Day of Light

Whew! Thank you for your patience as I've caught up on my prayer posts for last week. It is rare for me to feel overwhelmed, but this week certainly got the best of me. Thankfully, I have a God-centered determination to maintain this as a daily blog (if I ended a 365-day blog with only 363 prayers, I would feel like I failed...I'd never say someone else failed, but I'm sometimes terrible with the practice what you preach). This time I spend with God discussing my day or whatever consumes my thoughts has provided me fantastic insight into my successes and failures, my joys and concerns, and my confidences and fears.

I have never felt more confident the words I share with others are divinely inspired. Sometimes, I feel like there are some people who have just not experienced God's love in a way that helps lift them from the darkness in their lives. On the outside, they make excuses and blame others for the circumstances in which they find themselves, the "it's always someone else who put me in this situation" mentality. On the inside, however, they are stuck in a dark and dreary state of loss, shame, and confusion. They may not even know they are doing this to themselves. Denial can sometimes be unintentional because it's too frightening to admit we may actually be the cause of living in such darkness.

I hope my open prayers with God can help those who are stuck in the darkness to experience a connection with someone who shared similar circumstances. I want to express myself honestly and help others realize they too can live in the light and they don't have to climb out alone. They have loved ones, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers who are ready and willing to help pull them into the light and experience a new life filled with hope and love.

Day 75: Heavenly Father, thank you for using me in such a pivotal role to comfort and support others with direct and honest discourse. Thank you for providing me a venue to connect with people across the world expanding your love of the global church. Thank you for blessing me with words to transform, words to inspire, and words to invoke analysis of our inner selves.

Lord, directness can be scary for some people to accept. We've created a world of always wanting to feel good and wanting the easy fix. What we fail to realize is we are our own worst enemies. We want change, but don't want to do the work requiring change. We want different lives, but don't want to examine ourselves identifying some of our faults may be impeding our progress. We want to be pulled out of the darkness, but can't see the outstretched arms ready to help pull us out of the depths of despair. Ultimately, Lord, we need you, but refuse to see you when you're right in front of us. Thank you for never leaving us. Thank you for being ready when we are ready. Thank you for placing positive individuals in our lives to help us connect and lean on you through them.

Father God, I cannot imagine where my life would have ended up if I didn't lean on you. I cannot relate to depression because I believe you are the greatest anti-depressant money doesn't have to buy. I cannot imagine living a life of pessimism, despair, anger, loss, or confusion. I pity those stuck in the darkness and pray I can be used as a vessel to help lead them to your light. I pray you continue protecting those who are not ready to trust in you, but use those who care about them to lead them to a positive, loving relationship with you, our wonderful Counselor.

I love you.

Day of Confidence

When you've never really struggled to perform, perhaps in academics, athletics, the arts, etc., it's disheartening when you may no longer be the best of the best. Your confidence comes under attack; which may trickle over into other areas of life unrelated to the activity. This seems quite prevalent in youth sports. At what point, do kids move from participating for the love of the game to a ruthless agenda to shut out competition, aka their peers? How do they transition from supportive teammates to looking out for number one no matter whose confidence may be trampled? Sadly, I fear adults not only encourage, but also may be instigators of such dog eat dog behavior.

For those who are naturally athletic, but hit a plateau, this is quite an adjustment. Not only must a mindset shift to accept they may not be the best players, but also the need for encouragement increases to avoid obliterating their confidence altogether. Youth should be able to lean on coaches to mentor them both on and off the field. If they can't, they may perceive themselves as not good enough and give up playing a sport they love dearly.

There's certainly a place for healthy competition; in fact, it often motivates people to improve and strive to perform the best they can. However, when competition turns to pitting people against each other, the healthy aspect disappears. I've witnessed firsthand my daughter's love for a sport diminish drastically as a result of trying to vie for starting positions. When activities once so loved become nearly a burden and the joy sucked out of them, where is the benefit? When improving for the sake of improving is checked at the door in favor of wins no matter the cost, where is the benefit? When coaches break down players to the point of them questioning their worth, what is the benefit?

Jesus Christ didn't teach us an everything goes as long as you get what's coming to you approach to life. He taught us to lift, love, and support each other. Interactions with this teaching in mind can lend to maintaining confidence in all situations, even if you're no longer the best of the best.

Day 95: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me the wisdom to guide my daughters through turbulent waters. Thank you for creating them with emotion and sensitivities which demonstrate their unselfish empathy for others. 

Lord, I lift my hands to you helpless. My daughter's confidence waivers. Her self worth diminishes with each interaction with her coach. When she should receive constructive criticism, she receives harsh rebuke. When she should receive supportive recognition, she receives resentful antagonism. When she should receive engaging mentorship, she receives confidence destroying interaction. Father, I ask for your forgiveness for my anger in this situation. I ask for you to overwhelm me with the appropriate approach to this situation to show your unyielding love when I'm not feeling quite so generous.

Father God, I ask for you to rebuild my daughter's confidence. She is your beautiful creation desiring wholeheartedly to serve you in any capacity you envision. No child should ever feel unworthy because she may not meet the expectations of one person. It is only your expectations we should strive to achieve. However, we live in this world and must be able to function effectively. I trust you can provide the needed strength to face this world with confidence.

I love you.

Day of Stumbles

Everyone stumbles, makes mistakes, even sins. I know, Christians sin??? Shocking...NOT! In fact, if we cannot admit this about ourselves, yet we judge others for their stumbles, no wonder Christians often are labeled hypocrits. Over the last five weeks, I've had the opportunity to host a community group centered on The Great Commission...making disciples. I was nervous because frankly I've made so many mistakes in my life, I feared answering questions with wisdom that would promote others' desires to become and make disciples. What I learned, however, is one of the best ways to teach is through your own life experiences, sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly (sorry, Clint Eastwood). If you want to connect with people and not come across as elitist and judgmental, don't be scared to share your mistakes, your stumbles, your missteps, and even your vulnerabilities causing you to sin. As a church, we are required to lift, support, and bear the burdens of our fellow believers.

Here's the thing, sin is in our DNA. Adam and Eve's original sin partaking of the apple fundamentally transformed human DNA. Think about it, even when God attempted to cleanse the Earth by way of the great flood saving only Noah and his family, sin still resonated and displayed itself countless times (as an aside, I won't say whether or not you should see the Noah movie, but I would strongly encourage you to read the biblical depiction of the great flood in order to know the truth and not fall victim to fictional characterization). HOWEVER, even though sin is ingrained in us, this doesn't mean we are not accountable for ourselves and our choices. Being mindful of our susceptibility to sin should cause us to approach situations differently. It should cause us to understand the dangers in the choices we make. It should remind us we are not immune to the immoralities of this world and as such need to work harder to avoid succumbing to such temptations.

All that being said, God loves us regardless and grants grace. Is that not incredible?!?! For as far as we've steered away from God, He has always been present, is present, and will always be present in our lives. Reach out to Him when you stumble! Ask Him for forgiveness vocalizing an acknowledgement of knowing right from wrong in God's eyes. Ask Him for strength and wisdom to learn from your mistakes. Praise Him for loving you anyway.

Day 88: Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me anyway. Thank you for knowing I would struggle, I would falter, and I would need you. Thank you for always being present and patiently waiting for me to realize it.

God, I feel like we spend too much time hiding our faults. We deceive ourselves and others by way of deflecting attention from our own sins and call attention to others. You taught us to be a community of believers for the ups and the downs with our relationships centered on you. But, particularly during the downs, it seems these are the times when we separate and seclude ourselves from one another. Sometimes, we do this out of fear of judgement. Loving constructive criticism is essential to building relationships! If the church isn't loving and supportive to help members, but instead criticizing to turn attention away from their own misdeeds, no wonder many separate themselves. I pray we can chuck our pride, fears, and shame at the door of our relationships and trust you to lead us to healthy, supportive fellowship.

Father God, I want to be in fellowship with my church family. I want to trust those with whom I worship, study, and develop friendships. I desire the sense the fellowship found in Amish communities, where I trust the collective has my best interest at heart and they trust I have the same feelings for them. I want to help lift others through your loving encouragement and celebrate their joys of celebration. I pray through the vision and leadership of Pastor Scott, we may become a congregation similar to The Early Church. Thank you for leading and instilling this desire within me.

I love you.

Source: http://www.thankfulme.net/2014/03/april-2014-visiting-teaching-handout.html?m=1

Day of Masks

Pain stinks...period. I can't sugarcoat it. Whether physical, mental, or spiritual pain, it can cause you a world of hurt. Unfortunately, the only way to overcome pain is to face it; anything else is just masking the pain and prolonging its hold on you!

Today, I woke up perplexed by the previous night's lack of words to express my prayers to God. I was silent. Thankfully, I was silent. I was ready to observe. I was ready to listen. As I dropped off my daughter at school, I spoke to the before/after school care supervisor. He looked a little worse for wear; but, it was early, so I assumed he was tired.

In our brief exchange of pleasantries, it dawned on me he was more than just tired. Out of concern, I asked if he was feeling okay. What I learned next hits home with me on many levels. He was overcoming the pains of having his stomach pumped three times resulting from alcohol poisoning. This guy is in his 20s, the stereotypical party age! He must've consumed an excessive amount of alcohol to suffer so much! 

Knowing we'd both served in the military and he'd been injured in combat, I started connecting the dots. I asked if he suffered PTSD. Sadly, he does and meets with VA counselors periodically. Unfortunately, like so many people, the pains were too great from combat, he used alcohol to mask them. After being injured, he drank heavily, quit cold turkey, and when the memories consumed him again, he masked them with alcohol again.

Masks keep us spiraling out of control. We need more and more masks to keep our pains at bay. The more we retreat behind the masks, the deeper we fall. 

Pain stinks...period. It's hard to face it. But, with God as your counselor, you can face the greatest pains the human race has ever suffered. Give it to God and let your healing begin!

Day 57: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me the opportunity to speak with this young man today. Thank you for providing the words to speak compassionately, yet directly. Thank you for helping me use the tragic loss of my brother as a connecting point to support this young man.

Father God, too many people for whom I care use masks to cope rather than face pains. I want to scream from a mountain "you're not alone!! God, loves you and wants you to let Him help you!" Lord, I want to plead exhaustively! It hurts to know people can't lift their pains to you and instead rely on their own destructive, coping mechanisms. How can I help?!?

Lord in Heaven, I plead for your direct presence in the life of this young man. He's lost. He hurts. He's confused. He's suffering. Perhaps, this wake up call was indeed your intercession in his life. I pray he will recognize his pain can be healed by facing it with you by his side.

Please use me Lord to help this young man in any capacity for which you deem my involvement can be helpful.

I love you.

Source: http://daughterbydesign.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/the-masks-we-wear/put-away-the-mask/

Day of Reality

This is a circle prayer about reality, but directed toward me.

Yesterday, I faced some challenges dealing with some stuff really out of my control. Unfortunately, as much as I want to believe I can identify every variable of a situation to ward off potential issues, I cannot predict the future and need to just "let it go," like Elsa in Frozen.

Today, my family celebrated my lovely grandma's  birthday. In an effort to kill birds with stones, I asked for some advice from my aunt and uncle. I am so thankful for them helping me to see I need to "keep it real" and just let the chips fall where they may. 

My biggest regret for today:

Although my intent was to help a situation, had I been real with myself that I cannot foresee every variable, I wouldn't have lost valuable time celebrating my grandma's birthday. I'm very sorry and disappointed in myself.

Day 46: Heavenly Father, thank you for my family and their objectiveness. Thank you for reminding me through my poor judgement today lifting and trusting situations to you is truly the greatest gift I can give myself. Lord, thank you for the clarity I needed revealed to keep things real.

God, it's incredible how many times I've told others "just lift it to God, get it off your shoulders," yet I still have trouble practicing what I preach. I try to release control, release the worry, and just let you do your thing, but goodness it is so outside my comfort zone. Why is that? I know factually all I have achieved is through your great glory and mercy, so why is it out of my comfort zone? I'm a weirdo!! 

Father God, I feel embarrassed sometimes to show my emotion about situations for which I'm sadly accustomed? I don't understand why one day I can be absolutely objective and disconnected emotionally, and the next day a blubbering fool about the same situation. I know you've provided us various outlets for expression, but does it have to be through tears? Haha! Well, regardless, thank you for using my family today to bring me back to an objective evaluation of my circumstances and offering realistic solutions.

Without you working through those with whom I sought counsel, I'd probably continue trying to maintain control of a situation, potentially harming myself emotionally or financially. Thank you.

I love you.