Day of Return

Wow! It's been a few months since I've posted my prayers. I've missed this forum! Where have I been you might ask? I think God might've been asking the same thing. Strangely, it wasn't as if I had some "shaking my fist" at Heaven period wondering where God was in my life. Thankfully, I know He's always present! Regrettably, it was human emotion which separated me from hearing Him and recognizing His presence.

Many things have occurred in the last few months, not particularly those one generally likes to share publicly. Of course, I tend to shy away from what the public generally does; so, in due time, I'll share some of these "what's been going on" things. In fact, as if you couldn't already figure out, I don't mind sharing my life's ups and downs; joys and sorrows; and, trials and tribulations, especially if my experiences can offer some support or connection to shared experiences. For this return prayer, however, I'm going to focus on His magnetism.

Webster's defines magnetism as "a quality that makes someone able to attract and hold the interest of other people." If we are created in God's image, why is it we step so far out of His reflection and our interest in Him appears to waver?

Think about it! God tells us to trust in Him for answers, but our human impatience seeks direction in "experts." God tells us to lean on Him for strength, but our human weakness guides us toward worldly dangers. God tells us to look to Him for direction, but our human pride and greed gravitate toward unhealthy desires. God expresses His love for us, but our human observation of what we're doing to ourselves leaves us exclaiming "what love?" All our tendencies seem to reflect the opposite of our Heavenly Father...frankly, they make me go "hmmmmm." The only conclusion I can draw is He knows within our core we will in fact be drawn back to Him and be able to reflect His image because of His grace. How awesome is that!! This is exactly how I describe parenting to my children!!

Heavenly Father, thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for your constant presence in my life even when I choose to distance myself. Thank you for your powerful magnetism fighting against my human will!

God, you are indeed amazing! Not like the "omgosh, dinner was amazing!" or "what an amazing accomplishment!" You leave me in constant wonder and surprise by your grace. There are so many times if I were you, I'd say "well, so much for that." But, you never give up. You are working constantly within my core to reconnect...to start the communication over...to refresh the "how do you dos." Thank you.

Father God, I ask for you to humble my heart. I ask for your strength to share my vulerabilities. I ask for your direction to guide those I encounter. I ask for your grace when I falter. I ask for your connection when I'm alone. Most of all, Lord, I ask for You!

I love you to pieces!!

Source: http://www.gracechatting.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/magnets-thumb.jpg

Day of Tables

This morning I awakened with that "need to flip the tables in the temple" kind of anger. If you haven't deduced from my other prayers, I'm a relatively slow to anger kind of person. Don't let me deceive you, I can certainly get angry, have been angry, and will be angered by something in the future. However, for the most part, my anger generally gets compartmentalized in order to deal with an immediate situation. Whether it be me figuring out how I'm going to move forward from a situation or how I can help comfort and support a loved one who's been wronged, I often respond as a fixer and deal with the anger later. The issue with this is when the anger surfaces, it's a little delayed, out of the blue, and doesn't seem connected to anything I'm facing at the moment.

I'm not sure what was the catalyst that brought my anger to the forefront, but it may have been a fantastic sermon delivered by our pastor Sunday. Among other things, he highlighted our call as Christians to love EVERYONE. Sure, in the big picture, I can embrace this fully and will share similarly with others. However, when I consider it at a personal level, I'm disheartened knowing I have a difficult time applying this principle toward someone who has hurt one of my children. 

My anger revolves around the pain suffered at the hands of selfishness. My anger resonates from the lack of recognition and protective reaction to the severity of a situation. My anger haunts me with painful childhood memories I'd like left in the past. My anger centers on my inability to protect my children from the evils of this world. 

Thankfully, I'm not ashamed of my anger because I don't think Jesus was ashamed of His. I think it demonstrates my passionate desire to avoid pain and injustice for me and others. However, releasing the anger appropriately can be the our turning point to or away from God. I turned to God today and shared my anger, sadness, and weakness. My human side desperately longs to react with physical harm to demonstrate the protective momma bear instinct. But, such an action might seem fulfilling in the moment, but later on would multiply my anger and sadness tenfold. Instead, I leaned on the One with whom my battles are fought. Instead, I sent my pleas toward Heaven begging for His protective intervention. Instead, I longed for His wisdom to calm my anguish and let the angry moment pass.

I beg of you friends, when you're at a point of flipping the tables, lean on our Heavenly Father for His direction and guidance. No matter how strong or right you think you are, ultimately, God's strength is greater and His rightness is perfect!! Trust Him to talk you down from the ledge of reactionary emotion.

Day 103: Heavenly Father, thank you for your constant presence. Thank you for slowing my reaction to the powerful emotion of anger to experience the benefits of paused reaction. Thank you for your wisdom, protection, and strength.

Lord, it is in these moments of raw humanness we have the opportunity to trust in your power. All too often, we think we know how to fix situations or gain some sort of vindication. The reality is we only create more chaos and dismay. I appreciate each emotion you've provided and the challenge to turn toward you when we are faced with the WWJD question. Today was an interesting one given Jesus quite literally flipped the tables in anger; however, it would seem in what may to me seem the greatest anguish, disrespecting your temple outweighs any concerns of mine.

Father God, your timing is impeccable. You spoke through Pastor Scott on Sunday to love all your creation...all of them...even the ones toward whom I may have anger. You rocked my foundation and loosened the anger I've compartmentalized. I'm still angry, Lord. But, I know through time and with your direction, this too shall pass.

Father, when your Son lay shredded and bloodied, were you angry? Did you desire vindication for your child? Did you feel sad or at a loss for what to do? In some selfish way, I hope we shared in our reactions to the harm of our children. Selfishly, it helps me feel connected to you in an unexplainable way.

I love you.

Source: http://thebiblicalinspirational.blogspot.com/2010/10/love-language-minute-handling-anger-in.html?m=1

Day of Inspiration

I've written previous prayers desiring God's work to be seen through me. You may recall I mentioned a song by JJ Weeks Band titled "Let Them See You Through Me." I'm currently on a bowling trip and getting to know some new members of our group. One girl was sharing her role in the workplace. Let me just tell you, I cried.

How often have you felt frustrated and impatient with people who may suffer reduced mental capacity? I know I have! In fact, I shamefully admit, I'd prefer to steer clear of such individuals. It's because I feel inferior to meet their needs and I'm too sensitive to let their untintentionel, but inappropriate comments roll off my back. Not this lovely woman! She works with customers with all sorts of mental illnesses and she cares for them. She takes their threats, their physical attacks, and still cares for them. She's invited one lady into her home to offer assistance and support because she knows without this one-on-one care, the lady could be in bad shape. 

This woman's patient, selfless, compassionate heart reminded me of Jesus. She's living Christ's example! She's truly letting people see God through her! What an honor to meet such a lovely woman!

Day 102: Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing such a lovely woman into my life. Thank you for touching her soul in such a way she shares your love with all your children. Thank you for letting her story touch my soul! Thank you for your Son's great lessons teaching me to love.

Lord, what a blessing to meet such an inspirational lady. I'm disappointed in myself Jesus' examples of how to love all your children don't always reach me. I am thankful you reveal the same lessons through those with whom I interact. I pray I learn from this exposure. I pray for additional patience and understanding for those who suffer mental illness. I pray I see what she sees. I pray for their care and safety. I pray for their nurturing and guidance through life.

Father God, I am thankful for this loving woman who inspires me. Thank you for creating me to be forthright, ask questions, and learn from your children.You're always revealing beautiful hearts and souls to me. Thank you. I pray I may be an inspiration to others by letting them see you through me.

I love you.

Source: http://eatmoveinspire.com/10-habits-of-being-an-inspiration/

Day of Storms

Wow, what crazy weather we've been having here in Indiana! What's it like in your neck of the woods? As with many of you, I've been discussing the forecasting and meteorology with my friends. I'm not sure what your tone was toward meteorologists and their ability to predict the weather, but mine has been pretty empathetic. I took meteorology in college and genuinely feel bad for those who have to predict what fronts and pressures will do and how slight deviations from projections can utterly change the ball game.

Life's kinda like this, isn't it? It seems we can be on a steady path, with a certain plan to follow, and a slight detour from the path can take us completely off course. I try to live my life not spending too much time trying to predict the future. Life is going to throw all sorts of curveballs, just like fluctuations of barometric pressure. If I spend too much time trying to plan for what I think will happen, often I overlook positive things right in front of me or worse, I'm completely obliterated when one of life's storms steers me off my planned course.

I challenge you to spend less time worrying about what could be and more time embracing what is! Lean on God to guide you through the storms of life...I'm pretty sure His predicting skills are far better than ours.

Day 101: Heavenly Father, thank you for guiding me through the storms in my life. Thank you for the peace of mind you bring knowing I am never alone. Thank you for allowing me to face storms and growing a closer relationship with you.

Lord, life's just plain hard. Just when we think it's all lollipops and gumdrops, liver gets thrown in the mix (btw, did you intend for people to eat liver...blech). We feel so overwhelmed by the storms, we assume we are alone and no one has ever had it so bad. But, Father, your Son faced the greatest storms of all. He demonstrated His vulnerability in the garden, but trusted your plan to the cross. I pray we speak to you with the same trust, express our questioning with the same vulnerability, and ultimately let you guide use through any storms we face to ensure we follow the path you've laid out for us. I'm in awe with your patience for us and thank you.

I love you.

Source: http://www.successandfailure.net/blog/2012/07/18/overcoming-the-storms-of-life/

Day of Need

I suppose if you've been hanging out with me over these last 100 prayers, you embrace the power of prayer. I know when I lift heartache and pains to God through prayer, He has the power to heal wounds and strengthen spirits. If you share my belief, I ask for you to do me a favor today. There are several people with whom I know are facing turmoil in their marriages. There's no need to share details, just please trust me when I say people are hurting. In fact, you may know people in your own life who are facing anguish in their marriages.

My request is if you trust God's miraculous power, share this prayer today with others. I ask us to pray together for those struggling. Let us not dwell on the causes of the marital hardships, but rather on the healing these people need from our Heavenly Father. Speaking for myself, sometimes the answer is not saving the marriage. Sometimes, the answer is healing from the pain, learning to forgive, and finding peace away from a broken path once followed. Whatever you desire to pray for those we know are hurting is between you and God. All I ask is if you do trust in His comfort and healing power, please participate in a joint prayer.

Tonight, my prayer will be reciting the words from Matt Maher's song "Lord, I Need You." Thank you.

Day 100: Heavenly Father, thank you for your healing power from heartache, painful discord, and lost love. Thank you for demonstrating your miraculous work through the most unsuspecting among us. Thank you for watching over those I care for tonight. Please provide them peace in knowing they can rely on you for comfort and healing...I want them to know they need you.

LORD, I NEED YOU (Matt Maher)

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/matt-maher/lord-i-need-you-lyrics/#uP4RULhCoZsvikIB.99

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/matt-maher/lord-i-need-you-lyrics/#uP4RULhCoZsvikIB.99

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You


I love you.

Source: mattmaherVEVO (Official Lord, I Need You video)

Day of Listening

The tone of this prayer may sound harsh, but that's not the intent. I am passionate about a key element to all relationships...listening! What has happened to our society that we don't take time to hear each other any more? I don't understand. At some point in our lives, we learned about effective listening whether at home, during school, in church, etc. We know we should open our ears and close our mouths, yet our self importance gets the best of us. We already formulate what we're going to say to each other before the other person has ever finished speaking. What kind of respect does this show the other person? What kind of message does that send to the speaker of our view of what they're saying? How does this demonstrate any care or concern for each other?

I hate speaking of my strengths (I'd rather focus on my areas of improvement) for fear of losing sight of humility. However, I will contend I'm a pretty good listener. I certainly have fallen victim to interrupting or disengaging from a conversation due to lack of interest. Yes, I have even arrogantly drawn conclusions as to what I'm going to receive (you know what the infamous "they" say about assuming...). But, for the most part, I think I'm pretty respectful to others and listen to them. Because I try to make a concerted effort to be an effective listener, I'm equally peeved when others do not listen to me. What has caused us not to respect others with our silence?

Is it technology? Has this supposed advancement left us so disengaged from real communication we have become "dumb" to the basic premise that you actually show interest in what is shared by others? Has this "me" society skewed our thinking so far as to believe only our words matter and we don't have to bother ourselves with the thoughts and opinions for others? No wonder communication is one of the overarching issues in relationships today.

If you need an example to follow, think about how God listens. Yes, a person might argue it's a one-sided conversation; He has to listen. But, I disagree wholeheartedly. God doesn't have to do anything. He could tune out our whiny, selfish pleas for trivial things we desire. He could have created us and then expected us to fend for ourselves. But, He doesn't and didn't. He listens, answers, and guides. If we already tune each other out in our human interactions, how on earth are we going to hear any of God's answers and guidance. Not to sound hateful, but people let's shut our mouths and start listening to one another!

Day 99: Heavenly Father, thank you for demonstrating not only through your own interaction with me, but also through Your Son how to be an effective listener. Thank you for answering my prayers in the past as a "verification" You are listening. Thank you for hushing my voice when I need to be opening my ears.

Lord, help us! We are making a mess of things in our relationships. For all the good I see in the world, I also witness us destroying our interactions because we fail to hear each other. I don't know if it's Satan feeding off our weakness against pride and selfishness, it's our lack of will power to withstand the urge to "prove we're the only ones worth hearing," or it's simply our laziness not wanting to be bothered with others.

Father God, what can I do? How can I help others understand what we are doing to each other? Can I teach others simply by action or is that enough? Just as your Son pointed out injustice, should I vocally call out others when they don't listen? I fear we've become such a politically correct, kumbaya, everyone gets a ribbon society, my willingness to draw others' attention (respectfully) to the need for improved listening skills will be accepted as harsh criticism and considered antagonistic. Father, if they only knew I have a genuine desire for us to be demonstrating your love in all interactions would they know my intent comes from good, not from arrogance. I ask for your wisdom and direction in this area. I fear for the success of relationships lacking effective listening. I trust and await your guidance.

I love you.

Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/104427285082262156/

Day of Overlooking

In this fast-paced world, I think we overlook some of the most beautiful reminders of God's glorious creation. Yesterday morning before work, I went on a bike ride. If the delicious crisp air wasn't enough to make me smile, I observed all sorts of awesome creature activity helping me grin ear to ear!

There was the squirrel who decided a fun game a chicken should commence as I approached him rather quickly. Thankfully, he realized my tires were a bit of a match for his furry, little body and he scampered up a tree.

I enjoyed the sight and sound of a apartment complex fountain. At closer look, there were four ducks sleeping near the base of the fountain under the arc of the water spray. I wonder if ducks sleep under the arc of waterfalls.

There were two rabbits appearing to be in deep conversation. I pondered what the topic covered. Rabbit A, "Did you see the ears on that hopper...wowza!" Rabbit B, "How could I? I was too distracted by the velour awesomeness of that coat."

I passed a robin busying herself with nest building. If I focused too heavily on getting from point A to point B, I would've missed seeing the twigs she had gathered in her beak.

Not to be outdone, a rather large turtle made an appearance along the side of the trail. He reminded me the slow and steady do end up winning in the end because they don't miss out on what's going on in their surroundings.

We all have places to go and people to see. Don't become so consumed with this busyness that you forget God created so much around us to calm nerves, anxiety, tempers, depression, etc. Maybe we need a little more of His creation and a little less of our creation.

Day 98: Heavenly Father, thank you for blessing the world with such beauty. Thank you for providing me the opportunity to take in this beauty with open eyes. Thank you for trusting me to share this reminder with anyone who is willing to "listen."

Lord, we need your intervention. We've missed something in the course of this human "advancement." Where did we transition from appreciating the little things to taking them for granted? Our attention is deflected so easily away from you. I don't get it. How can we spend so much time and energy trying to achieve some position at work, for example, as a means of defining our worth? It saddens me to witness others overlook what is right before them. The church, relationships, nature, etc were all created with love. All created for our joy and connection to you. All created for our best interest. Yet, we seem to lose sight of them all to work, work, work. 

Father God, I fear for younger professionals. I pray for bravery amongst those with more years, experience, and wisdom to plead with younger generations to remain grounded and not to overlook life right in front of them. I pray we are able to demonstrate life is defined by far more important elements than an achieved title or position. I ask for an intervention on their behalf. Some may be lost and not know how to trust you, but I trust you to use me and others to help reveal all the goodness that may be overlooked in life.

I love you.

Source: https://m.flickr.com/#/photos/freshairphotography/10191662864/

Day of Character

Life can sure throw curveballs, can't it? How we respond to those curveballs demonstrates our character! Of course, it's easy to lash out in anger spewing hateful words or retreat into a world of self pity. What's more difficult is being able to roll with the punches! This ability to not let the curveballs have a long-term, negative effect on one's demeanor not only demonstrates the epitome of respectable character, but also portrays the way God wants us to display love even to those causing harm.

I'll be the first to admit, I have to work actively in this area. As with many, my initial angst can resonate and fuel a desire to lash out against the curveballs. But, if I'm able to keep it contained long enough, there's an opportunity to calm down, go through the pros/cons of response, and consider how Jesus would want me to respond. Don't get me wrong, anger is a perfectly natural response (hello, Jesus + temple = anger). Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I don't think having anger is innately sinful. It's how we respond to such anger that gets us into trouble.

Here are a couple of examples. Say you lose your job. You're rightfully hurt and angry. You hold onto this "injustice" into your next interview. In the conversation, you're asked about previous employment. Because of the bitterness you've retained, you bad mouth your former employer. Holding on to that bitterness and anger costs you a new job. Instead, you could proclaim the past is in the past, be selectively cautious in accepting a position which may have parallel circumstances, and consider this a new opportunity.

Another example is my daughter's mature approach to her sports dilemma this season. She's not a quitter, but most kids by now would have thrown in the towel. Her coach has been less than supportive of her academics, disengages from any mentoring opportunities to improve my daughter's skills, and takes for granted the positive energy brought to the team by my daughter's support for her team. I hit a last straw moment last week from yet more snide comments from my daughter's coach regarding her academics. I told my daughter she needs to speak her mind, stand up for herself, and not let the coach be a bully. I let my anger and protection for my daughter cloud my judgement of teaching her about character and rising above. Thankfully, her maturity came out far beyond mine. She said she's not going to say anything this season. She won't quite, will cheer for her team, and be available should the coach want to sub her into a game. After the season, she'll work to improve her skills, try out next year, and let her coach witness the opportunities she's missed this year. That's character, folks! She's demonstrating God's love by not lashing out with emotion, but rather creating a calculated opportunity to show through her own behavior how athletes should interact with one another.

Day 97: Heavenly Father, thank you for placing pauses in my thoughts to gain my composure when I want to respond immediately to curveballs. Thank you for building such character in my daughter and the daily lessons I learn from her.

Lord, I ask for the Spirit to wash over my thoughts when I'm angry. I ask for the Spirit's comforting presence when I feel on the defensive. I ask for your wisdom to express my concerns objectively. I ask for refreshing reminders of Jesus' interactions with the Pharisees to emulate true character.

Father God, I am thankful for my daughter's maturity, but wish she could just enjoy being a teenager. I am in awe of her character, but wish she didn't have to experience so many situations requiring her to display wisdom beyond her years. I know you have an amazing plan for her life, but if I could ask for her shielding of some difficult situations, I would be indebted. I trust your plans for all of us and pray for your protection of my daughter from burning out before her life even really begins.

I love you.

Source: http://aheartforthehome.com/character-first-curriculum-review-give-away/

Day of Facelift

You may have noticed I've made modifications to the titles of my posts. I don't know if it was my daughter looking out for me or getting tired of listening to me worry about being "behind" in my prayer blog. Whatever the motivation, she encouraged me to simply remove the dates from the titles of my blog. It's funny how such a simple "facelift" can change your perspective. The blog is still in tact; the purpose is still genuine; but, the tracking of my posts has been modified. I was stressing. about being behind. I was stressing about the time I want to ensure I dedicate to each prayer. I was stressing about disappointing anyone out there who may be reading the posts. I think all legitimate concerns, but taking away from the primary purpose which is to spend time in prayer with God. Granted I get a huge bonus (a warm fuzzy, if you will) if I learn my blog may help someone in some way, but the primary focus is a selfish one. I want to ensure I stay true to the first prayer, having daily conversations with God.

As we've seen in society, facelifts change the visual, but can't fill the void found lying underneath the surface. This is no different with this prayer blog. Tricking my mind to not be disappointed if I haven't posted something every day is only surface; the underlying void I have been feeling can only be fulfilled through conversations with my Lord. I'm thankful my daughter made the suggestion to modify the titles because now I have no excuse for not reaching out to God.

Day 96: Heavenly Father, thank you for placing such a mature young lady in my care. Thank you for speaking through her and reminding me of my original intent. Thank you for your patience as I've worked through this journey to rejuvenate my underlying goal.

Lord, I humbly submit I have become lost in the topics, words, connection I could share with those reading my prayers. I have let my connection to this world jeopardize my daily communication with you. I worried if I didn't feel some profound thing to say, I shouldn't write anything until I did. However, that wasn't the intent. Rather, I should have been circling prayers around my need to connect with you daily in prayer. It is only through your wisdom have I been able to make connections, draw conclusions, and offer suggestions to coincide with my prayers. However, Father, I became motivated by the former, not the latter. I ask for your forgiveness.

Father God, you are awaiting my communication with you. You never leave me. You're not angered by my behavior. But, I know you are hurt by my actions. You are fully aware of my rationalizing. You are fully aware of my laziness. You are fully aware of my distractions. Yet, you still love me. How do I show my love and appreciation, by hurting you. I pray I continue to recognize the pain cause you. If I were to view you as my worldly father, it breaks my heart knowing I caused you pain. Being my Heavenly Father should be no different. Thank you for your grace and mercy.

I love you.

Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/52284045645994618/

Day of Reboot

My days are a little whack since I've been making up on missing some prayer days; forgive me for the dates. I know I'll eventually catch up, but until then, I appreciate your confused patience. On days I missed prayers, there were topics I wanted to address. One particular was rebooting.

You know how a computer can freeze up when too many actions are drawing on it's operating memory? I don't know about you, but all too often have I had to Ctrl + Alt + Delete and kill some of the applications. What a bittersweet action! On the one hand, it restarts the sucker; on the other hand, I lose valuable work. This is kind of how I got to this being behind in my prayers business. I mentioned in a previous prayer where I need to learn to say NO. In addition to this, I also need to learn sometimes a reboot is necessary, even if work is lost.

I took on too many things at one time. Not wanting to disappoint anyone (including myself), I tried to keep a happy face, but was becoming burdened with everything, even my prayer blog. My children's activities, certification classes, bible studies, and prayer blog were crashing into one another and freezing up my ability to function effectively. I felt I wasn't able to give my all to everything and started losing work (or, in this case, daily prayer posts and proper bible study preparation).

I have completed my certification classes, both my community group and bible study are complete, and my daughters' schedules will be consumed with softball at the same location. I feel I'm in the reboot mode. The chaos has slowed and with that the opportunity to selectively choose which activities I can dedicate my time. Learning to say no is an important step, but learning to reboot and redirect priorities is as well.

Day 90: Heavenly Father, thank you for not rescuing me too soon when things get a little too harried. Thank you for providing me the wisdom necessary to travel the life's crazy roads and make changes when necessary.

Lord, for those who honor Sundays as a true day of rest, I commend them. However, I worry perhaps too much is squeezed into the other six days of the week we end up on system overload. Rather than resting, I fear we may be crashing. Isn't something wrong with the modern day human if the only way to slow down is a literal system shutdown. Shouldn't we find balance in all our days so that we can make the most of each of our days? 

Father God, as a church, what do we do to bring these concerns to the attention of our fellow believers? How do you explain to the mom working two jobs to feed her family, she's working too much and will eventually crash and burn? How do we invigorate the church to sacrifice to this mom, so she may feel embraced by her community through your love and not continue trying to do it all on her own. Compel us, please Father! Lay on our hearts the burdens of others. Instill in us the necessity of community if we are ever going to be a church with the right center in priority. It is through my love for you, Heavenly Father, and the love for my neighbors that I beg for your intervention.

I love you.

Source: https://www.cpo-online.org.uk/catalogue.aspx?cat=1215

Day of Heart

I think I mentioned in a previous prayer (forgive me for the repeat, but it's a good kind of repeat) there are people who have stated in an ethereal, starry-eyed, softness that Jesus lives in their hearts. In a way, they are right in the sense that after Jesus' ascension, the Holy Spirit filled our hearts with God's eternal presence. (So, just as a reminder, if you think Jesus as the man is literally living in your heart, then a trip to the doctor may be in order.)

Knowing the Spirit is with me provides comfort; but generally speaking, I really only feel the Spirit's literal presence in those arm hairs on end moments. (As an aside similar to if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around type ponderance, if you shave your arm hair, do you still have the joy of feeling God bumps?) Back on topic. I would like to have those moments of reminding me of the Spirit's presence all the time; so, in some ways, although I'm overwhelmingly thankful, I'm envious of a neverending feeling.

Then, God answered! In my Spiritual Gifts class last week, our awesome leader, Sandra, provided the most amazing definition of God's heart. As most of us know and why it's sometimes so difficult to feel connected to our Father in the sky, God's vastness and greatness are beyond the comprehension of humans. Because He knew we could not understand and feel all that He does, He placed a piece of His heart in each of us. How does that hit your chest? For me, it's that out of breath, chest tightening, stomach collapsing feeling to think about God literally being a part of me and a part of you. Holy cow!! I don't know about you, but having a piece of God's heart and the presence of His Spirit certainly provides me that neverending feeling I've sought for some time.

Day 85: Heavenly Father, thank you for trusting me to hold a piece of your heart amongst all my brokenness. I'm humbled by your willingness to place a piece of yourself in each of us when we fall so short to your glory. Thank you for blessing Sandra with such wisdom to relay this amazing gift of yourself.

Lord, I take you for granted. You gave me life, I crave something more. You gave me your Son, my sinfulness killed Him on the cross. You gave me your Spirit, I want more than goosebumps. You gave me your heart, I surround it with impurities. Yet, Lord, you don't give up on me; your faithful to your promises; and, you protect me from myself. I am not worthy, but so thankful you don't give up.

Father God, your humble servants Sidewalk Prophets speak so closely to my desire to be one with you always. They plead for you to "make them broken." All too often, Father, we fail to call for you in all our sorrows AND joys. When we are lost, we beg for your presence; but, when things are going well, we act like it results only from our doing. I cannot ignore you during the ups and demand your presence in the downs; you are a part of me ALWAYS. Thank you for sharing a piece of you within me.

I love you.

Day of Forgiveness

Despite God's call for us to forgive those who have harmed us in some way, it's difficult, don't you think? An easier said than done type scenario! From the human perspective, there is something about forgiving someone for a transgression against us that's unsettling. I think we fear if we are still hurt by the other person's actions we can't grant forgiveness, or somehow by forgiving we're lessening the responsibility of the other person's wrongdoing. In reality, forgiveness is really about the victim.

After my second divorce, I was convinced there was no way I was ever going to be able to forgive such actions because of the damaging effects of lost trust; the pain, and anger were so prevalent. Thankfully, I realized (by way of God beating me upside the head with messages about forgiveness for a month) not being able to forgive was making me resentful, jaded, angry, and bitter. I humbly submit, none of these characteristics describe me. When I notice something about my demeanor that is really outside of the everyday Jasmine, I try to stop and take notice. Of course, I'm certainly human experiencing similar responses to painful situations like everyone else. But, if I'm the vicitim, I am more irritated that the actions of the other person have thrown my loving, positive, cheerful demeanor off-kilter. This is where ownership comes into play.

You can choose to let the anger, hurt, and resentment consume you and all future relationships or you can forgive the person proclaiming "I'm not letting the pain caused by your actions hold me back any longer." Of course, it's a gift to the other person as well, don't worry...it's okay. How many times has God granted us forgiveness, mercy, and grace when we have been so clearly undeserving? Sometimes, in order to help ourselves move forward positively, we might have to allow someone else to move forward as well. It's okay to show a little bit of God love even to the transgressor...I promise no harm will come to you.

Here is a challenge: consider one relationship for which anger, irritation, and hurt resonate when you think about the person. Objectively examine the situation. Write out the pros/cons for forgiving the person. Ask God for the wisdom to know how to forgive; for His embrace as you step outside your comfort zone; and, let God work through your pen to draft a letter to the person proclaiming your forgiveness. It's important to list out each wrong and proclaim I FORGIVE YOU! That's it! You release it! You don't have to think about all the wrongs and pains once you forgive. They no longer keep you hostage from experiencing the loving  positivity God seeks from us!

Speaking from experience here: the burdens literally weighing down your shoulders will be lifted. You don't forget what happened, but the sting of it gets a little easier. This is extremely important when divorced parents are raising children. Remember: what happened between the parents should never interfere with their mutual love for their children!

Day 81: Heavenly Father, thank you for not giving up on me when you knew it was time to forgive. Thank you for working in me to share this message of hope and reflection for others. I ask for direction to forgive the two other people in my life I still cannot bear to release the weight of their transgressions.

God, strangely, the bitterness and anger originating from hurt feel like they provide some protective shield for our already broken emotions. However, despite the initial safety we might feel in such a protective bubble, it's so fragile and eventually pops. From here, we're left vulnerable, lost, and disconnected. Save us from ourselves, Lord! Lay on our hearts the DESIRE to forgive, not just the OBLIGATION to do so. 

Father God, I pray my relationship with my ex-husband can be a testament to those who are stuck in the worldly expectations of how people should interact if they've hurt one another. Thank you for healing broken hearts and providing opportunities to show your love in all things. Without your wisdom, direction, and grace, my little one would not witness two friendly parents who can put their history aside to care for their daughter. 

Thank you for instilling changes within your people and guiding our temporary lives in this world to love you and love others.

I love you.

Source: http://acelebrationofwomen.org/2013/03/does-forgiveness-really-matter%E2%80%8F/

Day of Direction

There are countless things I love about God (you know I can ramble, so probably best to leave it at "countless"). One of my favorite things is His direction. I am a person who loves to know what is expected of me. I like being told what to do. No, no, not some "1950s, woman go make me dinner, and rub my feet" kind of demands, but rather clear cut expectations for which I can achieve and surpass (hopefully). I do well with approval and affirmation (you may recall, my love language is Words of Affirmation, so this kind of makes sense). The military was a perfect setting for me because there are clear roles, expectations, and accolades for success.

God provides two directions which go hand in hand, in my humble opinion, and my favorites. First, the two greatest commandments: love God and love others. Second, disciple making: go and make disciples. We get these all jumbled and confused when we try to analyze them "what does this mean, what does that mean." In reality, they are extremely simple, at least for me. Even in my most confused and pained moments, I never stopped loving God or blamed Him for my circumstances. Heck, I wouldn't be who I am today, without God's love working through people to guide and protect me.

Some people have asked me how do I know He exists when I can't see Him. I answer very directly: I see Him everywhere. I see Him in my children. I see Him in my family. I see Him in the beauty of nature. I see Him in the compassionate neighbor. I see Him in a volunteer. I see Him, I feel Him, and I experience Him. This leads me to the second, experiencing His love. From a secular view, I suppose some might say I've been lucky to turn out the way I have. No luck, all love!! I was given a loving family to watch over me when my mother couldn't. I was welcomed by a spiritually nurturing church fostering my understanding and demonstrating God's nonjudgmental love of His people. I was placed on paths with supportive teachers, mentors, friends, coworkers, and bosses all looking out for me in ways most people may not have the pleasure of recognizing. It's easy for me to follow the second commandment as well because I want to share with others what I have experienced first hand.

Making disciples. Of course, it sounds hypocritical for me to say "don't analyze, just do" when I'm hosting a weekly community group to learn how to make disciples. But, the concept is simple to me. Jesus was the example, He taught the disciples what to do (and what not to do), He granted them great power, and said now go and do! Powerful stuff in a pretty simple concept. We even have the map to follow, if you will. Our jobs are relatively easy, emulate what is written in the Bible. Don't fear rejection, don't fear ridicule. You've been armed with the power of God: LOVE!!

Day 78: Heavenly Father, thank you for your Son, your direction, and your grace (when I get it wrong...a lot). Thank you for your patience with me when I complicate the simple with trying to rationalize away your intent. Thank you for protecting me from myself when I really don't know what's good for me, but think I do.

God, what an amazing honor it is to be tasked with spreading your love throughout the world. Perhaps, we only connect with those in our church family or maybe in our communities. But, every interaction showing your love can be multiplied exponentially. When we are able to understand we all have a part of the body, we all have a role in order for the body to function properly, you've prepared us with clear direction, and armed us with the greatest weapon, how can we lose? I pray for those struggling to understand their purpose. May you reveal to them the value they have in your church and the role they play to share your love with others.

Father, I don't know what John Lennon believed in his heart, but you must have placed something there for him to share the song Imagine. As I ponder the words, love resonates. At first glance, it appears he's very anti-You. But, you gave us love. Lennon says "let's live as one" through love. Hmmm...seems awfully Godly to me. I pray John did join you in the great Kingdom because he might be upset to realize You worked through him to share your love for all the people. Thank you for using all of us even those for which we may be surprised.

I love you.

Source: http://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/cheating-on-yourself/

Day of Loss (Again)

I'm going to admit, the repetitive prayers about loss got to me a bit this week. Since Thanksgiving, I have lost three very dear people to me. One completely by surprise and two others who had battled health issues for years and years. The loss of my brother was shocking and still hasn't settled into my understanding. On the outside, he gave the appearance of finding a productive place in this world; but on the inside, he faced demons far too many people encounter. It's not often I cannot find the explanation or rationale in situations, but I remain perplexed by his passing, devastated by his absence, and numb to the reality (even though I made his arrangements, it's still a foreign concept to admit he's gone).

The latter deaths are bittersweet. On the one hand, I am so thankful their sufferings are over and they are finally at rest; but, on the other hand, I miss them. I miss my late night texts with my friend. He always provided me sound judgment in a loving way. He was supportive and protective, more than just a neighbor, a member of my family. As the weather continues to warm (finally), I'll be spending more time on my porch swing. I'll never swing the same. My friend, even when fighting daily aches and pains, climbed into my attic in the middle of summer to help me hang my porch swing properly. I was definitely doing it incorrectly and would've busted my bum on the first attempt swinging had it not been for his offer of assistance. They had witnessed already my bum busting on a previous occasion when I tried to use my body weight to break off the remainder of a branch...OUCH!

My father-in-law and I had an amazing connection. Perhaps, it was our shared fondness for our time in the service, the friendly banter we exchanged in support of our branches (Air Force vs. Navy; USAF always on top!), his beautifully simple view of the world and the eloquence with which he could describe what a complicated mess we've made of it, his adoration for God and never questioning God's love or presence, his unconditional love for my eldest who he embraced as his granddaughter immediately. I miss his smile (okay, and his ears!!) The last time I saw him, I kissed his forehead as I always did and told him it wasn't goodbye, but rather I'd see him soon.

I guess this prayer is a little selfish today. I'm tired. I'm not sure why people say things come in threes, but I'm hoping they're right. I beg God for a bit of a reprieve at the losses. But, then I think about more loved ones who are aging and ailing. My exhaustion due to grief pales in comparison to the sufferings of others. As much as I beg for a break, I should be trusting God for strength if it is His will to call someone else home.

Day 77: Heavenly Father, thank you for the wonderful people you have placed in my life. Thank you for releasing them from the physical bondage of sickness. Thank you for your comfort as the grieving process prolongs long past memorials and life celebrations.

God, I'm supposed to celebrate when you welcome home a loved one. I'm supposed to be joyful when their suffering ends. Why is my heart burdened by grief? Did you design us to grieve this way or do we force ourselves to bear the weight of loss? Are we so consumed with what we lose we fail to recognize what your kingdom gains? How can we find balance in this, Lord? I want to demonstrate your love and share it with the world, but how do I explain to a grieving mother why your plan involves the loss of her child and what good came from such a loss? During the funeral this week, I was reminded suffering is one way to bring us closer to you. But, what if someone is angered by you? What if someone doesn't want to listen to a scholarly explanation and would rather just live in their anger? How do I pull them out of such pain? I pray for your wisdom to know what to say, to know how to respond, and to know how to comfort those who need your love, but reject it because they blame you for their loss.

Father God, death causes such a confusing state of questioning. I don't question you and your great plan, but I question my ability to be used by you when I don't know the answers. I pray for your forgiveness if I don't hear you clearly, if I don't see you clearly, and if I don't feel you clearly. I know your Spirit is always with me and you will lead the way, but in moments of reflection, I feel inferior. Thank you for blessing me with the spiritual gifts of encouragement and wisdom; please teach me how to use them.

I love you.

Source: http://www.duoparadigms.com/2013/03/04/15-beautiful-examples-of-christianbible-verse-typography/

Day of Light

Whew! Thank you for your patience as I've caught up on my prayer posts for last week. It is rare for me to feel overwhelmed, but this week certainly got the best of me. Thankfully, I have a God-centered determination to maintain this as a daily blog (if I ended a 365-day blog with only 363 prayers, I would feel like I failed...I'd never say someone else failed, but I'm sometimes terrible with the practice what you preach). This time I spend with God discussing my day or whatever consumes my thoughts has provided me fantastic insight into my successes and failures, my joys and concerns, and my confidences and fears.

I have never felt more confident the words I share with others are divinely inspired. Sometimes, I feel like there are some people who have just not experienced God's love in a way that helps lift them from the darkness in their lives. On the outside, they make excuses and blame others for the circumstances in which they find themselves, the "it's always someone else who put me in this situation" mentality. On the inside, however, they are stuck in a dark and dreary state of loss, shame, and confusion. They may not even know they are doing this to themselves. Denial can sometimes be unintentional because it's too frightening to admit we may actually be the cause of living in such darkness.

I hope my open prayers with God can help those who are stuck in the darkness to experience a connection with someone who shared similar circumstances. I want to express myself honestly and help others realize they too can live in the light and they don't have to climb out alone. They have loved ones, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers who are ready and willing to help pull them into the light and experience a new life filled with hope and love.

Day 75: Heavenly Father, thank you for using me in such a pivotal role to comfort and support others with direct and honest discourse. Thank you for providing me a venue to connect with people across the world expanding your love of the global church. Thank you for blessing me with words to transform, words to inspire, and words to invoke analysis of our inner selves.

Lord, directness can be scary for some people to accept. We've created a world of always wanting to feel good and wanting the easy fix. What we fail to realize is we are our own worst enemies. We want change, but don't want to do the work requiring change. We want different lives, but don't want to examine ourselves identifying some of our faults may be impeding our progress. We want to be pulled out of the darkness, but can't see the outstretched arms ready to help pull us out of the depths of despair. Ultimately, Lord, we need you, but refuse to see you when you're right in front of us. Thank you for never leaving us. Thank you for being ready when we are ready. Thank you for placing positive individuals in our lives to help us connect and lean on you through them.

Father God, I cannot imagine where my life would have ended up if I didn't lean on you. I cannot relate to depression because I believe you are the greatest anti-depressant money doesn't have to buy. I cannot imagine living a life of pessimism, despair, anger, loss, or confusion. I pity those stuck in the darkness and pray I can be used as a vessel to help lead them to your light. I pray you continue protecting those who are not ready to trust in you, but use those who care about them to lead them to a positive, loving relationship with you, our wonderful Counselor.

I love you.

Day of Commitment

I speak of the successes of my children quite often. They are not perfect, certainly not; but, are any of us? However, there are fantastic lessons to be learned from their patience, determination, dedication, and perseverance. I think too often people feel like they can't learn from children because they haven't had as many life experiences, both positive and negative, as adults. I'd beg to differ. Children face all sorts of battles, sometimes being triumphant, sometimes unsuccessful. What amazes me are their responses to such battles.

My eldest is gifted; this is fact, not opinion. She achieves academically, athletically, and personally. When she sets her mind toward something, she gives it her all. She definitely struggles with the nerves awaiting the outcome and is known to catastrophize the situation a bit, but I have never witnessed her not giving her all; it's just not part of her DNA. She is a freshman and knows where she wants to attend college, what she needs to achieve academically and financially, what she will study, and ultimately, what career she desires. Not many children are prepared to make major life decisions in their freshman year of high school, but this is who she is. I wish more adults could find the confidence within them to "just do it," versus finding all the reasons why they can't or shouldn't.

Yesterday, was another example of her determination to achieve even when it wasn't something she chose to complete. She received an assignment in AP World History to research a topic; she chose Jonestown. She did the best she could with the assignment. Her teacher, impressed by the research and created documentary, encouraged her to enter the piece in the National History Day District Competition. My daughter agreed, though wasn't running around saying "look what I did." I soon learned this wasn't some competition where you submit something and hear back; she had to attend a presentation and interview with judges related to her submission. Again, she downplayed the event (it is a big deal actually), presented her documentary, comfortably shared her passion for the topic, and that was that. Then, came the judging. Perhaps, in the back of her mind she was curious how she rated against the other submissions in the category, but prior to judging, she was already determined to try again next year. Out of nine submissions in her category, my daughter's documentary received runner up....third place in her category and will be competing at the state level of competition. What a lesson of not giving up, doing the best you can, and letting the chips fall where they may!

My daughter's determination resonates in her faith. She speaks candidly, devoutly, and lovingly about Jesus Christ. Where others may be intimidated to approach complete strangers, she embraces the call of discipleship. She gets it! She sees her role in spreading the faith. She understands it's not a job for the next guy. She recognizes her interaction could be the only interaction someone has exposing them to Christianity and God's hope and love for everyone! This is how I want to be in my discipleship. I want to leave myself vulnerable knowing I've laid it all out there for others to know Him, know His glory, and most of all experience, the greatest love man has ever received!

Day 74: Heavenly Father, thank you for the lessons you relay through my children. Thank you for opening my eyes to seeing they are often far more mature than I am in my faith. Thank you for loving them, protecting them, and using them for your wonderful ministry.

I am indebted to you, Father! You could have selected anyone to raise these two girls and you chose me. I will never understand why I have the honor and privilege of guiding them through childhood and preparing them to lead others to you. I have so many flaws, Lord, I don't understand why I am so privileged when you have far more obedient followers. But, thankfully, it is with my human understanding for which I am left bewildered and trust in your greater plan and purpose. I pray I raise them as you expected and prepare them to fulfill your roles for them successfully.

Father God, I pray other parents take time to recognize the great gifts you place in their arms. I pray they value the limited time they have with their children. I ask for your wisdom in their lives to refrain from the feelings of burdens of parenting and embracing the job with gratitude and joy. I cannot imagine a greater honor than being a parent. I am saddened for parents who struggle to look beyond themselves, their wants, and their desires. Thank you for entrusting your children to me for a little while and teaching me great lessons in the process.

I love you.

Day of Patience

There is a nine year age difference between my girls. My eldest will be 15 and my youngest just 6 in a few weeks (funny, their birthdays are 6 days apart). As you can imagine, the eldest daughter has a lot going on in her life. She's academically brilliant (in fact, just received runner-up in the National History Day District competition qualifying her for state), devout Christian involved in several Christ-centered groups, high school athlete in two sports (just learned this week she was selected to play for her school's freshman/sophomore softball team), and she's a social butterfly. The youngest, however, has had a few activities here and there, most of which involved the typical toddler ballet/tap classes; but, predominately, her time is spent supporting her sister in all her varying activities.

What amazes me about this little girl is her patience! She doesn't whine and complain asking incessantly when it's time to go or when something is going to be over. She sits for hours on end in bleachers cheering on her wrestling sister. She awakens cheerfully (okay, maybe a bit of coaxing to awaken her) to cart her sister to before school events and patiently sits in her booster entertaining herself while we wait to pick up her older sister from late evening events, even on school nights. She's a go-with-the-flow kind of child! I thought I was a pretty patient individual until she came along!!

I wrote a poem for my little one the other night at the passing of her grandpa. I hope one day she will know she wasn't just a surprise, but an intentional gift from God to transform this world!

His smile full of love,

His arms full of strength.

I wonder if her Papaw,

Knew why I chose her name.

It wasn't just tradition,

Or something kinda cute.

It was the inspiration,

Of this man I love and knew.

Her middle name's Noel,

It's suits her perfectly.

She was named after her Papaw,

For courage and tenacity.

She will not understand,

Why he had to go.

But, knowing that he loved her,

Will calm the sudden blow.

Please kiss his head and 

Squeeze him tight for me.

He loves you, dear Father,

And will join you peacefully.

Day 73: Heavenly Father, thank you creating my youngest with a calm and patient demeanor. Thank you for allowing me to witness through her eyes a very real "don't sweat the small stuff" mentality. Thank you for her loving support she provides her sister and the limited complaining when she isn't center of attention.

Lord, I am incredibly indebted to you for surprising me with such a lovely little girl. Despite the doctor's advice of "it's probably not a good idea for you to get pregnant again," you brought her into my life. When the doctors likely shared the "see we told you so" thoughts when I developed blood clots just as they had warned, you protected both me and my little girl from harm. She is a special gift who brings joy to all who have interacted with her.

Father God, I ask you to watch over this precious gift. Having to break the news to her that her Papaw has joined you in Heaven was heart wrenching. When I see her cry, it's nearly too much to bear. I know you experience this all too often when your children are pained regardless of the cause. Please watch over her, Lord! She will help lead your people to unconditional love beyond any adult comprehension.

I love you.

Day of Comfort

When we learn someone is suffering from physical ailments or emotional pains, we hope for comfort and healing. Often those around us offer their thoughts, prayers, and words of support, but expect some otherworldly source to actual provide it. In fact, I'm ashamed to admit, but I've used the coined phrase "I'm praying for you," but only in the moment did I actually pray. Think for a moment when you've shared such words. Was it the standard response, a nicety if you will? Did you fully intend to pray, but failed to execute beyond saying those words? Did you genuinely spend time with God asking for His healing hand on those suffering.

This week marks another death of someone for whom I cared deeply, my former father-in-law. Regardless of the circumstances causing my divorce, my daughter's dad and I are friendly. I remain up-to-date on the ups and downs of his family as he has of mine. I'm thankful we have a mature relationship like this, if nothing more than to demonstrate to our children how to interact with others by showing God's love even when it's difficult or against human response.

I pray as this family receives an outpouring of condolences and offers of prayer, these words are genuine. I pray prayers of comfort and healing are extended to God with expectation He, in fact, can heal. The loss of a father (in my case, a grandfather who was like my father) doesn't get easier. I visit my grandfather's gravesite twice a year and ball my eyes out nearly six years later. But, with time and through God's loving hands the loss is easier to cope. 

Day 72: Heavenly Father, thank you for your love and support, comfort and healing. Thank you for always being available for our needs, but requiring us to reach to you. Thank you for your grace when we so often take you for granted and just expect this and that without putting in any work.

Lord, I pray you wrap your loving arms around this family consumed with grief at the loss of their patriarch. I know he is with you in the kingdom; what great warmth that brings to my heart. But, God, our loss of his presence is still painful. Although we should be celebrating with adoration and joy his physical battles are over and you've called your son home, but our loss of his presence is still painful. Even though without a doubt he is with you enjoying Georgia peach ice cream and sharing his orneriness, without being able to turn to watch him, our loss of his presence is still painful.

So, Father God, my plea is for comfort. Heal our despairing hearts as we mourn the loss of a compassionate, loving man. Dry our countless tears as we celebrate his life, but regret all those who did not get the pleasure of his acquaintance. Lift our bittersweet spirits as we joyously lift him to you, but desire to pull him back for one last smile, one last hug, one last kiss. Strengthen our worn bodies as the dust settles, the grieving overwhelms, and reality sets in. Despite our human grief, I am comforted to know your devoted servant trusted his life to you and ran into your arms when he was finally home.

I love you.

Day of Soul

Sorry to disappoint music lovers, this isn't about Etta James, Ray Charles, or even James Brown! This prayer is about losing yourself to worldly things. Do you ever get discouraged about making more money, having more stuff, or achieving some professional status in your career? Let's be honest, who hasn't? When over 1/3 of our day is spent working and another 1/3 sleeping, it seems like we leave ourselves with very little time for our soul. If we can't check the work stuff at the door, we let the work time takeover our soul time.

Now consider what we strive for in our daily working. We want pay raises and promotions. Again, not a bad thing. But, what if we don't get those? We could certainly sit and vent about the circumstances stacked against us, subjective reviews, and politics as I did this week. Or, we can go to work every day, do the best we can, be thankful for employment, and leave the job at the door every night knowing we fulfilled the expectations of us.

I was so discouraged after receiving my annual review on Wednesday. I am used to being one of the employees achieving high ratings and opportunities for advancement. But, this time, I received average...meets what we pay her to do...nothing much more. I was completely blown away! There were many things I've endured over the last year with management disagreements, reporting to many chiefs, using my personal time to support another unit for whom I want to work eventually, and advancing my learning through certification classes. I was down right frustrated this wasn't acknowledged and rated accordingly. But, after hearing TobyMac's Lose My Soul (of course, right in the midst of me wallowing in self pity), it dawned on me, THIS is what I'm worrying about!!! I'm worrying about this worldy thing called a job. I'm letting a subjective score change my demeanor? I'm letting one measly rating out of over 20 years of evaluations hamper my spirits.

God spoke! He's said: STOP! I'm telling you this doesn't matter. Stop letting this world tell you whether or not you have value. Stop losing yourself to anger, frustration, defeat, despair, jealousy, pride. Don't lose yourself trying to gain the whole world; you'll lose your soul in the process. I created you with a specific purpose. Spend time praying. Spend time loving. Spend time searching and seeking to please Me. If you do that, I will reward you abundantly with eternal life in my kingdom!!

Day 71: Heavenly Father, thank you for reminding me of the unnecessary burdens I place on myself when I get lost in human expectations and not your expectations. Thank you for laying out the perspective so clearly. I needed that hit me upside the head intervention to remind me what really matters.

Lord, I struggle with getting sucked into drama. I despise drama! I've turned away from several relationships because of my total disinterest in drama, particularly of the self-imposed kind. But, God, for some reason, when I'm around others who fuel the fire w/their own discontent about situations (even my situations), I can find myself easily grumbling right along with them. I'm conscious of the need to change this, but for some reason the message in my heart and mind, are twisted as words leave my mouth.

Thank you, Father God, for knowing I need firm direction in this area. I don't have interest nor do I have time for drama, most of all my very own! It's soul crushing!

I love you.

Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/23432860533684975/

Day of Kindness

If you saw me early this morning, you might say, "did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" It certainly would be a justified question. I grumbled about the bitter cold. I argued about the little one's outfit. I pouted about a missing trash and leaving bags on the snow mound, likely to freeze and fall into the ditch. I shouted at an oncoming driver who must have assumed the road was only one way and for her access only. It seemed like this was going to be one heck of a bad hair day (did I mention, I really was having a bad hair day)!

But, alas, the kindness of a stranger completely changed my demeanor. As I pulled up to pay for my "treat" coffee, I was informed the patron in front of me paid for my order. How generous!! This "pay it forward" moment changed my entire outlook on the day. I laughed at myself for the overreaction from earlier in the morning. This beautiful gesture reminded me of something extremely important, making mountains out of molehills doesn't miraculously make the molehills more important or justify our overreaction.

The rest of the day was transformed by the kindness of that stranger. I successfully completed several tasks on my list. I hugged a few of my favorite work friends (remember, I LOVE hugs). I conversed with a friend who I am thankful God has brought into my life. I exchanged friendly barbs with a friend which hopefully brightened his spirits as much as they did mine. I received positive feedback for some activities I've been tackling. I learned of my girls' continuous successes in school and shared with them how proud I am for who they are becoming. Can you believe a day which could've spiraled downhill with snarky comments, bitter exchanges, and a jaded view of the day was changed because of someone's selfless act in the Starbucks drive-thru? That's God at work!! Some people might say, "nah, that's just doing the right thing" or "nah, your morals don't come from some invisible man in the sky." But, let me ask this, if our goodness does not come from God, then what differentiates us from all the other animals in the animal kingdom?

Day 22: Heavenly Father, thank you for working through a stranger today to show your kindness, mercy, and love. Your faithfulness to know each of us intimately doesn't surprise me that Starbucks would be the location for a tangible reminder for me of your presence. Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to witness the kindness extended to me. I fear without your clarity, I may have been stuck in a selfish pity party for my molehills today.

Father, thank you for your infinite kindness. You have provided numerous messages through your Word regarding kindness toward others. Your gentleness and compassion for your people to teach us a fundamental way to foster loving relationships with each other keeps me in awe. Lord, you know I am a patient person, but my patience does where thin when I find myself repeating advice which falls on deaf ears. Yet, you mentioned at least 56 times in the Bible to be kind to one another. You could have given up on humans so many times and been justified (at least, through secular eyes). But, you didn't give up on us. Thank you for your unrelenting love for a very flawed people.

Father God, please continue working in my life to demonstrate your mercy, love, and kindness. When I feel weak, strengthen my spirit. When I feel lost, reveal your path. When I am overwhelmed, lighten my load. When I am defensive, lower my sword. Lord, please bombard me with your Spirit to share your kindness in my interactions with others.

I love you.

Day of Confidence

When you've never really struggled to perform, perhaps in academics, athletics, the arts, etc., it's disheartening when you may no longer be the best of the best. Your confidence comes under attack; which may trickle over into other areas of life unrelated to the activity. This seems quite prevalent in youth sports. At what point, do kids move from participating for the love of the game to a ruthless agenda to shut out competition, aka their peers? How do they transition from supportive teammates to looking out for number one no matter whose confidence may be trampled? Sadly, I fear adults not only encourage, but also may be instigators of such dog eat dog behavior.

For those who are naturally athletic, but hit a plateau, this is quite an adjustment. Not only must a mindset shift to accept they may not be the best players, but also the need for encouragement increases to avoid obliterating their confidence altogether. Youth should be able to lean on coaches to mentor them both on and off the field. If they can't, they may perceive themselves as not good enough and give up playing a sport they love dearly.

There's certainly a place for healthy competition; in fact, it often motivates people to improve and strive to perform the best they can. However, when competition turns to pitting people against each other, the healthy aspect disappears. I've witnessed firsthand my daughter's love for a sport diminish drastically as a result of trying to vie for starting positions. When activities once so loved become nearly a burden and the joy sucked out of them, where is the benefit? When improving for the sake of improving is checked at the door in favor of wins no matter the cost, where is the benefit? When coaches break down players to the point of them questioning their worth, what is the benefit?

Jesus Christ didn't teach us an everything goes as long as you get what's coming to you approach to life. He taught us to lift, love, and support each other. Interactions with this teaching in mind can lend to maintaining confidence in all situations, even if you're no longer the best of the best.

Day 95: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me the wisdom to guide my daughters through turbulent waters. Thank you for creating them with emotion and sensitivities which demonstrate their unselfish empathy for others. 

Lord, I lift my hands to you helpless. My daughter's confidence waivers. Her self worth diminishes with each interaction with her coach. When she should receive constructive criticism, she receives harsh rebuke. When she should receive supportive recognition, she receives resentful antagonism. When she should receive engaging mentorship, she receives confidence destroying interaction. Father, I ask for your forgiveness for my anger in this situation. I ask for you to overwhelm me with the appropriate approach to this situation to show your unyielding love when I'm not feeling quite so generous.

Father God, I ask for you to rebuild my daughter's confidence. She is your beautiful creation desiring wholeheartedly to serve you in any capacity you envision. No child should ever feel unworthy because she may not meet the expectations of one person. It is only your expectations we should strive to achieve. However, we live in this world and must be able to function effectively. I trust you can provide the needed strength to face this world with confidence.

I love you.

Day of "Even Now"

When people attend Easter service, they usually expect to hear the traditional resurrection story. I'm beyond thankful that's not what I heard this year! Our contemporary service pastor allows God to work through him regularly to deliver messages far beyond what is just the "norm." Easter service was no different!

Before you fear resurrection wasn't discussed, let me assure you, it was not only discussed, it was captured as the cornerstone of what this Christian stuff is all about, but looking through the eyes of others. When Lazarus became ill, Jesus waited two days to embark on the two day journey to reach him. Jesus knew this wait was pivotal! Upon his arrival, Mary (who had previously washed Jesus feet with her hair) was dead in discouragement. She saw no point in greeting Jesus...what could He do now? She needed a resurrection of her faith! Martha ran to meet Jesus, but was dead in the delay of His arrival. She believed with four days passed, Lazarus' spirit had departed his body and would not be able to return. She needed resurrection of her faith! Lazarus lay dead (and, as Scott pointed out, likely quite stinky) and buried. He needed, well, resurrection of his life! Jesus demonstrated even now, when hope is lost, too much time has passed, and Lazarus is gone, He can resurrect! 

Remember, even now when you feel all is lost in your family, your marriage, your health, your employment, trust in Jesus' resurrection. Even now, He can guide the way!

Day 94: Heavenly Father, thank you for continuing to work in your humble servant to deliver the messages needed, despite what may be wanted! Thank you for your constant presence regardless of death in spirit and hope.

Lord, I plead for you to reveal yourself to someone struggling tonight. She desperately needs to see even now when her world seems to be crumbling around her, You have a plan for her life far beyond what human setbacks she may face. Father, I ask for your comforting arms to embrace her, encourage her, and reveal to her what seems like a step back may actually be a pivotal leap forward in her fulfillment of your expectations for her life. Watch over her, Lord! 

Father God, I trust in your compassion, love, and wisdom. But, for many, it is so difficult not knowing your plans. It seems when we face battles, we can hardly see how they are for our benefit. I know you aren't guiding our lives as a puppet master, but I think for those who struggle to trust in the big reveal even if they can't see it can be discouraged easily and could lose sight of you. I pray you work within me and use me to help reveal to others what I see without seeing. I trust in you even now when I may not see you.

I love you.

Source: http://gotleeks.wordpress.com/2010/07/05/living-into-the-yes/