Day of Slop

Many Hoosiers were thrilled with the "heat wave" today with temps reaching the 50s. Even though I don't mind the snow (I mean it is still winter), the frigid temps were wreaking havoc for me and my little one, both asthma sufferers. My plan after work was to take a jog to enjoy a bit of the evening sun.

Thankfully, it dawned on me that my youngest hasn't been able to enjoy much of the snow because of the temps. What better time to take her sledding when there's tons of snow still on the ground and comfortable temps to protect her little lungs! As we trudged through the sloppy mess of snow, we could've easily said it was just too wet (it really was wet). But, instead, we embraced it! After a few attempts getting the sled to go anywhere, we made a nice slick path for giddy fun! Even with boots getting stuck in the slop and falling off our feet, it was a hoot! 

We had a choice: we could've viewed the sloppiness just on the surface as a spoiler for any laughter or we could dig a little deeper and embrace the howls of laughter caused by sopping, sometimes missing, boots! I think this is a nice analogy for people teetering on the edge of Christianity. They could view just the sloppy surface of personal sacrifice required to serve a greater purpose or they could dig through the fear of sloppiness and realize the out of this world life to be experienced giving all to God!! I say enjoy the slop; it's so worth it!!

Day 49: Heavenly Father, thank you for creating me to be an optimist! I find this winter to be perfect (well, nearly). If it was warmer, I may not have appreciated the opportunity presented to share some fun in the uniquely warm temps! Thank you for the sloppy snow sledding celebration today!

Lord, what more can I do to help people understand their fear that faith can "slop" up their lives is merely a myth? I've tried being an example, a witness, a counselor, a confidant, and a resource, but until someone has experienced their own aha! moment with you, I feel lost as to what else to do. How do I get past their fears and reveal the positive transformation that occurs following you personally?

Father God, I pray my loved ones are able to find happiness in sloppy moments! Help them to see the light of opportunity in the darkest moments. Help them to feel the warmth of support during cold, lonely days. Help them find clear direction even in the middle of chaos. It is through you I trust all these things are possible. I cherish my sloppy moments as they realign my focus toward you.

I love you.

Source:

http://bionicdaniel.blogspot.com/2009_01_01_archive.html?m=1

Day of Pursuit

When you think of things you've pursued with your whole heart, what things come to mind? Some might say a career, a status, a spouse, or a family. How often to you hear someone say Jesus?

I'm reading an eye-opening book right now titled "Not a Fan." It challenges the reader to determine whether or not she is a follower of Jesus or simply a fan. It's a difficult read because I view myself as a follower, but appear to be falling in line with many fans. At first I found this quite disheartening, but soon realized, it's ok. Recognition is the first step to change! 

Sometimes, I think maybe my openness regarding faith and my priorities in life have those who care about me concerned I'm "taking it too far." But, that's just where we differ in opinion (and I love their concern). For me, it's an all or none thing! Either I am fully committed to my relationship with Jesus Christ or I'm not. It's no different than a marriage. You're either all in, fully committed to the one with whom you've shared vows or you're not. Commitment isn't a part way, I'll give 75% of myself contract. It is giving all of you because you expect the same in return. The cool thing about this relationship with Christ, you don't have to worry about whether He was a man of His word!

Day 48: Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me before you even knew me. I understand the magnitude of this by loving my girls wholeheartedly before I even knew their names. Thank you for your faithfulness in me even when I appear to be a fan of yours.

Lord, am I on the right path to be called a follower? I know there isn't a checklist, but rather a point in time when I won't feel like I need to ask. I want to be like your disciples, dropping EVERYTHING when you said "follow me." Lately, I feel this transition within me desiring more...more knowledge, more prayer, more involvement, more commitment, more goose bumps. Perhaps, this is my "follow me" moment?

Father God, please provide me the clarity to pursue you through all the distractions. Please provide me the drive to remain when the aha! moments aren't constant. Please provide me the commitment to your teachings when there's an easier way out. I am in pursuit of you, your Son, and your Spirit. Just call me the Trinity Stalker!

I love you.

Source: http://www.ccfla.com/knowing-god-my-lifes-ultimate-pursuit/

Day of Family

I'm sure many share this sentiment: I adore my family. We are all uniquely different and fit together perfectly to form a beautiful picture! I love the skewed lines of our technical relation. For example, even though my mom is technically the eldest sibling, I am viewed as the youngest sister. Even though the only male is technically my uncle, we all call him Bro (or, in my case, Uncle Bro...I promise all legit, no incest). Even though I am technically their niece, I grew up with the girls of "the second family" as my big sisters. Even though I'm technically cousins with their children, I'm really viewed as another aunt. I could never ask for anything more than than this beautiful, convoluted, confusing mess!!

Day 47: Heavenly Father, thank you for blessing me with a loving, supportive group of siblings! I cherish each and every memory with them and have no reason to ask you for anyone more than who you've placed in my life. Thank you for blessing my grandpa and grandma with such a big, beautiful brood who have watched over me throughout my life.

For my mother: Lord, thank you for your timing. Despite the loss I may have felt not really knowing her as a child might want to know her parent, I am thankful for the rekindling of our relationship now. Thank you for challenging me to express my pain, sorrow, joy, and protection with and for her. Hearing those words "I love you Jasmine" from my mom catch me every time. Thank you, Father, for my mother!

For Sarah: Lord, thank you for this amazing momauntsisterfriend. You have blessed her with compassion, intelligence, empathy, and protective arms for which I have often turned for advice and comfort. I hope you had a hand in my Spain trip falling through in high school, Lord, because the time I shared with this lovely woman that summer will be close to my heart always! Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

For "Uncle Bro": Lord, thank you for this entertaining and supportive big brother. I haven't ever really viewed him as an uncle, it seems too distant to the love and adoration I have for his protectiveness and support. The pride he displayed for my time served at the Pentagon has touched me so much. As you know, Lord, I am a pleaser. Knowing my big brother was proud of me motivated me far beyond what anyone might know (even when he tried to get me in trouble by taking a picture behind the podium in the media room in the E ring). Thank you, Father, for my uncle!

For Aly: Lord, where did the saying "laughter is the best medicine" originate? Well, whoever created it, Aly embraced it!! Challenges from childhood couldn't weigh too heavy on my heart with Aly's Raging Barbie stories keeping me in stitches! Father, you placed an extra pinch of sugar in the mold when you created this wonderful sister of mine! Coupled with her humor, her vocal talent brings goosebumps to the surface often. Above all, Lord, she is your child and I feel not only a biological relation to Aly, but also a spiritual one through our acceptance of your Son as our Savior. Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

For Claire: Lord, what sister comforts you when you've vomited in her single size bed and you secretly think you can clean it up without her waking? Awe, you knew...it would be my precious Claire. I adore my little auntie!! Our numerous nighttime snuggles, our weekend trips to grab a bite to eat to visit, my batgirl experience during her softball games...so many memories, Father! My most cherished moment of connection with this lovely, petite blessing was in the delivery room. How magnificent to get to experience my cousin's birth!! Father, it wasn't even planned for me to be in the delivery room, but I am so thankful for plans being tossed away and witnessing my aunt's pure joy at the arrival of my cousin. Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

For Anna: Lord, thank you for my talented, determined, compassionate twin with the other powers. I am in utter awe of her perseverance and commitment to anything she sets her mind. What a role model for me throughout life! Her ability to lift spirits just with her smiles brings such warmth to my heart. I always cherish the weekend pleas for my visits so "we could make cookies" (btw, that meant Jazzy makes the cookies, while the twins taste test them) and the tug-of-wars for who gets to snuggle with Jazzy the heater (btw, I started sleeping on the floor...my arms were tired). One of my favorite memories was awaking the twins over the summer as a joke after having ridden my bike to their house. Seeing Anna's excitement of me being at their house brings tears of joy to me knowing how much I'm loved. (The joke: during one summer, I road to their town every morning...about 14 miles round trip. Periodically, I'd stop to see if anyone was awake. My grandpa was outside. After we exchanged love and hugs, we decided to play a trick. I awakened the twins and told them grandpa got up early and picked me up. The dazed looks on their faces was priceless...I think they picked me up later that day to make cookies.) Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

Father God, I want to always be mindful of your greatest commandments loving you and loving others. Lord, thank you for teaching us, it's not so much about following all these laws and rules, it's about loving each other. Thank you for placing me in the perfect family for me!

I love you.

Day of Reality

This is a circle prayer about reality, but directed toward me.

Yesterday, I faced some challenges dealing with some stuff really out of my control. Unfortunately, as much as I want to believe I can identify every variable of a situation to ward off potential issues, I cannot predict the future and need to just "let it go," like Elsa in Frozen.

Today, my family celebrated my lovely grandma's  birthday. In an effort to kill birds with stones, I asked for some advice from my aunt and uncle. I am so thankful for them helping me to see I need to "keep it real" and just let the chips fall where they may. 

My biggest regret for today:

Although my intent was to help a situation, had I been real with myself that I cannot foresee every variable, I wouldn't have lost valuable time celebrating my grandma's birthday. I'm very sorry and disappointed in myself.

Day 46: Heavenly Father, thank you for my family and their objectiveness. Thank you for reminding me through my poor judgement today lifting and trusting situations to you is truly the greatest gift I can give myself. Lord, thank you for the clarity I needed revealed to keep things real.

God, it's incredible how many times I've told others "just lift it to God, get it off your shoulders," yet I still have trouble practicing what I preach. I try to release control, release the worry, and just let you do your thing, but goodness it is so outside my comfort zone. Why is that? I know factually all I have achieved is through your great glory and mercy, so why is it out of my comfort zone? I'm a weirdo!! 

Father God, I feel embarrassed sometimes to show my emotion about situations for which I'm sadly accustomed? I don't understand why one day I can be absolutely objective and disconnected emotionally, and the next day a blubbering fool about the same situation. I know you've provided us various outlets for expression, but does it have to be through tears? Haha! Well, regardless, thank you for using my family today to bring me back to an objective evaluation of my circumstances and offering realistic solutions.

Without you working through those with whom I sought counsel, I'd probably continue trying to maintain control of a situation, potentially harming myself emotionally or financially. Thank you.

I love you.

Day of Communication

Do you think texting and instant messaging improves or inhibits communication? Do you think this technology fosters relationships? I'd love to know your view on this!!

In my humble opinion, these mediums have promoted more miscommunication, unnecessary resentment, and disjointed relationships than have fostered growth. The irony of instant communication is quite laughable!

I totally understand quick messages here and there or those updates not requiring immediate response as perfect candidates for texting. But, so much misunderstanding could be avoided if we'd at the very least pick up the phone or better yet, discuss important topics in person. Body language, inflection, and eye contact are sometimes more important than the words themselves.

Can you imagine if God answered via text? I suppose it might be cool at first knowing you're just a text away from His omnipotence. But, what if He shared with you something difficult? I'd rather stick to feeling Him in my heart than having Him at my fingertips.

Day 45: Heavenly Father, thank you for communicating to me through personal interaction versus technology. Given my use of a blog to share with you my prayers, perhaps you're laughing at me!! But, I know you are hearing my prayers before the words are even typed. Lord, I feel your presence all day as I ponder what I want to relay to you every evening. Thank you for being physically with me through your Spirit!

Father God, communucation is the key to maintaining strong, supportive, loving relationships. How can I improve my communication techniques to help alleviate misunderstanding and hurt? You know I try to avoid being reactionary, Lord; but, I falter! I want to teach my children to consider respectfully the receiver of their words to help them improve their communication. How can I do this if I am still reactionary sometimes? I pray through your teachings I may find the magic answer. I want my children to be empathetic to how someone receives their words despite the intent of their words. When the delivery and receipt don't align, Father, please help me teach my children to be humble in showing compassion to those who may be hurt by misunderstanding. Pride shouldn't have any presence in good communication, especially when someone's feelings are at stake.

Thank you for your eloquent messages delivered through Jesus Christ. His imagery provides the most vivid example of perfect forms of communication.

I love you.

Day of Anticipation

Okay, so there have been many things for which I have been hopeful over the last year: my faith, my family, my career. Finally, I think the timing might be right. First and foremost, my faith! Never in my life have I ever felt so close to God. Despite my fear of the unknown, I trusted God would place me in the right congregation, at the right time, and for His purpose. I have connected with this family in ways I never expected. I grow every week in my faith. I hear His direction loud and clear and try to avoid circumstances which may interfere with my journey. I've found opportunities to serve within the church and in the community, while strengthening my spirit. Above all, life's distractions no longer interfere with my top priority, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ!

Secondly, I used to be nervous speaking about my faith from a factual stance out of fear of not sounding inclusive. The reality, I'm speaking from my truths. Now as I interact with my family, I try to be more direct in my responses versus a bit wishy-washy. I love and trust God, no harm can come from speaking through His love.

Lastly, my career. So, yea, I make graphs for a living...I said graphs, no I don't grow grass (someone actually asked that once). I've become known as the "pretty picture" person. Can you imagine how disheartening this is when you once served in the USAF at the Pentagon? Let's just say comparing apples to oranges is not a fair comparison. However, I have been marching down a different path of late and may have positive transitions on the horizon!

God is good, folks! If you trust Him, if you lift to Him, and if you can wait patiently, miraculous things are in store!!

Day 44: Heavenly Father, thank you for your impeccable timing. Thank you for leading me at the right time and toward the right place to experience your glory in a way I may never had if I didn't trust you. 

God, please forgive me in moments where I've questioned your plan or purpose. I try to be patient, but I know my motivation comes from a lack of seeing the big picture. Lord, remind me in moments of weakness the amazing things you continue doing in our world today! Perhaps, Lord, my excited anticipation causes me to misstep, take matters into my own hands, or like Sarai, help you out (you know, just in case).

Thank you for your faithfulness toward your people, Father God! I pray my openness of faith can bridge a gap for someone feeling abandoned or wandering aimlessly through life. Thank you for your greatness!

I love you.

Source: http://keepingitpersonal.com/2012/08/anticipation/

Day of Blood

I know, the title sounds kind of morbid. Actually, this prayer is one of amazement for the young woman my daughter's "big sister" has become.

Yesterday, I was exhausted. I attended the funeral and burial service of a very close friend. It truly is a bittersweet situation as he had fought tirelessly for years succumbing to multiple surgeries and experimental treatments in an effort to have as much time on this earth with his family.

During his service, his daughter spoke of his greatness. Here's the thing, he was her stepfather! What this lovely young lady shared with the mourners provides the greatest testament to a father-daughter relationship! She stood before us and stated, "I am proof being a father has nothing to do with blood because there wasn't a drop of blood shared between me and my dad!"

Please tell me you just felt God's fantastic goose bumps!! Please tell me you can attest to such a profound statement. Please tell me you know a young woman as wise and loving as this young lady. I hope you do! I know her dad is so proud of her; I'm fortunate to have her as family.

Day 43: Heavenly Father, thank you for blessing me with the friendship of such a loving family, even if we don't share a drop of blood! Thank you for placing a wonderful, amazing young lady in my daughter's path with whom she has developed a sisterly bond. Thank you for your mercy on my friend's weary frame providing him medical support to ease into your kingdom comfortably.

Lord, I pray each person who has interacted with this compassionate young mother recognizes the pureness of her spirit and the blessing upon receipt of her uplifting smiles. Please watch over her family and friends as they continue grieving the loss of a supportive husband, loving father, and compassionate friend. 

Father God, I grieve the loss of my friend, but celebrate his life. He persevered where others may have faltered. He sacrificed where others may have squandered. He loved modestly where others may have tolerated boastfully. Thank you for reminding us through my friend blood does make a father, it just takes unconditional love!

I love you.

Day of Goose Bumps

Children's books by R.L. Stine or little bumps on your arms? Have you ever had goose bumps? Okay, right, dumb question...who hasn't! Can you think of what was happening when you felt the little hairs on your arms stand on end? Did you align with the medical explanation these are involuntary physical responses to stimuli causing muscles attached to hair follicles to contract. Makes sense, right? Do you agree?

I have an additional theory. Of course, I've experienced goose bumps when it's cold, so I won't deny there is physical stimuli which can cause a biological response. But, more often, I have experienced these spontaneous muscle contractions when I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. When I listen to a song touching the depths of my soul, I feel the little bumps. When a sermon delivers a message aligned exactly with what I'm experiencing (this happens A LOT), the little suckers pop up. When I've connected emotionally with someone, my hairs stand on end. Watching a touching video, participating in deep discussion, consoling an injured child, counseling a burdened friend, etc. are all instances I have felt God's presence physically through goose bumps. I wish I had them all the time!!!

Day 42: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing a physical response within me to KNOW your Spirit resides in my heart. I know your faithful to me daily, but without your tangible reminders, I fear I may be passive to your presence. Thank you for God bumps!

Lord, why can't we experience them all the time? Is it because the constant presence of goose bumps eventually would be explained away to simply a biological response? Is it better for us to be in a state of wondering to avoid our complacency? How may I convince a non-believer rhrough talking about their goose bumps that something more is going on within them than the obvious? 

My goodness, Father, I want my loved ones to experience the utter joy and peace I have knowing your Heavenly Counselor lives within me!! Please teach me how! I tried to come up with a parallel scientific equation to the presence of the spirit; but alas, it seems so elementary to your greatness. Here it goes (for the nonbeliever): God = Hypothesis; Jesus = Experiment; Holy Spirit = Results proving the original hypothesis true. What so you think God? I know, kinda silly.

Lord in Heaven, thank you for entertaining my questions and revealing the answers in your perfect responses. However, the answers alone aren't enough. Use me, Lord! I am ready if you think I am!

I love you.

Day of Gratitude

I want to say thank you. Thank you to my family and friends who support me, love me, and tolerate me. Thank you to my coworkers who challenge me and collaborate respectfully. Thank you to my mentors for believing in me and helping me find opportunities. Thank you to my pastors for sharing their calling with me. Thank you to my current church family and to those with whom I once worshipped. Thank you to the military for providing me the opportunity to serve such a magnificent nation. Thank you to my teachers who believed in me. Thank you to my coaches who encouraged me to work hard and persevere, no matter what the challenge. Thank you to my girls' daddies for helping me bring two beautiful young ladies into the world. Thank you to my pets for their unconditional love. Thank you to my daughters for their trust in me to guide them down a positive path.

It's incredible the many things for which to be thankful. Try to remember, you don't have to wait to talk to God only if you need something. Take a moment today to thank Him for all He's provided. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded.

Day 41: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me a life rich with blessings. I may not be wealthy, famous, or breathtaking, but I am far more fulfilled and satisfied with all you provide. The richest gems are usually hidden in the rough, thank you for requiring me to seek them out. I think it is through this discovery, I am more appreciative and attentive.

God, can you use me to help others view our amazing lives with our glasses half full? How can I be of service to you in this endeavor? Please bless me with the right words to encourage others to see the beauty of life right in front of them!

Thank you, Father God, for all you have already provided and will provide. I trust in you and am faithful to your teachings.

I love you.

Day of Loss

I received very sad news today; a dear family friend passed away this morning. I've known this family since I moved into my house and considered them a part of my own family. He was such a loving, supportive friend and I will miss him greatly. Death challenges us to think about afterlife. I don't know what my friend's views were about God, but if his time here on earth is any testament to his spiritual life, I know I'll see him again soon.

Having lost my brother a couple of months ago and now my friend, I feel pretty heavy hearted. My pain stems from knowing I can't call or text them anymore. But, that seems pretty selfish...notice I said "I can't." If I try to step away from my sadness and focus on them, there is some comfort in knowing their physical and emotional battles are finally over. They don't have to suffer physical pain, medical treatment, financial hardship, addiction demons. They are at peace. I miss them and love them, but when I weigh my loss compared to their freedom, it comforts my heart.

Day 40: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing comfort for my broken heart. Thank you for helping me see past my own personal loss and focus on the freedom my loved ones now share. Thank you for allowing me to know this earthly life is only temporary and your great paradise awaits!

Lord, my friend's family has lost a husband, father, grandfather. Please embrace them in your loving arms, calm their spirits, and lift their sorrow. Even when we know the physical battles of illness are finally over, the loss of such a beloved person is almost too much to bear. I ask for your wisdom in speaking the needed words, relaying appropriate compassion, and providing support in whatever capacity asked. 

Father God, the pain we feel at the loss of a loved one surely pales in comparison to the loss you felt when Jesus took on the sins of the whole world. However, I still pray for anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one and feels there is no way out from under their cloak of despair. Please heal their broken hearts and let them dwell in the joy of their memories.

I love you.

Day of Love

Haha! Before we get all "what does she mean?" on me, let me clarify, this prayer is after witnessing something wonderful today at the gym.

When you were younger, did you envision yourself meeting someone, falling in love, and spending the rest of your days together? Well, at least many of us girls had these dreams!! Unfortunately, nearly half of marriages end in divorce; but, on the flip side, that means half of all marriages are going strong! This brings great joy to my heart to know for some, their vows were more than just words. 

Today, as I was doing my own little triathlon (in all the wrong order because my swimsuit was frozen and had to thaw...I'm a dork), I witnessed something extraordinarily beautiful. An older couple was walking hand-in-hand on the indoor track. They were even wearing the same shade of shirts and pants. How wonderful!! After all their years together, still holding hands!!!

Upon my second divorce, I was adamant I would never put myself in a similar situation again. In my pain, I claimed "I'd rather stay at bat, than strike out." But, as the pain diminished and I really started examining God's love, I recognized God doesn't want us to be alone. He designed us to be in relationship with someone. Who knows what great things God has in store for each of us, but I know I'm getting out of His way and just trust Him, even if it's a little scary.

Day 39: Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us out of love. I am filled with an abundance of joy knowing love was your motivation for me, my family, my friends, my church, all your people. Thank you for demonstrating the amazing benefits sharing love for others can bring. 

Lord, your Son's unfettered love for the broken should be a testament that everyone deserves to be loved. Can you reach down and comfort the estranged? Can you massage the hearts of those hurting and remind them of your presence and support? Please heal their brokenhearts and rescue them from their loneliness. Father, please lead us to a place to know love does still exist for each of us.

Father God, there is too much pain and suffering in this world binding people from experiencing the love you expect us to share. How do we overcome these burdens? I pray anyone who shared my sentiment about future relationships learns how reactionary that stance is and not your expectation of us. Thank you for loving me at my highest, lowest, and all points in between. I feel your wrapped arms around my heart and know you protect your children even when we may feel we're alone.

I love you.

Day of Opportunity

When you embark on a journey such as maintaining a blog, I don't think you really know what to expect. There might be some people who anticipate massive doting fans or others who only expect family and a few friends to peruse the blog periodically. Either expectation is totally fine in my humble opinion! Surprisingly, my number one priority has been me (for those of you who know me, saying my goal has been about me may contrast with my normal stance on things...shocker!!). Perhaps, I sound selfish, but when it comes to improving my prayer life, I'm totally okay with sounding selfish!

Even though my primary goal has been to improve my relationship with God, I did have a semblance of hope that maybe my little blog could help introduce someone to God, provide someone support in his daily walks with Christ, or help someone through a challenge by way of my own experiences. I never expected this public display of my prayer life would open up so many opportunities to transform others. Holy cow!! I'm completely humbled by the warm responses I have received thus far and fall to God's amazing power to work through His children in spreading His love.

Day 38: Heavenly Father, thank you for your continued presence with me every day. Sometimes, I don't know what to say to you; sometimes, I feel a little lost. But, Father, you always know exactly what needs to be said and when. I'm thankful I shut up long enough to hear you!!

God, why did you choose me? I feel inadequate in so many ways. I'm not a biblical expert. I can't quote scripture like many others. I've made many many mistakes. I falter daily. Father, why do I get to be the one to help guide others to a better understanding of you? Why do I get this opportunity to help initiate discussions about you? How do I speak to your plan, expectation, infinite wisdom when I am so little in comparison to your magnificence? Lord, why have you bestowed me this blessing when there are an infinite number of people more educated, more compassionate, more eloquent with their speech? 

Father God, you have blessed me beyond measure! I pray this little public display of prayer benefits others as much as it has me. I am your servant and am open to all the opportunities this blog presents. Thank you for choosing me for this important task.

I love you.

Day of Children

I think it's pretty clear, I adore my children. No, those are not paid actors who let me use their pictures! After my relationship with God, my girls are the most precious relationships in my life. Whose children aren't? You'd actually be surprised!

I'm aghast at the number marriages ending in bitterness and children becoming the pawns of negotiation. It should be the exception to hear "oh, you're sitting at a sporting event with your ex? I could never do that!" This is actually the norm and it shocks me! I've gone through two divorces and in neither situation did it even occur to me to use my children to get back at their dads for some reason. In fact, I would say I probably endure extra uncomfortableness on occasion in order to ensure my girls do not feel they are pitted against either parent. I'm not trying to win brownie points here! What I am pointing out is despite all the pains and hurts from divorce, the adults are the ones parting ways, it has nothing to do with the children. Our society needs to stop using our children for agendas against another parent and learn to work together for the good of the children involved!

Day 37: Heavenly Father, thank you for ensuring my eyes were open to surrender to the needs of my children even when it meant sacrificing something for me. I am indebted to you for my maternal gene. I wonder if me being a mommy and doing things selflessly for my girls despite not having an appropriate relationship with my own mother to emulate was your plan all along.

God, please provide comfort to those with whom I care deeply who are facing the divorcee battles and agendas. Please remind them that you are the source of strength to make appropriate decisions to best fit the needs of their children. 

Lord, we need some help down here! Holy Spirit, please work within those with whom I'm concerned are stuck under the crud of resentment, anger, bitterness, jadedness, and hatred. Father in Heaven, there's an easier way; please, help them see it!! I trust in you and pray others can too!

I love you.

Day of Realness

I think many of us have concealed ourselves at one point or another. Sometimes it's out of shame, other times out of embarrassment. I know for me in the past, I've lost myself in situations, also becoming like a chameleon to the interests of others. It's ok if you want to try new things, but definitely not healthy if you are trying to appease someone out of fear of not being liked or angering someone.

This year has been a pivotal transition for me, I'm so thankful. For once, it seems I am just comfortable with me, what my priorities are, and what God expects of me. When I learn others are also being true to themselves, it brings me such joy! Be who God made you to be, not what society wants you to be! I listened to a fantastic sermon a while back. The tag line was "are you the person you're looking for is looking for." I can say proudly, I am.

Day 36: Heavenly Father, thank you for making it easy to know you. Thank you for being the center of my life and the work you're doing within me and those for whom I care deeply. 

Lord, what can I do to be a better servant for you? How can I help teach others to be less concerned about the stuff of this life and focus on loving enough to get into the next life.

Father God, I don't want to be restrained by my own fear. Please continue laying on my heart the benefits of realness and motivate me when I falter. It brings such relaxation to my spirit to know I am being all I can be for your army!

I love you.

Day of Relationship

I feel like I'm on the verge of an epiphany. I'm not quite there yet, but as I've tried to embrace what God's true expectation is of me, I'm getting this sense (thank you Holy Spirit, my counselor) I'm close to opening a door which could fundamentally transform my relationship with God and, subsequently, all my relationships.

Several sermons ago, Scott explained God's two greatest commandments: 

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV)

Of course, I've read this scripture countless times, but I'm not sure I heard it. God makes it pretty clear He wants to "do life with us!" He wants to be in relationship with us! I'd say He values relationship quite a bit, eh? 

So, here I am in life trying to follow some rules thinking somehow it will trigger this ethereal connection with God. The reality, I've been so focused on the rules, I've likely missed countless relationships in which I could feel a greater connection to God and His expectation for my life. I'm not saying, I'm gonna go hog wild sinnin' left and right as long as I am doing it in relation with others (wait, what?? 😳). What I'm saying is I'm going to use my relationships to help one another feel a genuine, loving connection with our Heavenly Father.

Day 35: Heavenly Father, thank you for this aha moment! Is this what you have been seeking all along? Have I had my priorities out of whack? Please forgive me for my blinders and countless missed opportunities.

It seems too simple, God! You are all powerful, full of wisdom, and creativity! Why don't you require us to follow some complicated schematic to fulfill your plan? Why do we complicate things? Are we products of our childhoods learning right from wrong, dos and don'ts, and we just follow this paradigm into adulthood? No wonder so many are lost!

But, Father God, you have provided us the lessons, guidance, and play-by-play all along. We've just misinterpreted. I pray I am hearing you clearly and can get out of my own way with all the self imposed restrictions in order to be one with you. My relationship with you, Father, is by far the most important in my life because everything benefits positively!

I love you.

Day of Regret

I'm not sure if this was the most appropriate title for this prayer; but, alas, it's set in stone! It gives the suggestion, I've faltered in some way and regret it in some capacity. Part of it is just that, but my response to it is this fantastic feeling of fulfilling a purpose.

I had a fantastic evening last night attending the Pacers game and trying a new restaurant. It was wonderful and I'm so happy plans worked out! Unfortunately, I got in so late, I went right to bed. I felt so guilty for not spending this dedicated time with God. Like I seem to do a lot, I started to beat myself up for missing a day and not following my myriad of self-imposed rules; but, instead what I feel is pure joy!! I love feeling this regret because it affirms for me this prayerful time is having direct impact in my life (and maybe someone else out there). How can I be too hard on myself? I hear God loud and clear and will accept this is a day of thanksgiving for feeling regret!!

Day 34: Heavenly Father, thank you for your mercy. So often, I find I'm beating myself up despite the fact you have already granted me mercy. It seems kind of arrogant of me to think I somehow should attack myself when you love me despite of myself. Lord, I know I'm not perfect, I tell my daughter all the time only Jesus was perfect. Why do I speak out of both sides of my mouth?

God, how glorious to be blessed with this opportunity to speak so candidly! I spend too much time choosing my words carefully, approaching relationships cautiously, and exhausting myself with what-ifs. Lord, I need to be trusting you...period! The only thing I want to regret, Father, is not loving you more. You've done the rest!!

I love you.

Day of Laughs

How timely God is!! Of course, today has to be the Day of Laughs after being preceded by Day of Tears. I love it!! Who said God didn't have a humorous side?!?  Have you seen a picture of a platypus?? I mean really!!

What a fantastic morning of worship!! God used His wonderful disciple to help improve understanding on the Holy Spirit. During this message, I couldn't stop giggling about something Scott said (paraphrasing): Have you heard people say they've got Jesus in their hearts? That's not Jesus, that's the Spirit. Jesus was a man. If you have a man living in your heart, you need to seek medical attention. No man should be living in your heart. You need a doctor.

Oh my, he got me in stitches and still brought around the point so clearly. That's what I love about humor, you can not only entertain people, but also you can teach them. Christianity isn't about just following a set of rules rigidly. It's how to live Heaven on earth through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, listening to God's counselor of the Holy Spirit and trusting the scripture to help make life on earth easy and fulfilling...all the while, experiencing a joy far beyond your imagination. Holy cow, sounds pretty good to me!! I'm sure if you're enjoying laughs every day, you might just be experiencing this bit of Heaven in your own life!!

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22 NIV)

Day 33: Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing me to experience joy through chuckles. Sometimes I hear people say being your follower takes the fun out of life. Lord, is it bad for me to want to respond snidely with "oh, yea, have you ever spent time with my family and friends?" 

God, you are the INVENTOR of humor, how can knowing you not be fun? Why do people believe there's this rigidity to a relationship with you? Lord, I'm baffled. So often, I've seen people who do not know you appear sad and discouraged. They lack laughter and joy. You balance out lives, Lord. You know in times of sadness, sometimes the BEST medicine truly is laughter. How can I convince others of this fact?

Father God, my children cheer my heart so regularly! Thank you so much for them. Is this your plan? Do you use children's innocence and lightheartedness to remind us to relax and laugh a little because you've got everything under control? Is that why I feel like just a big kid? My goodness I love to laugh and not get too stressed about "stuff." Can you use my lightheartedness to share your Word in a way to promote some laughs and make the point? It feels like sometimes there's only a narrow window to draw someone into a relationship with you, what better way than through some rolling on the floor laughing our buns off!!!

I love you.

Day of Tears

Don't worry, this should be positive :-)

Tears! What a fantastic physical release for a variety of emotions! Sadness, happiness, fright, humor, pain, comfort, etc...I think you get the picture. My floodgates open in pretty much any situation where I've been touched emotionally. I used to hate it because I couldn't explain always why I was crying (even claimed I had over productive tear ducts), but now I embrace those tears because I feel like they are confirmation I genuinely do care and take things to heart...even commercials ;-)

Today was no different. I had a conversation with someone in which I revealed some pretty significant hurts in my life. Of course, there were tears from the painful, vivid memories. But, so far beyond that, I was overjoyed (I'm talking like the flutter in the heart, touched beyond measure kind of joy) to be able to share these pains as they were a heavy load. By finally bringing them to light, not only did this release help me, but also it helped this person understand my apprehensiveness about a specific topic. (I am not embarrassed to share details, I just don't think they're necessary.) The point is tears can be a rewarding physical release for anything we're experiencing. It saddens me when people feel embarrassed to cry. Even He wept!!

Day 32: Heavenly Father, thank you for knowing me better than I know myself. Thank you for creating me with a physical release for all the emotions that can build up inside. I am indebted to you for this path of openness you have led me down of late. I am in awe to all the blessings I continue to receive by trusting you. It shouldn't shock me Lord, but I have to admit, it does. It's always been easy for me to tell others to trust you, but I think I've applied that all familiar intel mentality of trust, but verify when it comes to our relationship. I've felt this need to have a safety net just in case. Despite knowing you don't hold this apprehensiveness against me, I do feel ashamed. I am sorry.

Father, why does shame or embarrassment accompany tears? Your very Son wept with compassion for Mary and Martha due to Lazarus' death. He wept again for the lost people of Jerusalem. Why has society labeled tears as a sign of weakness, particularly in men? What words can I use when comforting male friends who may be fearful of embracing tears and blinded to their significant benefit?

Lord in Heaven, forgive me for tears I have caused you for my sinful behavior. Forgive me for hurting you through my behaviors and distancing from you when I seem to think I know better. Please continue bombarding me with your loving messages to help me live with tranquility and positivity. Holy cow, Father God, I'm tearing up now just thinking about the glorious riches I have experienced in this life, I may not have enough tears of joy to shed for the next one!

I love you.

Photo: http://formybeautifullove.blogspot.com/2011/05/poem-6.html?m=1