Day of Comfort

When we learn someone is suffering from physical ailments or emotional pains, we hope for comfort and healing. Often those around us offer their thoughts, prayers, and words of support, but expect some otherworldly source to actual provide it. In fact, I'm ashamed to admit, but I've used the coined phrase "I'm praying for you," but only in the moment did I actually pray. Think for a moment when you've shared such words. Was it the standard response, a nicety if you will? Did you fully intend to pray, but failed to execute beyond saying those words? Did you genuinely spend time with God asking for His healing hand on those suffering.

This week marks another death of someone for whom I cared deeply, my former father-in-law. Regardless of the circumstances causing my divorce, my daughter's dad and I are friendly. I remain up-to-date on the ups and downs of his family as he has of mine. I'm thankful we have a mature relationship like this, if nothing more than to demonstrate to our children how to interact with others by showing God's love even when it's difficult or against human response.

I pray as this family receives an outpouring of condolences and offers of prayer, these words are genuine. I pray prayers of comfort and healing are extended to God with expectation He, in fact, can heal. The loss of a father (in my case, a grandfather who was like my father) doesn't get easier. I visit my grandfather's gravesite twice a year and ball my eyes out nearly six years later. But, with time and through God's loving hands the loss is easier to cope. 

Day 72: Heavenly Father, thank you for your love and support, comfort and healing. Thank you for always being available for our needs, but requiring us to reach to you. Thank you for your grace when we so often take you for granted and just expect this and that without putting in any work.

Lord, I pray you wrap your loving arms around this family consumed with grief at the loss of their patriarch. I know he is with you in the kingdom; what great warmth that brings to my heart. But, God, our loss of his presence is still painful. Although we should be celebrating with adoration and joy his physical battles are over and you've called your son home, but our loss of his presence is still painful. Even though without a doubt he is with you enjoying Georgia peach ice cream and sharing his orneriness, without being able to turn to watch him, our loss of his presence is still painful.

So, Father God, my plea is for comfort. Heal our despairing hearts as we mourn the loss of a compassionate, loving man. Dry our countless tears as we celebrate his life, but regret all those who did not get the pleasure of his acquaintance. Lift our bittersweet spirits as we joyously lift him to you, but desire to pull him back for one last smile, one last hug, one last kiss. Strengthen our worn bodies as the dust settles, the grieving overwhelms, and reality sets in. Despite our human grief, I am comforted to know your devoted servant trusted his life to you and ran into your arms when he was finally home.

I love you.

Day of Equipment

On Thursday, while my eldest continued preparing for her upcoming mission trip, I took the little one to purchase her first softball glove. Expecting a quick stop at Play It Again Sports, I didn't plan much time for the excursion (she is only 5 after all). But, alas, ALL of the gloves in her size were gone. We tried some smaller and bigger gloves, but none of them fit quite right.

It's important for her to have the appropriate equipment to ensure this doesn't stand in her way enjoying her first year of softball. Off we went to Dick's Sporting Goods! We scoured the shelves searching for a glove with the perfect fit. We could've settled for her sister's hammy downs, but I want my youngest to have her own memories with her own equipment. We could've grabbed the first glove we saw, but if it didn't fit quite right, she might get discouraged and quit before she ever got a chance to experience the joys of the game. We could've settled for a baseball mitt versus one for softball (not too much difference at the tee-ball age), but it would seem like a compromise. After much searching, we found a glove she's excited to start using.

Searching for equipment is similar to church shopping. One of the things I love about the Christian faith is the variety of church families to join. Some people might suggest the slight differences in doctrine from one church to the next actually cause rifts within the faith or may foster rationalization for non-believers to say "you can't even agree on doctrine, let alone unity!"

For me, the variety allows people from all walks of life to find a church family who meet the unique qualities and life experiences of each and every person. You could borrow the beliefs of someone else or you can seek a congregation for which you feel most comfortable. You could join the first congregation out of guilt or obligation, but quickly become bitter and disengaged because it doesn't fit your specific faith journey needs. You could even choose a church which on the outside looks like what you're seeking, but the church doctrine appeals to congregants who may not align with your personal convictions, thus compromising a part of you.

When seeking a new church, I've found an unyielding desire to shop until I find one that fits like a glove! It creates my own memories/experiences along my faith journey, it keeps me falling in love with Jesus daily never becoming complacent and disengaged, and it allows me to reveal my vulnerabilities comfortably knowing I'm supported by others who share things of similar importance. Never give up finding a church to foster Christ's love within you. When you find a church that fits like a glove, you can embrace God's plan for you uninhibited!!

Day 79: Heavenly Father, thank you for instilling in me a desire to keep seeking my role in your church. Thank you for providing me free will to choose a church which does not distract me from fulfilling your role for me. Thank you for guiding me to Carmel United Methodist Church.

Lord, I pray each member of my church spends time in self reflection ensuring they feel our church fits like a glove for them. As much as I would never want to lose members of our congregation, more importantly, I don't want followers to feel complacent and not quite right in their place of worship. It seems more important to help believers find a congregation in which they can thrive for your glory than to ensure we don't lose numbers and financial offerings. 

Father God, I fear if we are not equipped appropriately through our devotion to you, our love for others, and our recognition of the importance of finding an appropriate church, we cannot build disciples who can build disciples. I trust what you place on my heart can help ensure my lasting commitment to you. I want to go wherever, whenever, and whatever!

I love you.

Day of Bonding

The last couple of weekends has been filled with lots of bonding with my girls!! Last weekend was full of wrestling, supporting my daughter's teammates and cheering her on during the girls state  tournament!

This weekend, my girls and I jammed to Jamie Grace, Third Day, and Skillet along with Christians from all over Indiana. I can't think of a better first concert for my youngest. We enjoyed a reprieve between winter storms and squeezed in a some practice time on the bicycle and a swing date. When the temps started dropping, we howled with laughter watching "Everything is awesome!" Ending the weekend, we shared in fellowship while listening to a sermon applicable to anyone with friends (I hope that applies to all of you!) Quality time is extremely important!

Spending time together either doing activities or just hanging out promotes strength in relationships (no duh, Jasmine!) For some reason, however, even though we know this isn't rocket science, we overwhelm ourselves with other stuff we think is important. The reality is, in my humble opinion, strengthening relationships is far more important than having an empty sink or windows so clear birds don't see them (poor Windex birds), completing another workout at the gym, or responding to a few more work emails. 

We have 24 hours a day, but I don't think God's great plan includes consuming the majority of those hours cleaning, incessantly, exercising obsessively, or working exhaustively. If that were true, Jesus would have taught the greatest commandment is love God with all your might and the second is vacuum your floors religiously, burn calories exponentially, and work overtime obediently.

Day 60: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me clarity in identifying priorities. Thank you for being the center of my life and funneling your positivity into my family. Thank you for the continued growth in the relationships with my children and the foundation for lasting friendships between us.

Lord, I wish I could help others experience the joy I have setting aside other activities when rainbow loom bracelets are requested! Housework is always present, yet we constantly tackle it as if we believe once it's complete, then we'll have time for fostering relationships. We tell ourselves once we look a little better physically, then we'll make time for our loved ones. We convince ourselves achieving certain statuses professionally helps relationships personally. 

God, how can I convince others even when their efforts are admirable (like working extra hours to pay bills or losing weight to be healthier), their lack of time bonding in relationships can have far greater detrimental impact than financial or physical. Or, Father, is it me who needs better understanding?

Father God, sometimes I struggle with seeing the gray when your direction seems so black and white. Please forgive me if my lack of understanding doesn't respect the struggles of others. I want to uphold your two greatest commandments by bringing people closer to you and help strengthen people's relationships!

I love you.

Day of Priorities

Parents tend to battle competing priorities trying to raise children, excel professionally, and develop spiritually. It can seem chaotic at times and weigh heavy on our shoulders when all these priorities are battling for top position.

Viewing them objectively, my faith is always first as everything positive results from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Secondly, my children's needs gain my full attention. Lastly, I focus on the expectations of my employer and my desire to be useful. Wouldn't it be so much easier if life was this black and white?

The reality is this objective priority structure can't exist (at least, not for me). When one aspect of life needs more attention than the other, it must move to the top of the list regardless of its position in the objective list of priorities.

One way I've found to help overcome the anxiety of the constant vying for my attention is to make lists. Even though I may already know what needs to be accomplished, writing down each task tricks my mind to feel success by checking things off a task list. Despite the tediousness of such an exercise, the sense of accomplishment is uncanny.

Day 58: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me clarity to adjust to changing priorities. Thank you for your presence in my life so that I may never feel alone. Thank you for providing direction to help me refocus when my priorities are out of sync.

Lord, often people plead "if I only had xx hours a day, I could accomplish..." Sadly, we'd just fill those hours up too and beg for more hours. I pray for your wisdom in recognizing when the subjectivity of life's tasks skew the objective view of priorities. Please help remind us it's not more time we need, but how we use that time most effectively. 

Father God, may I always find time to worship you daily (thank you for your mercy when I falter). I pray I create unique opportunities to spend quality time with my daughters. I want to share direct interaction with each of them frequently regardless of the chaos consuming our schedules. I pray for motivation to focus on completing tasks at work in a timely fashion. I want to avoid letting work expectations overrule other priorities in my life on a regular basis. Thank you for protecting me from myself.

I love you.

Day of Timeliness

I don't believe God controls what happens to us. So, for example, when a tragedy strikes and people ask why God would let something like that happen, I simply state He doesn't. God's story, His plan for the human race, is on a completely different plane than ours. I firmly believe He comforts our pains, thereby transforming us to rely on Him!

I titled this prayer timeliness because I'm in awe to some significant events which have placed me in the right church at the right time for His purpose! How incredible!! My family decided it was time to seek a new church to continue our spiritual growth. I had an expectation it would likely be the church we planned to visit in the third week. So, we visited the first church, overwhelming to say the least. We visited the second church. Then, the second again...and again...and again. 

I felt God working through the pastors in the second church and connecting His messages directly to my life. While I enjoyed traditional worship, my girls went to junior worship. We finally decided after six months or so, this was the family with whom we wanted to grow. Even though we transferred our memberships making it all official, we were still finding our place within this body.

During family worship, my daughters and I were participating in the contemporary service. Experiencing worship with them sparked this unyielding desire to attend both traditional (for my comfort) and contemporary (for our comfort) services. Was this God's only plan? Oh no! 

We became more involved with Wednesday bible studies and volunteering. This developed new relationships and built a greater foundation in our faith journeys. Was this God's only plan? Oh no! 

We experienced a worship series on Jesus, then a worship series on the Holy Spirit. Something felt different during these sermons. I felt God reaching my inner core and saying "daughter, I need you to hear me." During this time, our pastor began sharing with us a unique blessing God grants to Christians - spiritual gifts. Was this God's plan? I believe so!

I firmly believe God placed paths before me to hear His call to immerse myself fully in His church and He will grant me unique spiritual gifts to work through me for His glorious kingdom! 

That, my friends, is God's timing!!

Day 51: Heavenly Father, thank you for your impeccable timing. It's so easy to become impatient or discouraged when our needs aren't met on our time. But, you remind me through your spirit, my plans and timing are not necessarily your prioritized plans and timing.

God, I pray upon identifying my spiritual gifts, I will recognize them as only received by your grace. I fear I may blur the lines and take credit for your blessings. Thank you for entrusting me to uphold your name and fulfill your plan through these gifts. When I am weary or unsure, Lord, please strengthen my resolve.

Father God, your timing never ceases to amaze me. I trust you and live to serve you. What an honor to lift your name and share your mighty Word for the common good!

I love you.

Source:  http://www.newcov.tv/news/improving-your-serve/

Day of Family

I'm sure many share this sentiment: I adore my family. We are all uniquely different and fit together perfectly to form a beautiful picture! I love the skewed lines of our technical relation. For example, even though my mom is technically the eldest sibling, I am viewed as the youngest sister. Even though the only male is technically my uncle, we all call him Bro (or, in my case, Uncle Bro...I promise all legit, no incest). Even though I am technically their niece, I grew up with the girls of "the second family" as my big sisters. Even though I'm technically cousins with their children, I'm really viewed as another aunt. I could never ask for anything more than than this beautiful, convoluted, confusing mess!!

Day 47: Heavenly Father, thank you for blessing me with a loving, supportive group of siblings! I cherish each and every memory with them and have no reason to ask you for anyone more than who you've placed in my life. Thank you for blessing my grandpa and grandma with such a big, beautiful brood who have watched over me throughout my life.

For my mother: Lord, thank you for your timing. Despite the loss I may have felt not really knowing her as a child might want to know her parent, I am thankful for the rekindling of our relationship now. Thank you for challenging me to express my pain, sorrow, joy, and protection with and for her. Hearing those words "I love you Jasmine" from my mom catch me every time. Thank you, Father, for my mother!

For Sarah: Lord, thank you for this amazing momauntsisterfriend. You have blessed her with compassion, intelligence, empathy, and protective arms for which I have often turned for advice and comfort. I hope you had a hand in my Spain trip falling through in high school, Lord, because the time I shared with this lovely woman that summer will be close to my heart always! Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

For "Uncle Bro": Lord, thank you for this entertaining and supportive big brother. I haven't ever really viewed him as an uncle, it seems too distant to the love and adoration I have for his protectiveness and support. The pride he displayed for my time served at the Pentagon has touched me so much. As you know, Lord, I am a pleaser. Knowing my big brother was proud of me motivated me far beyond what anyone might know (even when he tried to get me in trouble by taking a picture behind the podium in the media room in the E ring). Thank you, Father, for my uncle!

For Aly: Lord, where did the saying "laughter is the best medicine" originate? Well, whoever created it, Aly embraced it!! Challenges from childhood couldn't weigh too heavy on my heart with Aly's Raging Barbie stories keeping me in stitches! Father, you placed an extra pinch of sugar in the mold when you created this wonderful sister of mine! Coupled with her humor, her vocal talent brings goosebumps to the surface often. Above all, Lord, she is your child and I feel not only a biological relation to Aly, but also a spiritual one through our acceptance of your Son as our Savior. Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

For Claire: Lord, what sister comforts you when you've vomited in her single size bed and you secretly think you can clean it up without her waking? Awe, you knew...it would be my precious Claire. I adore my little auntie!! Our numerous nighttime snuggles, our weekend trips to grab a bite to eat to visit, my batgirl experience during her softball games...so many memories, Father! My most cherished moment of connection with this lovely, petite blessing was in the delivery room. How magnificent to get to experience my cousin's birth!! Father, it wasn't even planned for me to be in the delivery room, but I am so thankful for plans being tossed away and witnessing my aunt's pure joy at the arrival of my cousin. Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

For Anna: Lord, thank you for my talented, determined, compassionate twin with the other powers. I am in utter awe of her perseverance and commitment to anything she sets her mind. What a role model for me throughout life! Her ability to lift spirits just with her smiles brings such warmth to my heart. I always cherish the weekend pleas for my visits so "we could make cookies" (btw, that meant Jazzy makes the cookies, while the twins taste test them) and the tug-of-wars for who gets to snuggle with Jazzy the heater (btw, I started sleeping on the floor...my arms were tired). One of my favorite memories was awaking the twins over the summer as a joke after having ridden my bike to their house. Seeing Anna's excitement of me being at their house brings tears of joy to me knowing how much I'm loved. (The joke: during one summer, I road to their town every morning...about 14 miles round trip. Periodically, I'd stop to see if anyone was awake. My grandpa was outside. After we exchanged love and hugs, we decided to play a trick. I awakened the twins and told them grandpa got up early and picked me up. The dazed looks on their faces was priceless...I think they picked me up later that day to make cookies.) Thank you, Father, for my aunt!

Father God, I want to always be mindful of your greatest commandments loving you and loving others. Lord, thank you for teaching us, it's not so much about following all these laws and rules, it's about loving each other. Thank you for placing me in the perfect family for me!

I love you.

Day of Reality

This is a circle prayer about reality, but directed toward me.

Yesterday, I faced some challenges dealing with some stuff really out of my control. Unfortunately, as much as I want to believe I can identify every variable of a situation to ward off potential issues, I cannot predict the future and need to just "let it go," like Elsa in Frozen.

Today, my family celebrated my lovely grandma's  birthday. In an effort to kill birds with stones, I asked for some advice from my aunt and uncle. I am so thankful for them helping me to see I need to "keep it real" and just let the chips fall where they may. 

My biggest regret for today:

Although my intent was to help a situation, had I been real with myself that I cannot foresee every variable, I wouldn't have lost valuable time celebrating my grandma's birthday. I'm very sorry and disappointed in myself.

Day 46: Heavenly Father, thank you for my family and their objectiveness. Thank you for reminding me through my poor judgement today lifting and trusting situations to you is truly the greatest gift I can give myself. Lord, thank you for the clarity I needed revealed to keep things real.

God, it's incredible how many times I've told others "just lift it to God, get it off your shoulders," yet I still have trouble practicing what I preach. I try to release control, release the worry, and just let you do your thing, but goodness it is so outside my comfort zone. Why is that? I know factually all I have achieved is through your great glory and mercy, so why is it out of my comfort zone? I'm a weirdo!! 

Father God, I feel embarrassed sometimes to show my emotion about situations for which I'm sadly accustomed? I don't understand why one day I can be absolutely objective and disconnected emotionally, and the next day a blubbering fool about the same situation. I know you've provided us various outlets for expression, but does it have to be through tears? Haha! Well, regardless, thank you for using my family today to bring me back to an objective evaluation of my circumstances and offering realistic solutions.

Without you working through those with whom I sought counsel, I'd probably continue trying to maintain control of a situation, potentially harming myself emotionally or financially. Thank you.

I love you.

Day of Anticipation

Okay, so there have been many things for which I have been hopeful over the last year: my faith, my family, my career. Finally, I think the timing might be right. First and foremost, my faith! Never in my life have I ever felt so close to God. Despite my fear of the unknown, I trusted God would place me in the right congregation, at the right time, and for His purpose. I have connected with this family in ways I never expected. I grow every week in my faith. I hear His direction loud and clear and try to avoid circumstances which may interfere with my journey. I've found opportunities to serve within the church and in the community, while strengthening my spirit. Above all, life's distractions no longer interfere with my top priority, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ!

Secondly, I used to be nervous speaking about my faith from a factual stance out of fear of not sounding inclusive. The reality, I'm speaking from my truths. Now as I interact with my family, I try to be more direct in my responses versus a bit wishy-washy. I love and trust God, no harm can come from speaking through His love.

Lastly, my career. So, yea, I make graphs for a living...I said graphs, no I don't grow grass (someone actually asked that once). I've become known as the "pretty picture" person. Can you imagine how disheartening this is when you once served in the USAF at the Pentagon? Let's just say comparing apples to oranges is not a fair comparison. However, I have been marching down a different path of late and may have positive transitions on the horizon!

God is good, folks! If you trust Him, if you lift to Him, and if you can wait patiently, miraculous things are in store!!

Day 44: Heavenly Father, thank you for your impeccable timing. Thank you for leading me at the right time and toward the right place to experience your glory in a way I may never had if I didn't trust you. 

God, please forgive me in moments where I've questioned your plan or purpose. I try to be patient, but I know my motivation comes from a lack of seeing the big picture. Lord, remind me in moments of weakness the amazing things you continue doing in our world today! Perhaps, Lord, my excited anticipation causes me to misstep, take matters into my own hands, or like Sarai, help you out (you know, just in case).

Thank you for your faithfulness toward your people, Father God! I pray my openness of faith can bridge a gap for someone feeling abandoned or wandering aimlessly through life. Thank you for your greatness!

I love you.

Source: http://keepingitpersonal.com/2012/08/anticipation/

Day of Blood

I know, the title sounds kind of morbid. Actually, this prayer is one of amazement for the young woman my daughter's "big sister" has become.

Yesterday, I was exhausted. I attended the funeral and burial service of a very close friend. It truly is a bittersweet situation as he had fought tirelessly for years succumbing to multiple surgeries and experimental treatments in an effort to have as much time on this earth with his family.

During his service, his daughter spoke of his greatness. Here's the thing, he was her stepfather! What this lovely young lady shared with the mourners provides the greatest testament to a father-daughter relationship! She stood before us and stated, "I am proof being a father has nothing to do with blood because there wasn't a drop of blood shared between me and my dad!"

Please tell me you just felt God's fantastic goose bumps!! Please tell me you can attest to such a profound statement. Please tell me you know a young woman as wise and loving as this young lady. I hope you do! I know her dad is so proud of her; I'm fortunate to have her as family.

Day 43: Heavenly Father, thank you for blessing me with the friendship of such a loving family, even if we don't share a drop of blood! Thank you for placing a wonderful, amazing young lady in my daughter's path with whom she has developed a sisterly bond. Thank you for your mercy on my friend's weary frame providing him medical support to ease into your kingdom comfortably.

Lord, I pray each person who has interacted with this compassionate young mother recognizes the pureness of her spirit and the blessing upon receipt of her uplifting smiles. Please watch over her family and friends as they continue grieving the loss of a supportive husband, loving father, and compassionate friend. 

Father God, I grieve the loss of my friend, but celebrate his life. He persevered where others may have faltered. He sacrificed where others may have squandered. He loved modestly where others may have tolerated boastfully. Thank you for reminding us through my friend blood does make a father, it just takes unconditional love!

I love you.