Day of Forgiveness

Despite God's call for us to forgive those who have harmed us in some way, it's difficult, don't you think? An easier said than done type scenario! From the human perspective, there is something about forgiving someone for a transgression against us that's unsettling. I think we fear if we are still hurt by the other person's actions we can't grant forgiveness, or somehow by forgiving we're lessening the responsibility of the other person's wrongdoing. In reality, forgiveness is really about the victim.

After my second divorce, I was convinced there was no way I was ever going to be able to forgive such actions because of the damaging effects of lost trust; the pain, and anger were so prevalent. Thankfully, I realized (by way of God beating me upside the head with messages about forgiveness for a month) not being able to forgive was making me resentful, jaded, angry, and bitter. I humbly submit, none of these characteristics describe me. When I notice something about my demeanor that is really outside of the everyday Jasmine, I try to stop and take notice. Of course, I'm certainly human experiencing similar responses to painful situations like everyone else. But, if I'm the vicitim, I am more irritated that the actions of the other person have thrown my loving, positive, cheerful demeanor off-kilter. This is where ownership comes into play.

You can choose to let the anger, hurt, and resentment consume you and all future relationships or you can forgive the person proclaiming "I'm not letting the pain caused by your actions hold me back any longer." Of course, it's a gift to the other person as well, don't worry...it's okay. How many times has God granted us forgiveness, mercy, and grace when we have been so clearly undeserving? Sometimes, in order to help ourselves move forward positively, we might have to allow someone else to move forward as well. It's okay to show a little bit of God love even to the transgressor...I promise no harm will come to you.

Here is a challenge: consider one relationship for which anger, irritation, and hurt resonate when you think about the person. Objectively examine the situation. Write out the pros/cons for forgiving the person. Ask God for the wisdom to know how to forgive; for His embrace as you step outside your comfort zone; and, let God work through your pen to draft a letter to the person proclaiming your forgiveness. It's important to list out each wrong and proclaim I FORGIVE YOU! That's it! You release it! You don't have to think about all the wrongs and pains once you forgive. They no longer keep you hostage from experiencing the loving  positivity God seeks from us!

Speaking from experience here: the burdens literally weighing down your shoulders will be lifted. You don't forget what happened, but the sting of it gets a little easier. This is extremely important when divorced parents are raising children. Remember: what happened between the parents should never interfere with their mutual love for their children!

Day 81: Heavenly Father, thank you for not giving up on me when you knew it was time to forgive. Thank you for working in me to share this message of hope and reflection for others. I ask for direction to forgive the two other people in my life I still cannot bear to release the weight of their transgressions.

God, strangely, the bitterness and anger originating from hurt feel like they provide some protective shield for our already broken emotions. However, despite the initial safety we might feel in such a protective bubble, it's so fragile and eventually pops. From here, we're left vulnerable, lost, and disconnected. Save us from ourselves, Lord! Lay on our hearts the DESIRE to forgive, not just the OBLIGATION to do so. 

Father God, I pray my relationship with my ex-husband can be a testament to those who are stuck in the worldly expectations of how people should interact if they've hurt one another. Thank you for healing broken hearts and providing opportunities to show your love in all things. Without your wisdom, direction, and grace, my little one would not witness two friendly parents who can put their history aside to care for their daughter. 

Thank you for instilling changes within your people and guiding our temporary lives in this world to love you and love others.

I love you.

Source: http://acelebrationofwomen.org/2013/03/does-forgiveness-really-matter%E2%80%8F/