Day of Return

Wow! It's been a few months since I've posted my prayers. I've missed this forum! Where have I been you might ask? I think God might've been asking the same thing. Strangely, it wasn't as if I had some "shaking my fist" at Heaven period wondering where God was in my life. Thankfully, I know He's always present! Regrettably, it was human emotion which separated me from hearing Him and recognizing His presence.

Many things have occurred in the last few months, not particularly those one generally likes to share publicly. Of course, I tend to shy away from what the public generally does; so, in due time, I'll share some of these "what's been going on" things. In fact, as if you couldn't already figure out, I don't mind sharing my life's ups and downs; joys and sorrows; and, trials and tribulations, especially if my experiences can offer some support or connection to shared experiences. For this return prayer, however, I'm going to focus on His magnetism.

Webster's defines magnetism as "a quality that makes someone able to attract and hold the interest of other people." If we are created in God's image, why is it we step so far out of His reflection and our interest in Him appears to waver?

Think about it! God tells us to trust in Him for answers, but our human impatience seeks direction in "experts." God tells us to lean on Him for strength, but our human weakness guides us toward worldly dangers. God tells us to look to Him for direction, but our human pride and greed gravitate toward unhealthy desires. God expresses His love for us, but our human observation of what we're doing to ourselves leaves us exclaiming "what love?" All our tendencies seem to reflect the opposite of our Heavenly Father...frankly, they make me go "hmmmmm." The only conclusion I can draw is He knows within our core we will in fact be drawn back to Him and be able to reflect His image because of His grace. How awesome is that!! This is exactly how I describe parenting to my children!!

Heavenly Father, thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for your constant presence in my life even when I choose to distance myself. Thank you for your powerful magnetism fighting against my human will!

God, you are indeed amazing! Not like the "omgosh, dinner was amazing!" or "what an amazing accomplishment!" You leave me in constant wonder and surprise by your grace. There are so many times if I were you, I'd say "well, so much for that." But, you never give up. You are working constantly within my core to reconnect...to start the communication over...to refresh the "how do you dos." Thank you.

Father God, I ask for you to humble my heart. I ask for your strength to share my vulerabilities. I ask for your direction to guide those I encounter. I ask for your grace when I falter. I ask for your connection when I'm alone. Most of all, Lord, I ask for You!

I love you to pieces!!

Source: http://www.gracechatting.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/magnets-thumb.jpg

Day of Inspiration

I've written previous prayers desiring God's work to be seen through me. You may recall I mentioned a song by JJ Weeks Band titled "Let Them See You Through Me." I'm currently on a bowling trip and getting to know some new members of our group. One girl was sharing her role in the workplace. Let me just tell you, I cried.

How often have you felt frustrated and impatient with people who may suffer reduced mental capacity? I know I have! In fact, I shamefully admit, I'd prefer to steer clear of such individuals. It's because I feel inferior to meet their needs and I'm too sensitive to let their untintentionel, but inappropriate comments roll off my back. Not this lovely woman! She works with customers with all sorts of mental illnesses and she cares for them. She takes their threats, their physical attacks, and still cares for them. She's invited one lady into her home to offer assistance and support because she knows without this one-on-one care, the lady could be in bad shape. 

This woman's patient, selfless, compassionate heart reminded me of Jesus. She's living Christ's example! She's truly letting people see God through her! What an honor to meet such a lovely woman!

Day 102: Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing such a lovely woman into my life. Thank you for touching her soul in such a way she shares your love with all your children. Thank you for letting her story touch my soul! Thank you for your Son's great lessons teaching me to love.

Lord, what a blessing to meet such an inspirational lady. I'm disappointed in myself Jesus' examples of how to love all your children don't always reach me. I am thankful you reveal the same lessons through those with whom I interact. I pray I learn from this exposure. I pray for additional patience and understanding for those who suffer mental illness. I pray I see what she sees. I pray for their care and safety. I pray for their nurturing and guidance through life.

Father God, I am thankful for this loving woman who inspires me. Thank you for creating me to be forthright, ask questions, and learn from your children.You're always revealing beautiful hearts and souls to me. Thank you. I pray I may be an inspiration to others by letting them see you through me.

I love you.

Source: http://eatmoveinspire.com/10-habits-of-being-an-inspiration/

Day of Character

Life can sure throw curveballs, can't it? How we respond to those curveballs demonstrates our character! Of course, it's easy to lash out in anger spewing hateful words or retreat into a world of self pity. What's more difficult is being able to roll with the punches! This ability to not let the curveballs have a long-term, negative effect on one's demeanor not only demonstrates the epitome of respectable character, but also portrays the way God wants us to display love even to those causing harm.

I'll be the first to admit, I have to work actively in this area. As with many, my initial angst can resonate and fuel a desire to lash out against the curveballs. But, if I'm able to keep it contained long enough, there's an opportunity to calm down, go through the pros/cons of response, and consider how Jesus would want me to respond. Don't get me wrong, anger is a perfectly natural response (hello, Jesus + temple = anger). Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I don't think having anger is innately sinful. It's how we respond to such anger that gets us into trouble.

Here are a couple of examples. Say you lose your job. You're rightfully hurt and angry. You hold onto this "injustice" into your next interview. In the conversation, you're asked about previous employment. Because of the bitterness you've retained, you bad mouth your former employer. Holding on to that bitterness and anger costs you a new job. Instead, you could proclaim the past is in the past, be selectively cautious in accepting a position which may have parallel circumstances, and consider this a new opportunity.

Another example is my daughter's mature approach to her sports dilemma this season. She's not a quitter, but most kids by now would have thrown in the towel. Her coach has been less than supportive of her academics, disengages from any mentoring opportunities to improve my daughter's skills, and takes for granted the positive energy brought to the team by my daughter's support for her team. I hit a last straw moment last week from yet more snide comments from my daughter's coach regarding her academics. I told my daughter she needs to speak her mind, stand up for herself, and not let the coach be a bully. I let my anger and protection for my daughter cloud my judgement of teaching her about character and rising above. Thankfully, her maturity came out far beyond mine. She said she's not going to say anything this season. She won't quite, will cheer for her team, and be available should the coach want to sub her into a game. After the season, she'll work to improve her skills, try out next year, and let her coach witness the opportunities she's missed this year. That's character, folks! She's demonstrating God's love by not lashing out with emotion, but rather creating a calculated opportunity to show through her own behavior how athletes should interact with one another.

Day 97: Heavenly Father, thank you for placing pauses in my thoughts to gain my composure when I want to respond immediately to curveballs. Thank you for building such character in my daughter and the daily lessons I learn from her.

Lord, I ask for the Spirit to wash over my thoughts when I'm angry. I ask for the Spirit's comforting presence when I feel on the defensive. I ask for your wisdom to express my concerns objectively. I ask for refreshing reminders of Jesus' interactions with the Pharisees to emulate true character.

Father God, I am thankful for my daughter's maturity, but wish she could just enjoy being a teenager. I am in awe of her character, but wish she didn't have to experience so many situations requiring her to display wisdom beyond her years. I know you have an amazing plan for her life, but if I could ask for her shielding of some difficult situations, I would be indebted. I trust your plans for all of us and pray for your protection of my daughter from burning out before her life even really begins.

I love you.

Source: http://aheartforthehome.com/character-first-curriculum-review-give-away/

Day of Commitment

I speak of the successes of my children quite often. They are not perfect, certainly not; but, are any of us? However, there are fantastic lessons to be learned from their patience, determination, dedication, and perseverance. I think too often people feel like they can't learn from children because they haven't had as many life experiences, both positive and negative, as adults. I'd beg to differ. Children face all sorts of battles, sometimes being triumphant, sometimes unsuccessful. What amazes me are their responses to such battles.

My eldest is gifted; this is fact, not opinion. She achieves academically, athletically, and personally. When she sets her mind toward something, she gives it her all. She definitely struggles with the nerves awaiting the outcome and is known to catastrophize the situation a bit, but I have never witnessed her not giving her all; it's just not part of her DNA. She is a freshman and knows where she wants to attend college, what she needs to achieve academically and financially, what she will study, and ultimately, what career she desires. Not many children are prepared to make major life decisions in their freshman year of high school, but this is who she is. I wish more adults could find the confidence within them to "just do it," versus finding all the reasons why they can't or shouldn't.

Yesterday, was another example of her determination to achieve even when it wasn't something she chose to complete. She received an assignment in AP World History to research a topic; she chose Jonestown. She did the best she could with the assignment. Her teacher, impressed by the research and created documentary, encouraged her to enter the piece in the National History Day District Competition. My daughter agreed, though wasn't running around saying "look what I did." I soon learned this wasn't some competition where you submit something and hear back; she had to attend a presentation and interview with judges related to her submission. Again, she downplayed the event (it is a big deal actually), presented her documentary, comfortably shared her passion for the topic, and that was that. Then, came the judging. Perhaps, in the back of her mind she was curious how she rated against the other submissions in the category, but prior to judging, she was already determined to try again next year. Out of nine submissions in her category, my daughter's documentary received runner up....third place in her category and will be competing at the state level of competition. What a lesson of not giving up, doing the best you can, and letting the chips fall where they may!

My daughter's determination resonates in her faith. She speaks candidly, devoutly, and lovingly about Jesus Christ. Where others may be intimidated to approach complete strangers, she embraces the call of discipleship. She gets it! She sees her role in spreading the faith. She understands it's not a job for the next guy. She recognizes her interaction could be the only interaction someone has exposing them to Christianity and God's hope and love for everyone! This is how I want to be in my discipleship. I want to leave myself vulnerable knowing I've laid it all out there for others to know Him, know His glory, and most of all experience, the greatest love man has ever received!

Day 74: Heavenly Father, thank you for the lessons you relay through my children. Thank you for opening my eyes to seeing they are often far more mature than I am in my faith. Thank you for loving them, protecting them, and using them for your wonderful ministry.

I am indebted to you, Father! You could have selected anyone to raise these two girls and you chose me. I will never understand why I have the honor and privilege of guiding them through childhood and preparing them to lead others to you. I have so many flaws, Lord, I don't understand why I am so privileged when you have far more obedient followers. But, thankfully, it is with my human understanding for which I am left bewildered and trust in your greater plan and purpose. I pray I raise them as you expected and prepare them to fulfill your roles for them successfully.

Father God, I pray other parents take time to recognize the great gifts you place in their arms. I pray they value the limited time they have with their children. I ask for your wisdom in their lives to refrain from the feelings of burdens of parenting and embracing the job with gratitude and joy. I cannot imagine a greater honor than being a parent. I am saddened for parents who struggle to look beyond themselves, their wants, and their desires. Thank you for entrusting your children to me for a little while and teaching me great lessons in the process.

I love you.

Day of Patience

There is a nine year age difference between my girls. My eldest will be 15 and my youngest just 6 in a few weeks (funny, their birthdays are 6 days apart). As you can imagine, the eldest daughter has a lot going on in her life. She's academically brilliant (in fact, just received runner-up in the National History Day District competition qualifying her for state), devout Christian involved in several Christ-centered groups, high school athlete in two sports (just learned this week she was selected to play for her school's freshman/sophomore softball team), and she's a social butterfly. The youngest, however, has had a few activities here and there, most of which involved the typical toddler ballet/tap classes; but, predominately, her time is spent supporting her sister in all her varying activities.

What amazes me about this little girl is her patience! She doesn't whine and complain asking incessantly when it's time to go or when something is going to be over. She sits for hours on end in bleachers cheering on her wrestling sister. She awakens cheerfully (okay, maybe a bit of coaxing to awaken her) to cart her sister to before school events and patiently sits in her booster entertaining herself while we wait to pick up her older sister from late evening events, even on school nights. She's a go-with-the-flow kind of child! I thought I was a pretty patient individual until she came along!!

I wrote a poem for my little one the other night at the passing of her grandpa. I hope one day she will know she wasn't just a surprise, but an intentional gift from God to transform this world!

His smile full of love,

His arms full of strength.

I wonder if her Papaw,

Knew why I chose her name.

It wasn't just tradition,

Or something kinda cute.

It was the inspiration,

Of this man I love and knew.

Her middle name's Noel,

It's suits her perfectly.

She was named after her Papaw,

For courage and tenacity.

She will not understand,

Why he had to go.

But, knowing that he loved her,

Will calm the sudden blow.

Please kiss his head and 

Squeeze him tight for me.

He loves you, dear Father,

And will join you peacefully.

Day 73: Heavenly Father, thank you creating my youngest with a calm and patient demeanor. Thank you for allowing me to witness through her eyes a very real "don't sweat the small stuff" mentality. Thank you for her loving support she provides her sister and the limited complaining when she isn't center of attention.

Lord, I am incredibly indebted to you for surprising me with such a lovely little girl. Despite the doctor's advice of "it's probably not a good idea for you to get pregnant again," you brought her into my life. When the doctors likely shared the "see we told you so" thoughts when I developed blood clots just as they had warned, you protected both me and my little girl from harm. She is a special gift who brings joy to all who have interacted with her.

Father God, I ask you to watch over this precious gift. Having to break the news to her that her Papaw has joined you in Heaven was heart wrenching. When I see her cry, it's nearly too much to bear. I know you experience this all too often when your children are pained regardless of the cause. Please watch over her, Lord! She will help lead your people to unconditional love beyond any adult comprehension.

I love you.

Day of Friending

What do you seek in friendship? I found it enlightening to learn today the average adult American only has two close friends! How is that even possible? No way, right?!? Just look at the hundreds of friends found on Facebook accounts, surely this statistic is wrong...or is it?

What defines a friend for you? Would you share your deepest secrets with all your FB buddies? Would you accept honest cristicism from your FB pals (or would you "unfriend" them at their audacity of being direct even if it hurt)? Would you help strengthen these FB friends even if it took 101 attempts before your efforts came to fruition?

Now ask yourself, again, what defines a friend? Although this reality may seem disheartening, truthful and objective evaluation of friendship selection can actually help us seek and find people with whom we can surround ourselves in support, honesty, and love!

God shares many friendships in the Bible for which I believe many of us would be shocked if we witnessed today. I love how God's lessons captured for us thousands of years ago are applicable today in the world of "friend lists" and "followers!"

Day 61: Heavenly Father, thank you for reminding me the foundations of fulfilling friendships are timeless in their application! Thank you for sharing your transformative message again through our pastor today! Thank you for "friending" me, even though sometimes I "hide" you in my news feed!

Lord, I desire to be like the friends you placed in David's life! I want to stregthen and uplift my friends. I don't like it when I lose my patience if my friends need repetitive support. Please forgive me when my black and white, take it or leave it approach impairs my ability to strengthen my friends.

Father, I want to be the person with whom my friends feel comfort and trust to confide in me. Despite the burden being a confidant may present, for friends, it's an honor, not a burden! Please forgive me when I haven't made time for my friends in need or been to consumed with myself to recognize when they need me.

God, I want to be the person who displays my love directly and honestly. You know I've struggled for so long trying to avoid conflict. But, Lord, this doesn't help my friends. The greatest expression of love is to share truthful dialogue. I ask your forgiveness when my conflict, hurt feelings avoidance has caused more harm than good!

I trust you and know your biblical lessons can fundamentally transform my relationships right before my very eyes!

I love you.

(As an aside, this is my friend Mindi? Could she be any more beautiful? I think not!!!)

Day of Protection

Most people who know me would probably say I'm pretty patient and try to understand situations. But, when it comes to my daughters' comforts, the protective momma bear can strike if you're not careful.

Most people who know me also know I know what it's like to have a disinterested parent. It angers and pains me to witness my eldest experiencing even a glimpse of what disinterest from a parent feels like.

I desperately need God to work in me to find effective conversation tools to emphasize the dangers of lacking interest in your daughter's interests. With so much negativity in the world, I want to help alleviate some of life's burdens while my girls are still children because they have their entire adult lives to battle them.

Day 53: Heavenly Father, thank you for fostering a relationship of trust and comfort between me and my daughters. Thank you for making me question whether or not my desire to defend my daughter is objective or reactionary.

Lord, I know you are watching over us and I shouldn't worry, but I do. I fear my daughter will develop resentment and bitterness for experiences as a child. Please help me use the right words to build her up and help her focus on the positives of her relationship, not the negatives. 

Father God, I am so blessed to raise these two wonderful girls. They are growing into amazing young ladies who I pray will always find comfort in their relationship with you. Even though I am drawn to wanting to protect them with defensive words, I know lifting them up positively and teaching them to turn the other cheek is the best approach I can take. Please forgive me in my moments of weakness when I may react first and think later. I know you will always show me the appropriate path, I just need to pause, open my eyes, and see it.

I love you.

Day of Anticipation

Okay, so there have been many things for which I have been hopeful over the last year: my faith, my family, my career. Finally, I think the timing might be right. First and foremost, my faith! Never in my life have I ever felt so close to God. Despite my fear of the unknown, I trusted God would place me in the right congregation, at the right time, and for His purpose. I have connected with this family in ways I never expected. I grow every week in my faith. I hear His direction loud and clear and try to avoid circumstances which may interfere with my journey. I've found opportunities to serve within the church and in the community, while strengthening my spirit. Above all, life's distractions no longer interfere with my top priority, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ!

Secondly, I used to be nervous speaking about my faith from a factual stance out of fear of not sounding inclusive. The reality, I'm speaking from my truths. Now as I interact with my family, I try to be more direct in my responses versus a bit wishy-washy. I love and trust God, no harm can come from speaking through His love.

Lastly, my career. So, yea, I make graphs for a living...I said graphs, no I don't grow grass (someone actually asked that once). I've become known as the "pretty picture" person. Can you imagine how disheartening this is when you once served in the USAF at the Pentagon? Let's just say comparing apples to oranges is not a fair comparison. However, I have been marching down a different path of late and may have positive transitions on the horizon!

God is good, folks! If you trust Him, if you lift to Him, and if you can wait patiently, miraculous things are in store!!

Day 44: Heavenly Father, thank you for your impeccable timing. Thank you for leading me at the right time and toward the right place to experience your glory in a way I may never had if I didn't trust you. 

God, please forgive me in moments where I've questioned your plan or purpose. I try to be patient, but I know my motivation comes from a lack of seeing the big picture. Lord, remind me in moments of weakness the amazing things you continue doing in our world today! Perhaps, Lord, my excited anticipation causes me to misstep, take matters into my own hands, or like Sarai, help you out (you know, just in case).

Thank you for your faithfulness toward your people, Father God! I pray my openness of faith can bridge a gap for someone feeling abandoned or wandering aimlessly through life. Thank you for your greatness!

I love you.

Source: http://keepingitpersonal.com/2012/08/anticipation/