Day of Inspiration

I've written previous prayers desiring God's work to be seen through me. You may recall I mentioned a song by JJ Weeks Band titled "Let Them See You Through Me." I'm currently on a bowling trip and getting to know some new members of our group. One girl was sharing her role in the workplace. Let me just tell you, I cried.

How often have you felt frustrated and impatient with people who may suffer reduced mental capacity? I know I have! In fact, I shamefully admit, I'd prefer to steer clear of such individuals. It's because I feel inferior to meet their needs and I'm too sensitive to let their untintentionel, but inappropriate comments roll off my back. Not this lovely woman! She works with customers with all sorts of mental illnesses and she cares for them. She takes their threats, their physical attacks, and still cares for them. She's invited one lady into her home to offer assistance and support because she knows without this one-on-one care, the lady could be in bad shape. 

This woman's patient, selfless, compassionate heart reminded me of Jesus. She's living Christ's example! She's truly letting people see God through her! What an honor to meet such a lovely woman!

Day 102: Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing such a lovely woman into my life. Thank you for touching her soul in such a way she shares your love with all your children. Thank you for letting her story touch my soul! Thank you for your Son's great lessons teaching me to love.

Lord, what a blessing to meet such an inspirational lady. I'm disappointed in myself Jesus' examples of how to love all your children don't always reach me. I am thankful you reveal the same lessons through those with whom I interact. I pray I learn from this exposure. I pray for additional patience and understanding for those who suffer mental illness. I pray I see what she sees. I pray for their care and safety. I pray for their nurturing and guidance through life.

Father God, I am thankful for this loving woman who inspires me. Thank you for creating me to be forthright, ask questions, and learn from your children.You're always revealing beautiful hearts and souls to me. Thank you. I pray I may be an inspiration to others by letting them see you through me.

I love you.

Source: http://eatmoveinspire.com/10-habits-of-being-an-inspiration/

Day of Storms

Wow, what crazy weather we've been having here in Indiana! What's it like in your neck of the woods? As with many of you, I've been discussing the forecasting and meteorology with my friends. I'm not sure what your tone was toward meteorologists and their ability to predict the weather, but mine has been pretty empathetic. I took meteorology in college and genuinely feel bad for those who have to predict what fronts and pressures will do and how slight deviations from projections can utterly change the ball game.

Life's kinda like this, isn't it? It seems we can be on a steady path, with a certain plan to follow, and a slight detour from the path can take us completely off course. I try to live my life not spending too much time trying to predict the future. Life is going to throw all sorts of curveballs, just like fluctuations of barometric pressure. If I spend too much time trying to plan for what I think will happen, often I overlook positive things right in front of me or worse, I'm completely obliterated when one of life's storms steers me off my planned course.

I challenge you to spend less time worrying about what could be and more time embracing what is! Lean on God to guide you through the storms of life...I'm pretty sure His predicting skills are far better than ours.

Day 101: Heavenly Father, thank you for guiding me through the storms in my life. Thank you for the peace of mind you bring knowing I am never alone. Thank you for allowing me to face storms and growing a closer relationship with you.

Lord, life's just plain hard. Just when we think it's all lollipops and gumdrops, liver gets thrown in the mix (btw, did you intend for people to eat liver...blech). We feel so overwhelmed by the storms, we assume we are alone and no one has ever had it so bad. But, Father, your Son faced the greatest storms of all. He demonstrated His vulnerability in the garden, but trusted your plan to the cross. I pray we speak to you with the same trust, express our questioning with the same vulnerability, and ultimately let you guide use through any storms we face to ensure we follow the path you've laid out for us. I'm in awe with your patience for us and thank you.

I love you.

Source: http://www.successandfailure.net/blog/2012/07/18/overcoming-the-storms-of-life/

Day of Loss (Again)

I'm going to admit, the repetitive prayers about loss got to me a bit this week. Since Thanksgiving, I have lost three very dear people to me. One completely by surprise and two others who had battled health issues for years and years. The loss of my brother was shocking and still hasn't settled into my understanding. On the outside, he gave the appearance of finding a productive place in this world; but on the inside, he faced demons far too many people encounter. It's not often I cannot find the explanation or rationale in situations, but I remain perplexed by his passing, devastated by his absence, and numb to the reality (even though I made his arrangements, it's still a foreign concept to admit he's gone).

The latter deaths are bittersweet. On the one hand, I am so thankful their sufferings are over and they are finally at rest; but, on the other hand, I miss them. I miss my late night texts with my friend. He always provided me sound judgment in a loving way. He was supportive and protective, more than just a neighbor, a member of my family. As the weather continues to warm (finally), I'll be spending more time on my porch swing. I'll never swing the same. My friend, even when fighting daily aches and pains, climbed into my attic in the middle of summer to help me hang my porch swing properly. I was definitely doing it incorrectly and would've busted my bum on the first attempt swinging had it not been for his offer of assistance. They had witnessed already my bum busting on a previous occasion when I tried to use my body weight to break off the remainder of a branch...OUCH!

My father-in-law and I had an amazing connection. Perhaps, it was our shared fondness for our time in the service, the friendly banter we exchanged in support of our branches (Air Force vs. Navy; USAF always on top!), his beautifully simple view of the world and the eloquence with which he could describe what a complicated mess we've made of it, his adoration for God and never questioning God's love or presence, his unconditional love for my eldest who he embraced as his granddaughter immediately. I miss his smile (okay, and his ears!!) The last time I saw him, I kissed his forehead as I always did and told him it wasn't goodbye, but rather I'd see him soon.

I guess this prayer is a little selfish today. I'm tired. I'm not sure why people say things come in threes, but I'm hoping they're right. I beg God for a bit of a reprieve at the losses. But, then I think about more loved ones who are aging and ailing. My exhaustion due to grief pales in comparison to the sufferings of others. As much as I beg for a break, I should be trusting God for strength if it is His will to call someone else home.

Day 77: Heavenly Father, thank you for the wonderful people you have placed in my life. Thank you for releasing them from the physical bondage of sickness. Thank you for your comfort as the grieving process prolongs long past memorials and life celebrations.

God, I'm supposed to celebrate when you welcome home a loved one. I'm supposed to be joyful when their suffering ends. Why is my heart burdened by grief? Did you design us to grieve this way or do we force ourselves to bear the weight of loss? Are we so consumed with what we lose we fail to recognize what your kingdom gains? How can we find balance in this, Lord? I want to demonstrate your love and share it with the world, but how do I explain to a grieving mother why your plan involves the loss of her child and what good came from such a loss? During the funeral this week, I was reminded suffering is one way to bring us closer to you. But, what if someone is angered by you? What if someone doesn't want to listen to a scholarly explanation and would rather just live in their anger? How do I pull them out of such pain? I pray for your wisdom to know what to say, to know how to respond, and to know how to comfort those who need your love, but reject it because they blame you for their loss.

Father God, death causes such a confusing state of questioning. I don't question you and your great plan, but I question my ability to be used by you when I don't know the answers. I pray for your forgiveness if I don't hear you clearly, if I don't see you clearly, and if I don't feel you clearly. I know your Spirit is always with me and you will lead the way, but in moments of reflection, I feel inferior. Thank you for blessing me with the spiritual gifts of encouragement and wisdom; please teach me how to use them.

I love you.

Source: http://www.duoparadigms.com/2013/03/04/15-beautiful-examples-of-christianbible-verse-typography/

Day of Patience

There is a nine year age difference between my girls. My eldest will be 15 and my youngest just 6 in a few weeks (funny, their birthdays are 6 days apart). As you can imagine, the eldest daughter has a lot going on in her life. She's academically brilliant (in fact, just received runner-up in the National History Day District competition qualifying her for state), devout Christian involved in several Christ-centered groups, high school athlete in two sports (just learned this week she was selected to play for her school's freshman/sophomore softball team), and she's a social butterfly. The youngest, however, has had a few activities here and there, most of which involved the typical toddler ballet/tap classes; but, predominately, her time is spent supporting her sister in all her varying activities.

What amazes me about this little girl is her patience! She doesn't whine and complain asking incessantly when it's time to go or when something is going to be over. She sits for hours on end in bleachers cheering on her wrestling sister. She awakens cheerfully (okay, maybe a bit of coaxing to awaken her) to cart her sister to before school events and patiently sits in her booster entertaining herself while we wait to pick up her older sister from late evening events, even on school nights. She's a go-with-the-flow kind of child! I thought I was a pretty patient individual until she came along!!

I wrote a poem for my little one the other night at the passing of her grandpa. I hope one day she will know she wasn't just a surprise, but an intentional gift from God to transform this world!

His smile full of love,

His arms full of strength.

I wonder if her Papaw,

Knew why I chose her name.

It wasn't just tradition,

Or something kinda cute.

It was the inspiration,

Of this man I love and knew.

Her middle name's Noel,

It's suits her perfectly.

She was named after her Papaw,

For courage and tenacity.

She will not understand,

Why he had to go.

But, knowing that he loved her,

Will calm the sudden blow.

Please kiss his head and 

Squeeze him tight for me.

He loves you, dear Father,

And will join you peacefully.

Day 73: Heavenly Father, thank you creating my youngest with a calm and patient demeanor. Thank you for allowing me to witness through her eyes a very real "don't sweat the small stuff" mentality. Thank you for her loving support she provides her sister and the limited complaining when she isn't center of attention.

Lord, I am incredibly indebted to you for surprising me with such a lovely little girl. Despite the doctor's advice of "it's probably not a good idea for you to get pregnant again," you brought her into my life. When the doctors likely shared the "see we told you so" thoughts when I developed blood clots just as they had warned, you protected both me and my little girl from harm. She is a special gift who brings joy to all who have interacted with her.

Father God, I ask you to watch over this precious gift. Having to break the news to her that her Papaw has joined you in Heaven was heart wrenching. When I see her cry, it's nearly too much to bear. I know you experience this all too often when your children are pained regardless of the cause. Please watch over her, Lord! She will help lead your people to unconditional love beyond any adult comprehension.

I love you.

Day of Comfort

When we learn someone is suffering from physical ailments or emotional pains, we hope for comfort and healing. Often those around us offer their thoughts, prayers, and words of support, but expect some otherworldly source to actual provide it. In fact, I'm ashamed to admit, but I've used the coined phrase "I'm praying for you," but only in the moment did I actually pray. Think for a moment when you've shared such words. Was it the standard response, a nicety if you will? Did you fully intend to pray, but failed to execute beyond saying those words? Did you genuinely spend time with God asking for His healing hand on those suffering.

This week marks another death of someone for whom I cared deeply, my former father-in-law. Regardless of the circumstances causing my divorce, my daughter's dad and I are friendly. I remain up-to-date on the ups and downs of his family as he has of mine. I'm thankful we have a mature relationship like this, if nothing more than to demonstrate to our children how to interact with others by showing God's love even when it's difficult or against human response.

I pray as this family receives an outpouring of condolences and offers of prayer, these words are genuine. I pray prayers of comfort and healing are extended to God with expectation He, in fact, can heal. The loss of a father (in my case, a grandfather who was like my father) doesn't get easier. I visit my grandfather's gravesite twice a year and ball my eyes out nearly six years later. But, with time and through God's loving hands the loss is easier to cope. 

Day 72: Heavenly Father, thank you for your love and support, comfort and healing. Thank you for always being available for our needs, but requiring us to reach to you. Thank you for your grace when we so often take you for granted and just expect this and that without putting in any work.

Lord, I pray you wrap your loving arms around this family consumed with grief at the loss of their patriarch. I know he is with you in the kingdom; what great warmth that brings to my heart. But, God, our loss of his presence is still painful. Although we should be celebrating with adoration and joy his physical battles are over and you've called your son home, but our loss of his presence is still painful. Even though without a doubt he is with you enjoying Georgia peach ice cream and sharing his orneriness, without being able to turn to watch him, our loss of his presence is still painful.

So, Father God, my plea is for comfort. Heal our despairing hearts as we mourn the loss of a compassionate, loving man. Dry our countless tears as we celebrate his life, but regret all those who did not get the pleasure of his acquaintance. Lift our bittersweet spirits as we joyously lift him to you, but desire to pull him back for one last smile, one last hug, one last kiss. Strengthen our worn bodies as the dust settles, the grieving overwhelms, and reality sets in. Despite our human grief, I am comforted to know your devoted servant trusted his life to you and ran into your arms when he was finally home.

I love you.

Day of Confidence

When you've never really struggled to perform, perhaps in academics, athletics, the arts, etc., it's disheartening when you may no longer be the best of the best. Your confidence comes under attack; which may trickle over into other areas of life unrelated to the activity. This seems quite prevalent in youth sports. At what point, do kids move from participating for the love of the game to a ruthless agenda to shut out competition, aka their peers? How do they transition from supportive teammates to looking out for number one no matter whose confidence may be trampled? Sadly, I fear adults not only encourage, but also may be instigators of such dog eat dog behavior.

For those who are naturally athletic, but hit a plateau, this is quite an adjustment. Not only must a mindset shift to accept they may not be the best players, but also the need for encouragement increases to avoid obliterating their confidence altogether. Youth should be able to lean on coaches to mentor them both on and off the field. If they can't, they may perceive themselves as not good enough and give up playing a sport they love dearly.

There's certainly a place for healthy competition; in fact, it often motivates people to improve and strive to perform the best they can. However, when competition turns to pitting people against each other, the healthy aspect disappears. I've witnessed firsthand my daughter's love for a sport diminish drastically as a result of trying to vie for starting positions. When activities once so loved become nearly a burden and the joy sucked out of them, where is the benefit? When improving for the sake of improving is checked at the door in favor of wins no matter the cost, where is the benefit? When coaches break down players to the point of them questioning their worth, what is the benefit?

Jesus Christ didn't teach us an everything goes as long as you get what's coming to you approach to life. He taught us to lift, love, and support each other. Interactions with this teaching in mind can lend to maintaining confidence in all situations, even if you're no longer the best of the best.

Day 95: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me the wisdom to guide my daughters through turbulent waters. Thank you for creating them with emotion and sensitivities which demonstrate their unselfish empathy for others. 

Lord, I lift my hands to you helpless. My daughter's confidence waivers. Her self worth diminishes with each interaction with her coach. When she should receive constructive criticism, she receives harsh rebuke. When she should receive supportive recognition, she receives resentful antagonism. When she should receive engaging mentorship, she receives confidence destroying interaction. Father, I ask for your forgiveness for my anger in this situation. I ask for you to overwhelm me with the appropriate approach to this situation to show your unyielding love when I'm not feeling quite so generous.

Father God, I ask for you to rebuild my daughter's confidence. She is your beautiful creation desiring wholeheartedly to serve you in any capacity you envision. No child should ever feel unworthy because she may not meet the expectations of one person. It is only your expectations we should strive to achieve. However, we live in this world and must be able to function effectively. I trust you can provide the needed strength to face this world with confidence.

I love you.

Day of Stumbles

Everyone stumbles, makes mistakes, even sins. I know, Christians sin??? Shocking...NOT! In fact, if we cannot admit this about ourselves, yet we judge others for their stumbles, no wonder Christians often are labeled hypocrits. Over the last five weeks, I've had the opportunity to host a community group centered on The Great Commission...making disciples. I was nervous because frankly I've made so many mistakes in my life, I feared answering questions with wisdom that would promote others' desires to become and make disciples. What I learned, however, is one of the best ways to teach is through your own life experiences, sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly (sorry, Clint Eastwood). If you want to connect with people and not come across as elitist and judgmental, don't be scared to share your mistakes, your stumbles, your missteps, and even your vulnerabilities causing you to sin. As a church, we are required to lift, support, and bear the burdens of our fellow believers.

Here's the thing, sin is in our DNA. Adam and Eve's original sin partaking of the apple fundamentally transformed human DNA. Think about it, even when God attempted to cleanse the Earth by way of the great flood saving only Noah and his family, sin still resonated and displayed itself countless times (as an aside, I won't say whether or not you should see the Noah movie, but I would strongly encourage you to read the biblical depiction of the great flood in order to know the truth and not fall victim to fictional characterization). HOWEVER, even though sin is ingrained in us, this doesn't mean we are not accountable for ourselves and our choices. Being mindful of our susceptibility to sin should cause us to approach situations differently. It should cause us to understand the dangers in the choices we make. It should remind us we are not immune to the immoralities of this world and as such need to work harder to avoid succumbing to such temptations.

All that being said, God loves us regardless and grants grace. Is that not incredible?!?! For as far as we've steered away from God, He has always been present, is present, and will always be present in our lives. Reach out to Him when you stumble! Ask Him for forgiveness vocalizing an acknowledgement of knowing right from wrong in God's eyes. Ask Him for strength and wisdom to learn from your mistakes. Praise Him for loving you anyway.

Day 88: Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me anyway. Thank you for knowing I would struggle, I would falter, and I would need you. Thank you for always being present and patiently waiting for me to realize it.

God, I feel like we spend too much time hiding our faults. We deceive ourselves and others by way of deflecting attention from our own sins and call attention to others. You taught us to be a community of believers for the ups and the downs with our relationships centered on you. But, particularly during the downs, it seems these are the times when we separate and seclude ourselves from one another. Sometimes, we do this out of fear of judgement. Loving constructive criticism is essential to building relationships! If the church isn't loving and supportive to help members, but instead criticizing to turn attention away from their own misdeeds, no wonder many separate themselves. I pray we can chuck our pride, fears, and shame at the door of our relationships and trust you to lead us to healthy, supportive fellowship.

Father God, I want to be in fellowship with my church family. I want to trust those with whom I worship, study, and develop friendships. I desire the sense the fellowship found in Amish communities, where I trust the collective has my best interest at heart and they trust I have the same feelings for them. I want to help lift others through your loving encouragement and celebrate their joys of celebration. I pray through the vision and leadership of Pastor Scott, we may become a congregation similar to The Early Church. Thank you for leading and instilling this desire within me.

I love you.

Source: http://www.thankfulme.net/2014/03/april-2014-visiting-teaching-handout.html?m=1

Day of Testimony

What is your testimony? Everyone has one. It's your life story that has brought you to where you are in your faith journey. Sometimes, it's painful childhood experiences from which God has provided rescue and comfort. Other times, it's the void God has filled in a life consumed with emptiness. Whatever your testimony, if you are able to share it with others (as painful or embarrassing as it may be), lives could be transformed!

Last Thursday, I had the opportunity to hear my daughter share her testimony. I already knew the intimate details, but to hear my daughter share openly and not focus on the circumstances, but the strength, comfort, and love God provided during the extremely difficult time is inspiring. Many who have suffered similarly to my daughter (the details are not important) fall victim to hurt, anger, and shame. But, rather than remain stuck in a see of despair, she cried out to God to lift and heal her. Her trust in God provides the strength necessary to not let negativity define you, but to let your release to God transform you.

Day 86: Heavenly Father, thank you for drawing my daughter to you in her time of despair. Thank you for using her as a testament to your miraculous healing power. 

Lord, my daughter's testimony has been the catalyst needed to start some discussions with kids experiencing similar circumstances. I'm so thankful for your healing power. I pray those kids who may begin to break through the protective shield of silence will lean on you for strength and comfort. Draw them out of despair, Lord, and reveal to them your presence and support. It's challenging for children who cannot see you to know their pains can still be healed through you. As I have needed, please bombard them with your presence so they may literally feel you holding them close.

Father God, please continue your work in your people who have suffered tragedy. They may blame you. They may deny you. They may condemn you. Lord, they know not what they do. They are blinded by pessimism and disbelief. Reveal yourself to them in a convincing manner for which they know only through you could such a vision be seen. We may not always have the strength to reach you, but you do.

I love you. 

Day of Fears

Facing your fears can be overwhelming for adults, let alone children. Knowing my eldest had to face fears this week for which I can personally relate from my own childhood, brought about not only anger she endured anything remotely similar to my experiences, but also comfort my experiences lended themselves to encouraging words of support (I hope).

As you've read in other prayer posts, she's a strong, young lady and exceedingly more mature than I was at her age. But, fear is fear! Whether you're 14 or 38, we respond similarly. You feel vulnerable, unprotected, and unsafe. You're full of hurt, anxiety, and anger. This is what my darling daughter faced this week. With strength from God and an overarching call to show love even when it hurts, she's one step closer to those fears being behind her.

Day 76: Heavenly Father, thank you for your protective embrace that enveloped my daughter this week. Your presence provided a calming touch to her heightened fears and emotions. Thank you for placing her in my care and providing me the appropriate words to help comfort her spirit.

God, fear consumes us with irrational responses. It instigates reactions based often on emotion. Fear invokes a sense of urgency for response. Even in safe, protective cocoons, it jumbles our thoughts and emotions and forces us to respond to an invisible presence. It seems to get in our heads and transform fiction into factual intruders attacking our protective walls. Only through the strength and trust in your armor can we truly and finally defeat our fears. Please teach us to pick up your shield and fight the battle. When we are able to break through the mirage of attack with which fear surrounds us, we will experience a tranquility for which no demon of fear can penetrate. 

Father God, as hard as it is, I pray for you to reveal the roles and consequences of those who instill fear. Oftentimes, they are oblivious to their actions which potentially cause lasting, detrimental impact. I pity them, Lord, and ask for your revealing power to invoke honest, self evaluation which could be the pivotal point of transition in their lives. It is only through you, God, they will have integrity, ask forgiveness, and follow a new path.

I love you.

Day of Sensitivities

I'm a sensitive person. I cry often, both in joy and sorrow. I've been this way all my life. Generally speaking, it doesn't bother me. I'd like to think God created me with an extra dash of sensitive to help me be more empathetic to people's struggles. What an honor to be able to show God's love being attentive to the pains of others!

However, admittedly, on rare occasions it irritates me! Sometimes, I would like to be able to not give situations a second thought. Despite being confident the intent of my actions and words are genuinely out of love and care for others, when I'm caught off guard by a reaction I wasn't expecting, I'm lost. I am compelled to question my motives which can be downright exhausting emotionally, even though I know I try to come from a place of positivity. (I'm certainly not perfect and always growing, but I think I do an okay job in this area.) If I was able to have a more take it or leave it attitude knowing my intentions are to show God's love, I would save myself time obsessing the "what did I do or say?"

Sometimes, I just want to just let things go, but I have this desire to be liked. I'm not talking the "I wanna hang with the cool kids" kind of acceptance, but rather being the person everyone knows  through whom they can always experience God's love. It physically pains me when someone doesn't feel I've bestowed God's love to them through my words or actions.

Day 65: Heavenly Father, please help me embrace fully my sensitivities as a gift to share your love for others and not as an irritant when I just may not be someone's cup of tea. Thank you for instilling in me a desire for self evaluation and the motivation to mend relationships I may have harmed by my words or actions.

Lord, is there a balance to be found between being too sensitive and indifferent? Should a balance be sought? Is it dangerous to be too empathetic if it can be wearing emotionally? I pray for knowledge in this area and clarity for situations in which I feel an internal conflict. 

Father God, despite my temporary discomfort when things may not go as I expected they might, I am thankful you have created me this way. I want to honor and glorify you always, even if I must experience pains or turmoil to do so.

I love you.

Source: http://wwweamonreillydotcom.deviantart.com/art/The-Story-of-a-HSP-Highly-Sensitive-Person-384626930

Day of Friending

What do you seek in friendship? I found it enlightening to learn today the average adult American only has two close friends! How is that even possible? No way, right?!? Just look at the hundreds of friends found on Facebook accounts, surely this statistic is wrong...or is it?

What defines a friend for you? Would you share your deepest secrets with all your FB buddies? Would you accept honest cristicism from your FB pals (or would you "unfriend" them at their audacity of being direct even if it hurt)? Would you help strengthen these FB friends even if it took 101 attempts before your efforts came to fruition?

Now ask yourself, again, what defines a friend? Although this reality may seem disheartening, truthful and objective evaluation of friendship selection can actually help us seek and find people with whom we can surround ourselves in support, honesty, and love!

God shares many friendships in the Bible for which I believe many of us would be shocked if we witnessed today. I love how God's lessons captured for us thousands of years ago are applicable today in the world of "friend lists" and "followers!"

Day 61: Heavenly Father, thank you for reminding me the foundations of fulfilling friendships are timeless in their application! Thank you for sharing your transformative message again through our pastor today! Thank you for "friending" me, even though sometimes I "hide" you in my news feed!

Lord, I desire to be like the friends you placed in David's life! I want to stregthen and uplift my friends. I don't like it when I lose my patience if my friends need repetitive support. Please forgive me when my black and white, take it or leave it approach impairs my ability to strengthen my friends.

Father, I want to be the person with whom my friends feel comfort and trust to confide in me. Despite the burden being a confidant may present, for friends, it's an honor, not a burden! Please forgive me when I haven't made time for my friends in need or been to consumed with myself to recognize when they need me.

God, I want to be the person who displays my love directly and honestly. You know I've struggled for so long trying to avoid conflict. But, Lord, this doesn't help my friends. The greatest expression of love is to share truthful dialogue. I ask your forgiveness when my conflict, hurt feelings avoidance has caused more harm than good!

I trust you and know your biblical lessons can fundamentally transform my relationships right before my very eyes!

I love you.

(As an aside, this is my friend Mindi? Could she be any more beautiful? I think not!!!)

Day of Protection

Most people who know me would probably say I'm pretty patient and try to understand situations. But, when it comes to my daughters' comforts, the protective momma bear can strike if you're not careful.

Most people who know me also know I know what it's like to have a disinterested parent. It angers and pains me to witness my eldest experiencing even a glimpse of what disinterest from a parent feels like.

I desperately need God to work in me to find effective conversation tools to emphasize the dangers of lacking interest in your daughter's interests. With so much negativity in the world, I want to help alleviate some of life's burdens while my girls are still children because they have their entire adult lives to battle them.

Day 53: Heavenly Father, thank you for fostering a relationship of trust and comfort between me and my daughters. Thank you for making me question whether or not my desire to defend my daughter is objective or reactionary.

Lord, I know you are watching over us and I shouldn't worry, but I do. I fear my daughter will develop resentment and bitterness for experiences as a child. Please help me use the right words to build her up and help her focus on the positives of her relationship, not the negatives. 

Father God, I am so blessed to raise these two wonderful girls. They are growing into amazing young ladies who I pray will always find comfort in their relationship with you. Even though I am drawn to wanting to protect them with defensive words, I know lifting them up positively and teaching them to turn the other cheek is the best approach I can take. Please forgive me in my moments of weakness when I may react first and think later. I know you will always show me the appropriate path, I just need to pause, open my eyes, and see it.

I love you.

Day of Teamwork

When my daughter initially told me she wanted to wrestle, I was skeptical because of my preconceived notions about "those types of boys." I know, completely unfair and prejudicial, but we're talking about my first born. I'm a pretty protective momma (ashamed to admit it, but I'll be honest about my initial worries.)

Needless to say, after watching her dedication to the team, even with season ending injuries her first season, my stereotypes were quickly thwarted. Wrestling is arguably the most mentally and physically demanding sport. I no longer view them as boys and girls wrestling each other, they are all athletes on one team trying to win as a team.

Last night was a fantastic testament to this one team. Two wrestlers qualified to compete in the IHSAA state wrestling tournament. The vast majority of this one team attended the tournament to show their support for two of their teammates. What a lesson!

Can you imagine if Christians could show up as a collective beyond Sunday worship to support the one team that is the body of Christ?

Day 52: Heavenly Father, thank you for creating a daughter who steps out of her comfort zone to try something different. Thank you for breaking down my stereotype and revealing to me the many benefits of my child's chosen sport. Thank you for a coach who teaches far more than just wrestling maneuvers.

Lord, what a glorious opportunity to use this lesson about support and teamwork in our faith journeys. As your disciples, we should bond together to support your church. Your message through Pastor Scott that we have enough churches hits deep within me, Lord! Let us spend less time creating new churches when we may not see eye to eye and work to build up your church! Not the denomination, not the ceremony, not even the doctrine! I pray your believers can use your Word, the common love for you, and work as a team to build your kingdom. 

Father God, thank you for opening my eyes and letting me see, beautiful glimpses of truth from Thee!

I love you.

Day of Family

I'm sure many share this sentiment: I adore my family. We are all uniquely different and fit together perfectly to form a beautiful picture! I love the skewed lines of our technical relation. For example, even though my mom is technically the eldest sibling, I am viewed as the youngest sister. Even though the only male is technically my uncle, we all call him Bro (or, in my case, Uncle Bro...I promise all legit, no incest). Even though I am technically their niece, I grew up with the girls of "the second family" as my big sisters. Even though I'm technically cousins with their children, I'm really viewed as another aunt. I could never ask for anything more than than this beautiful, convoluted, confusing mess!!

Day 47: Heavenly Father, thank you for blessing me with a loving, supportive group of siblings! I cherish each and every memory with them and have no reason to ask you for anyone more than who you've placed in my life. Thank you for blessing my grandpa and grandma with such a big, beautiful brood who have watched over me throughout my life.

For my mother: Lord, thank you for your timing. Despite the loss I may have felt not really knowing her as a child might want to know her parent, I am thankful for the rekindling of our relationship now. Thank you for challenging me to express my pain, sorrow, joy, and protection with and for her. Hearing those words "I love you Jasmine" from my mom catch me every time. Thank you, Father, for my mother!

For Sarah: Lord, thank you for this amazing momauntsisterfriend. You have blessed her with compassion, intelligence, empathy, and protective arms for which I have often turned for advice and comfort. I hope you had a hand in my Spain trip falling through in high school, Lord, because the time I shared with this lovely woman that summer will be close to my heart always! Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

For "Uncle Bro": Lord, thank you for this entertaining and supportive big brother. I haven't ever really viewed him as an uncle, it seems too distant to the love and adoration I have for his protectiveness and support. The pride he displayed for my time served at the Pentagon has touched me so much. As you know, Lord, I am a pleaser. Knowing my big brother was proud of me motivated me far beyond what anyone might know (even when he tried to get me in trouble by taking a picture behind the podium in the media room in the E ring). Thank you, Father, for my uncle!

For Aly: Lord, where did the saying "laughter is the best medicine" originate? Well, whoever created it, Aly embraced it!! Challenges from childhood couldn't weigh too heavy on my heart with Aly's Raging Barbie stories keeping me in stitches! Father, you placed an extra pinch of sugar in the mold when you created this wonderful sister of mine! Coupled with her humor, her vocal talent brings goosebumps to the surface often. Above all, Lord, she is your child and I feel not only a biological relation to Aly, but also a spiritual one through our acceptance of your Son as our Savior. Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

For Claire: Lord, what sister comforts you when you've vomited in her single size bed and you secretly think you can clean it up without her waking? Awe, you knew...it would be my precious Claire. I adore my little auntie!! Our numerous nighttime snuggles, our weekend trips to grab a bite to eat to visit, my batgirl experience during her softball games...so many memories, Father! My most cherished moment of connection with this lovely, petite blessing was in the delivery room. How magnificent to get to experience my cousin's birth!! Father, it wasn't even planned for me to be in the delivery room, but I am so thankful for plans being tossed away and witnessing my aunt's pure joy at the arrival of my cousin. Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

For Anna: Lord, thank you for my talented, determined, compassionate twin with the other powers. I am in utter awe of her perseverance and commitment to anything she sets her mind. What a role model for me throughout life! Her ability to lift spirits just with her smiles brings such warmth to my heart. I always cherish the weekend pleas for my visits so "we could make cookies" (btw, that meant Jazzy makes the cookies, while the twins taste test them) and the tug-of-wars for who gets to snuggle with Jazzy the heater (btw, I started sleeping on the floor...my arms were tired). One of my favorite memories was awaking the twins over the summer as a joke after having ridden my bike to their house. Seeing Anna's excitement of me being at their house brings tears of joy to me knowing how much I'm loved. (The joke: during one summer, I road to their town every morning...about 14 miles round trip. Periodically, I'd stop to see if anyone was awake. My grandpa was outside. After we exchanged love and hugs, we decided to play a trick. I awakened the twins and told them grandpa got up early and picked me up. The dazed looks on their faces was priceless...I think they picked me up later that day to make cookies.) Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

Father God, I want to always be mindful of your greatest commandments loving you and loving others. Lord, thank you for teaching us, it's not so much about following all these laws and rules, it's about loving each other. Thank you for placing me in the perfect family for me!

I love you.

Day of Opportunity

When you embark on a journey such as maintaining a blog, I don't think you really know what to expect. There might be some people who anticipate massive doting fans or others who only expect family and a few friends to peruse the blog periodically. Either expectation is totally fine in my humble opinion! Surprisingly, my number one priority has been me (for those of you who know me, saying my goal has been about me may contrast with my normal stance on things...shocker!!). Perhaps, I sound selfish, but when it comes to improving my prayer life, I'm totally okay with sounding selfish!

Even though my primary goal has been to improve my relationship with God, I did have a semblance of hope that maybe my little blog could help introduce someone to God, provide someone support in his daily walks with Christ, or help someone through a challenge by way of my own experiences. I never expected this public display of my prayer life would open up so many opportunities to transform others. Holy cow!! I'm completely humbled by the warm responses I have received thus far and fall to God's amazing power to work through His children in spreading His love.

Day 38: Heavenly Father, thank you for your continued presence with me every day. Sometimes, I don't know what to say to you; sometimes, I feel a little lost. But, Father, you always know exactly what needs to be said and when. I'm thankful I shut up long enough to hear you!!

God, why did you choose me? I feel inadequate in so many ways. I'm not a biblical expert. I can't quote scripture like many others. I've made many many mistakes. I falter daily. Father, why do I get to be the one to help guide others to a better understanding of you? Why do I get this opportunity to help initiate discussions about you? How do I speak to your plan, expectation, infinite wisdom when I am so little in comparison to your magnificence? Lord, why have you bestowed me this blessing when there are an infinite number of people more educated, more compassionate, more eloquent with their speech? 

Father God, you have blessed me beyond measure! I pray this little public display of prayer benefits others as much as it has me. I am your servant and am open to all the opportunities this blog presents. Thank you for choosing me for this important task.

I love you.