As a response, I feel the commitments I already have made are burdensome and I resent them. I don't like resentment; it's kind of a foreign word for me, but I still experience it. The last couple of weeks revealed just how bothersome the resentment was when I started feeling this blog was a burden! Omgoodness, I cried. Seriously!! This is supposed to be my conversation with my Father in Heaven, how could that be a burden? Yet, it was!
As the last couple of weeks have moved along, they've been filled with flurry of activity. My exhaustion got to the point where I couldn't even keep my eyes open to write my daily prayers. One day ran into the next until now I'm a week behind and feeling like I've disappointed God for not spending time with Him, disappointed myself for not meeting my commitment, and disappointed others who may look forward to my daily prayer (I know there's one of you out there).
Thankfully, during a hallway discussion with a friend and my weekly community group on discipling, I was reminded of two things: 1) Don't stress about making up your prayers. If you feel compelled to catch up, do it a little at a time, there are many days left in the year to reach 365 prayers, 2) God doesn't expect you to put restrictions on yourself to read two chapters a day in the Bible or write a prayer a day for the year if all it does is show you've completed something. He wants us getting more from the Bible than just saying we've read it and more from our prayers than just checking off we said them.
Day 83: Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me despite my many misgivings. Thank you for surrounding me with lovely people reminding me to K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid). Thank you for your grace when the only energy I have is to muster the name of Jesus!
Lord, why do I struggle with pleasing others? Countless people can "just say no," why can't I? In hindsight, I can analyze myself so easily and say "you can't do everything to please everyone because when you can't fulfill your commitments, you'll disappoint those you were trying to please in the first place." It's so easy and I could counsel with such words to anyone, but arrogantly I find myself above them in some way. I fear disappointing others. I fear what others might think if I can't handle it all. I fear having to ask others to change what they expect of me. The common words, I fear! How ridiculous!!
Father God, you've shown me countless times if I trust in you, I shall not fear. I should not fear saying no if that little word allows me to spend time with you. I should not fear saying no if it provides me more time to commit fully to things for which I've volunteered. I should not fear saying no if that word releases burdens and uplifts my spirit. Please help me, Lord, to practice what I preach. Please help me to learn to say no and avoid self-imposed burdens when I'm stretched too far. Please help me remain centered on you and help me trust everything I need will fall into place.
God, I pray for friends, family, and strangers who struggle with NO. I pray they experience a glimpse of life without burden. I know it and have lived it...I need the kick to get back to it!
I love you.
Source:
http://latinopm.com/features/its-okay-to-say-no-4058
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