Day of Need

I suppose if you've been hanging out with me over these last 100 prayers, you embrace the power of prayer. I know when I lift heartache and pains to God through prayer, He has the power to heal wounds and strengthen spirits. If you share my belief, I ask for you to do me a favor today. There are several people with whom I know are facing turmoil in their marriages. There's no need to share details, just please trust me when I say people are hurting. In fact, you may know people in your own life who are facing anguish in their marriages.

My request is if you trust God's miraculous power, share this prayer today with others. I ask us to pray together for those struggling. Let us not dwell on the causes of the marital hardships, but rather on the healing these people need from our Heavenly Father. Speaking for myself, sometimes the answer is not saving the marriage. Sometimes, the answer is healing from the pain, learning to forgive, and finding peace away from a broken path once followed. Whatever you desire to pray for those we know are hurting is between you and God. All I ask is if you do trust in His comfort and healing power, please participate in a joint prayer.

Tonight, my prayer will be reciting the words from Matt Maher's song "Lord, I Need You." Thank you.

Day 100: Heavenly Father, thank you for your healing power from heartache, painful discord, and lost love. Thank you for demonstrating your miraculous work through the most unsuspecting among us. Thank you for watching over those I care for tonight. Please provide them peace in knowing they can rely on you for comfort and healing...I want them to know they need you.

LORD, I NEED YOU (Matt Maher)

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/matt-maher/lord-i-need-you-lyrics/#uP4RULhCoZsvikIB.99

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/matt-maher/lord-i-need-you-lyrics/#uP4RULhCoZsvikIB.99

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You


I love you.

Source: mattmaherVEVO (Official Lord, I Need You video)

Day of Facelift

You may have noticed I've made modifications to the titles of my posts. I don't know if it was my daughter looking out for me or getting tired of listening to me worry about being "behind" in my prayer blog. Whatever the motivation, she encouraged me to simply remove the dates from the titles of my blog. It's funny how such a simple "facelift" can change your perspective. The blog is still in tact; the purpose is still genuine; but, the tracking of my posts has been modified. I was stressing. about being behind. I was stressing about the time I want to ensure I dedicate to each prayer. I was stressing about disappointing anyone out there who may be reading the posts. I think all legitimate concerns, but taking away from the primary purpose which is to spend time in prayer with God. Granted I get a huge bonus (a warm fuzzy, if you will) if I learn my blog may help someone in some way, but the primary focus is a selfish one. I want to ensure I stay true to the first prayer, having daily conversations with God.

As we've seen in society, facelifts change the visual, but can't fill the void found lying underneath the surface. This is no different with this prayer blog. Tricking my mind to not be disappointed if I haven't posted something every day is only surface; the underlying void I have been feeling can only be fulfilled through conversations with my Lord. I'm thankful my daughter made the suggestion to modify the titles because now I have no excuse for not reaching out to God.

Day 96: Heavenly Father, thank you for placing such a mature young lady in my care. Thank you for speaking through her and reminding me of my original intent. Thank you for your patience as I've worked through this journey to rejuvenate my underlying goal.

Lord, I humbly submit I have become lost in the topics, words, connection I could share with those reading my prayers. I have let my connection to this world jeopardize my daily communication with you. I worried if I didn't feel some profound thing to say, I shouldn't write anything until I did. However, that wasn't the intent. Rather, I should have been circling prayers around my need to connect with you daily in prayer. It is only through your wisdom have I been able to make connections, draw conclusions, and offer suggestions to coincide with my prayers. However, Father, I became motivated by the former, not the latter. I ask for your forgiveness.

Father God, you are awaiting my communication with you. You never leave me. You're not angered by my behavior. But, I know you are hurt by my actions. You are fully aware of my rationalizing. You are fully aware of my laziness. You are fully aware of my distractions. Yet, you still love me. How do I show my love and appreciation, by hurting you. I pray I continue to recognize the pain cause you. If I were to view you as my worldly father, it breaks my heart knowing I caused you pain. Being my Heavenly Father should be no different. Thank you for your grace and mercy.

I love you.

Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/52284045645994618/

Day of Reboot

My days are a little whack since I've been making up on missing some prayer days; forgive me for the dates. I know I'll eventually catch up, but until then, I appreciate your confused patience. On days I missed prayers, there were topics I wanted to address. One particular was rebooting.

You know how a computer can freeze up when too many actions are drawing on it's operating memory? I don't know about you, but all too often have I had to Ctrl + Alt + Delete and kill some of the applications. What a bittersweet action! On the one hand, it restarts the sucker; on the other hand, I lose valuable work. This is kind of how I got to this being behind in my prayers business. I mentioned in a previous prayer where I need to learn to say NO. In addition to this, I also need to learn sometimes a reboot is necessary, even if work is lost.

I took on too many things at one time. Not wanting to disappoint anyone (including myself), I tried to keep a happy face, but was becoming burdened with everything, even my prayer blog. My children's activities, certification classes, bible studies, and prayer blog were crashing into one another and freezing up my ability to function effectively. I felt I wasn't able to give my all to everything and started losing work (or, in this case, daily prayer posts and proper bible study preparation).

I have completed my certification classes, both my community group and bible study are complete, and my daughters' schedules will be consumed with softball at the same location. I feel I'm in the reboot mode. The chaos has slowed and with that the opportunity to selectively choose which activities I can dedicate my time. Learning to say no is an important step, but learning to reboot and redirect priorities is as well.

Day 90: Heavenly Father, thank you for not rescuing me too soon when things get a little too harried. Thank you for providing me the wisdom necessary to travel the life's crazy roads and make changes when necessary.

Lord, for those who honor Sundays as a true day of rest, I commend them. However, I worry perhaps too much is squeezed into the other six days of the week we end up on system overload. Rather than resting, I fear we may be crashing. Isn't something wrong with the modern day human if the only way to slow down is a literal system shutdown. Shouldn't we find balance in all our days so that we can make the most of each of our days? 

Father God, as a church, what do we do to bring these concerns to the attention of our fellow believers? How do you explain to the mom working two jobs to feed her family, she's working too much and will eventually crash and burn? How do we invigorate the church to sacrifice to this mom, so she may feel embraced by her community through your love and not continue trying to do it all on her own. Compel us, please Father! Lay on our hearts the burdens of others. Instill in us the necessity of community if we are ever going to be a church with the right center in priority. It is through my love for you, Heavenly Father, and the love for my neighbors that I beg for your intervention.

I love you.

Source: https://www.cpo-online.org.uk/catalogue.aspx?cat=1215

Day of Light

Whew! Thank you for your patience as I've caught up on my prayer posts for last week. It is rare for me to feel overwhelmed, but this week certainly got the best of me. Thankfully, I have a God-centered determination to maintain this as a daily blog (if I ended a 365-day blog with only 363 prayers, I would feel like I failed...I'd never say someone else failed, but I'm sometimes terrible with the practice what you preach). This time I spend with God discussing my day or whatever consumes my thoughts has provided me fantastic insight into my successes and failures, my joys and concerns, and my confidences and fears.

I have never felt more confident the words I share with others are divinely inspired. Sometimes, I feel like there are some people who have just not experienced God's love in a way that helps lift them from the darkness in their lives. On the outside, they make excuses and blame others for the circumstances in which they find themselves, the "it's always someone else who put me in this situation" mentality. On the inside, however, they are stuck in a dark and dreary state of loss, shame, and confusion. They may not even know they are doing this to themselves. Denial can sometimes be unintentional because it's too frightening to admit we may actually be the cause of living in such darkness.

I hope my open prayers with God can help those who are stuck in the darkness to experience a connection with someone who shared similar circumstances. I want to express myself honestly and help others realize they too can live in the light and they don't have to climb out alone. They have loved ones, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers who are ready and willing to help pull them into the light and experience a new life filled with hope and love.

Day 75: Heavenly Father, thank you for using me in such a pivotal role to comfort and support others with direct and honest discourse. Thank you for providing me a venue to connect with people across the world expanding your love of the global church. Thank you for blessing me with words to transform, words to inspire, and words to invoke analysis of our inner selves.

Lord, directness can be scary for some people to accept. We've created a world of always wanting to feel good and wanting the easy fix. What we fail to realize is we are our own worst enemies. We want change, but don't want to do the work requiring change. We want different lives, but don't want to examine ourselves identifying some of our faults may be impeding our progress. We want to be pulled out of the darkness, but can't see the outstretched arms ready to help pull us out of the depths of despair. Ultimately, Lord, we need you, but refuse to see you when you're right in front of us. Thank you for never leaving us. Thank you for being ready when we are ready. Thank you for placing positive individuals in our lives to help us connect and lean on you through them.

Father God, I cannot imagine where my life would have ended up if I didn't lean on you. I cannot relate to depression because I believe you are the greatest anti-depressant money doesn't have to buy. I cannot imagine living a life of pessimism, despair, anger, loss, or confusion. I pity those stuck in the darkness and pray I can be used as a vessel to help lead them to your light. I pray you continue protecting those who are not ready to trust in you, but use those who care about them to lead them to a positive, loving relationship with you, our wonderful Counselor.

I love you.

Day of Comfort

When we learn someone is suffering from physical ailments or emotional pains, we hope for comfort and healing. Often those around us offer their thoughts, prayers, and words of support, but expect some otherworldly source to actual provide it. In fact, I'm ashamed to admit, but I've used the coined phrase "I'm praying for you," but only in the moment did I actually pray. Think for a moment when you've shared such words. Was it the standard response, a nicety if you will? Did you fully intend to pray, but failed to execute beyond saying those words? Did you genuinely spend time with God asking for His healing hand on those suffering.

This week marks another death of someone for whom I cared deeply, my former father-in-law. Regardless of the circumstances causing my divorce, my daughter's dad and I are friendly. I remain up-to-date on the ups and downs of his family as he has of mine. I'm thankful we have a mature relationship like this, if nothing more than to demonstrate to our children how to interact with others by showing God's love even when it's difficult or against human response.

I pray as this family receives an outpouring of condolences and offers of prayer, these words are genuine. I pray prayers of comfort and healing are extended to God with expectation He, in fact, can heal. The loss of a father (in my case, a grandfather who was like my father) doesn't get easier. I visit my grandfather's gravesite twice a year and ball my eyes out nearly six years later. But, with time and through God's loving hands the loss is easier to cope. 

Day 72: Heavenly Father, thank you for your love and support, comfort and healing. Thank you for always being available for our needs, but requiring us to reach to you. Thank you for your grace when we so often take you for granted and just expect this and that without putting in any work.

Lord, I pray you wrap your loving arms around this family consumed with grief at the loss of their patriarch. I know he is with you in the kingdom; what great warmth that brings to my heart. But, God, our loss of his presence is still painful. Although we should be celebrating with adoration and joy his physical battles are over and you've called your son home, but our loss of his presence is still painful. Even though without a doubt he is with you enjoying Georgia peach ice cream and sharing his orneriness, without being able to turn to watch him, our loss of his presence is still painful.

So, Father God, my plea is for comfort. Heal our despairing hearts as we mourn the loss of a compassionate, loving man. Dry our countless tears as we celebrate his life, but regret all those who did not get the pleasure of his acquaintance. Lift our bittersweet spirits as we joyously lift him to you, but desire to pull him back for one last smile, one last hug, one last kiss. Strengthen our worn bodies as the dust settles, the grieving overwhelms, and reality sets in. Despite our human grief, I am comforted to know your devoted servant trusted his life to you and ran into your arms when he was finally home.

I love you.

Day of Praying

I want to share with you two examples of how the power of prayer can reap life changing blessings! One may be considered trivial, but I hope it provides a small glimpse of how listening can benefit a relationship. The other may be one of the greatest examples of how circling needs and wants in prayer can deliver miraculous intervention by God!

The first relates to a birthday present for my daughter (in my opinion, helping to create lasting memories for your children can have fundamental impacts on their lives). My daughter told me last year she looks forward to my presents because they are meaningful to her (I think she said something like she doesn't even know she wants them until she received them...yikes, pretty tall order!) As such, each year can sometimes be a little difficult coming up with something more unique than say a shirt or something. With my daughter returning from a mission trip to Macedonia where she was sharing the message of Jesus Christ, I wanted to think of something to help encourage her on her faith journey. I "stalked" tons of Christian artists and a few athletes to share in a birthday memory for her. Basically, I didn't want anything of monetary value given to her, but rather a shout out in the form of phone call, text, or tweet wishing her a happy 15th and an encouraging word to motivate her. With no response, I became discouraged and concerned I would not be able to live up to her expectation of "knowing her well enough." I prayed! I asked for God's help if not to lay on the hearts of a few to respond, then to lay on my heart a replacement idea. At the closing of my brother's memorial service, God answered! I received an email from the Sidewalk Prophets asking for my daughter's contact information! Incredible!! David Fray, lead singer of the group, not only called her and left a wonderful message wishing her a happy birthday and encouraging her to live in Christ, but also he sang to her. Incredible!! Total bonus, Jamie Grace tweeted Happy Birthday to my daughter and the sweetest young artist on the planet, Gracie Schram, texted a message and picture wishing her a great birthday! This is an example of relying on God, going to Him in prayer, and trusting in His plan!

The second example relates to a friend who has struggled in her relationship with her mother. We connect on so many levels, sometimes we find it uncanny...totally God's guiding hand!! I've been praying for her and mentioned her situation in past prayers. She faced a tough childhood and has been estranged from her mother for years. Not having been as close to my own mother as I would've liked in my earlier years, I can relate to the loss and hurt she feels. But, the beautiful relationship with my mother now is a testament to God's healing power when you trust in Him, His healing, and His timing. It's scary to open yourself and potentially be vulnerable to hurt again. What I've advised my friend is if you trust God and His protection, nothing is too great for His healing, even a lifetime of estrangement and bitterness from childhood pains. I learned last week (I cried and was completely overwhelmed with God bumps), my friend plans to spend Thanksgiving with her mother and brother. She hasn't seen them in years, but is willing to let go of control and trust God to guide her. What a miraculous transformation and opportunity for all involved!! Praise God!!

Day 91: Heavenly Father, thank you for listening when I call out to you! Thank you for answering my prayers no matter how trivial they may seem. Thank you for your timing to work in relationships and build up what we can never do on our own.

Lord, I am indebted to you. All I want to do is praise you for all you do for me and every situation for which I reach out to you for intervention! I cannot help others without you! I am ashamed for claiming to "be the one" who has helped others when it is and has always been you. Thank you! My words are your words; my actions are your actions. Forgive me for any moment I have claimed victory in successes based on my words or efforts. You provide the wisdom to help others; you provide the strength and encouragement to support others. I am merely your humble servant. Thank you for working through me!

Father God, you know what is in our hearts. I used to believe this was good enough. But, I've learned you want us to prayerfully proclaim what we need to demonstrate our trust in you to answer our prayers. If we cannot proclaim verbally to you, then we must not believe wholeheartedly you can fulfill what we are seeking from you. I ask for you to keep working in me to reach to you openly and loudly!!

I love you.

Gracie Schram

http://www.gracieschram.com/?page_id=10

Day of Burdens

Whew! Life can sure feel overwhelming at times, especially when you struggle with the two-letter word NO. Like many, I don't want to disappoint and feel honored when I'm asked to join something or help in some capacity. Eventually, however, I just get overstretched and overwhelmed.

As a response, I feel the commitments I already have made are burdensome and I resent them. I don't like resentment; it's kind of a foreign word for me, but I still experience it. The last couple of weeks revealed just how bothersome the resentment was when I started feeling this blog was a burden! Omgoodness, I cried. Seriously!! This is supposed to be my conversation with my Father in Heaven, how could that be a burden? Yet, it was!

As the last couple of weeks have moved along, they've been filled with flurry of activity. My exhaustion got to the point where I couldn't even keep my eyes open to write my daily prayers. One day ran into the next until now I'm a week behind and feeling like I've disappointed God for not spending time with Him, disappointed myself for not meeting my commitment, and disappointed others who may look forward to my daily prayer (I know there's one of you out there).

Thankfully, during a hallway discussion with a friend and my weekly community group on discipling, I was reminded of two things: 1) Don't stress about making up your prayers. If you feel compelled to catch up, do it a little at a time, there are many days left in the year to reach 365 prayers, 2) God doesn't expect you to put restrictions on yourself to read two chapters a day in the Bible or write a prayer a day for the year if all it does is show you've completed something. He wants us getting more from the Bible than just saying we've read it and more from our prayers than just checking off we said them.

Day 83: Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me despite my many misgivings. Thank you for surrounding me with lovely people reminding me to K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid). Thank you for your grace when the only energy I have is to muster the name of Jesus!

Lord, why do I struggle with pleasing others? Countless people can "just say no," why can't I? In hindsight, I can analyze myself so easily and say "you can't do everything to please everyone because when you can't fulfill your commitments, you'll disappoint those you were trying to please in the first place." It's so easy and I could counsel with such words to anyone, but arrogantly I find myself above them in some way. I fear disappointing others. I fear what others might think if I can't handle it all. I fear having to ask others to change what they expect of me. The common words, I fear! How ridiculous!!

Father God, you've shown me countless times if I trust in you, I shall not fear. I should not fear saying no if that little word allows me to spend time with you. I should not fear saying no if it provides me more time to commit fully to things for which I've volunteered. I should not fear saying no if that word releases burdens and uplifts my spirit. Please help me, Lord, to practice what I preach. Please help me to learn to say no and avoid self-imposed burdens when I'm stretched too far. Please help me remain centered on you and help me trust everything I need will fall into place.

God, I pray for friends, family, and strangers who struggle with NO. I pray they experience a glimpse of life without burden. I know it and have lived it...I need the kick to get back to it!

I love you.

Source: 

http://latinopm.com/features/its-okay-to-say-no-4058

Day of Following

Over the last couple of months, our pastor's messages have resonated with me to show love. As I mentioned a few days ago, I firmly believe God's timing is intentional for where I am in my life. After the loss of my brother, something had to change. I could no longer show God's love at arm's length or in a constant state of prefacing every interaction with "this is just what I believe."

Then, came the sermons :-) First, prayer, not in theory, but practical application. Second, Jesus Christ, all attributes: teacher, miracle worker, rebel, leader, Savior. Third, Holy Spirit, the who and the why. Presently, Disciples, how can we multiply and exponentially transform lives through the two greatest commandments: Love God and love each other. Perhaps, Pastor Scott didn't have a roadmap getting us specifically to multiply disciples, but I firmly believe God's plan was calculated and fulfilled intentionally through our pastor! What an honor to follow this "yellow brick road" to build others for the glory of God!

Day 70: Heavenly Father, thank you for your faithfulness in your people to commit to your Word:

"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20 NIV)

Lord, considering who you are and the power bestowed on the original disciples, it's difficult to wrap my mind around being able to have the same impact. I'm not the most knowledgable, I have doubts in my abilities, and I am scared of rejection. But, I trust you, God. I place my life before you and I am prepared to receive your wisdom to answer the tough questions, I embrace what we spiritual gift you've provided (even hospitality), and I find comfort knowing rejection itself is out of others' fears of needed changes in their lives. I fall to my knees in awe of your greatness! 

I love you.

Day of Lint

That's right, my prayer tonight is about lint or at least what it represents in our lives! As you may know, today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of the Christian season of Lent.

I like this definition of Lent from Faith United Methodist Church:

Lent is a season where we may follow the example of Christ to quiet ourselves before God, spend time in prayer, and to free up some of the "cluttered" time in our life to allow more time for our relationship with God. 

Okay, Jasmine! But, what does Lent have to do with lint? Pastor Patti delivered a vivid analogy this evening capturing the connection perfectly. First, we must admit and accept, we are sinners. There's no sugar coating this; we are! This prayer is not intended to focus on our imperfections, but rather to be realistic that humans are imperfect. However, through God's grace and taking on the sins of the world through His Son, we are forgiven.

With this forgiveness, comes responsibility to work toward removing elements from our lives impairing us from fulfilling God's great plan!

So, back to the lint. Dryers are designed to "trap" lint before it reaches the motor, which could diminish the dryer's functioning, or worse, cause fires. However, in order to gain the benefits of the traps, they must be cleared of buildup. The buildup reduces air circulation, causing the motor to overheat, increasing drying time, and increasing energy costs.

Similarly, we need to clear out the "lint traps" of our lives. Without this cleansing, the buildup consumes us, not letting the Spirit proper access to us. When we "block" the Spirit's access, the "lint" can overwhelm us and potentially pull us away from God.

During Lent, many Christians give up or (or take on) something during the 40-day season. Through sacrifice, we learn to resist temptation. Through prayer, we redirect our attention from our selfish, distracted lives and focus our attention toward God. Through repentance, we admit our sins, ask for God's forgiveness, and experience God's great gift of grace.

Day 64: Heavenly Father, thank you for your grace and mercy. I wish I could say today I did not sin; but, I know I did. For this, I ask your forgiveness. Thank you for working through your pastoral servant to deliver a profound explanation for Lent for which we can relate clearly.

Lord, I have made efforts in years past to participate actively in the sacrifice, penance, and reflection of this season. However, these efforts predominately involved giving up Starbucks. As you know, I love coffee. But, I've realized, not drinking my favorite coffee for a few weeks really hasn't changed me. I've been focused the last few months on embracing fully your two greatest commandments...loving you and loving others. As I thought about something that may fundamentally transform me, I realized paying it forward may express God's love in ways I can't imagine.

Father God, thank you for the clarity needed this morning to embark on a 40-day journey of paying it forward. It may not seem like much, but each time someone has bought my coffee in the morning, the kindness has literally altered positively my outlook for the entire day. If I can brighten the days of 40 people, could daily outlooks transform exponentially? Omgoodness, the potential of one small gesture of your love and generosity extended to someone could affect hundreds. I pray to be a part of such an impact.

Thank you for the opportunity to serve you daily. Thank you for sharing Christ's experience in the desert which encourages me to focus specifically on the temptations and distractions keeping me from you. Thank you for your mercy and grace!

I love you.

Day of Pursuit

When you think of things you've pursued with your whole heart, what things come to mind? Some might say a career, a status, a spouse, or a family. How often to you hear someone say Jesus?

I'm reading an eye-opening book right now titled "Not a Fan." It challenges the reader to determine whether or not she is a follower of Jesus or simply a fan. It's a difficult read because I view myself as a follower, but appear to be falling in line with many fans. At first I found this quite disheartening, but soon realized, it's ok. Recognition is the first step to change! 

Sometimes, I think maybe my openness regarding faith and my priorities in life have those who care about me concerned I'm "taking it too far." But, that's just where we differ in opinion (and I love their concern). For me, it's an all or none thing! Either I am fully committed to my relationship with Jesus Christ or I'm not. It's no different than a marriage. You're either all in, fully committed to the one with whom you've shared vows or you're not. Commitment isn't a part way, I'll give 75% of myself contract. It is giving all of you because you expect the same in return. The cool thing about this relationship with Christ, you don't have to worry about whether He was a man of His word!

Day 48: Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me before you even knew me. I understand the magnitude of this by loving my girls wholeheartedly before I even knew their names. Thank you for your faithfulness in me even when I appear to be a fan of yours.

Lord, am I on the right path to be called a follower? I know there isn't a checklist, but rather a point in time when I won't feel like I need to ask. I want to be like your disciples, dropping EVERYTHING when you said "follow me." Lately, I feel this transition within me desiring more...more knowledge, more prayer, more involvement, more commitment, more goose bumps. Perhaps, this is my "follow me" moment?

Father God, please provide me the clarity to pursue you through all the distractions. Please provide me the drive to remain when the aha! moments aren't constant. Please provide me the commitment to your teachings when there's an easier way out. I am in pursuit of you, your Son, and your Spirit. Just call me the Trinity Stalker!

I love you.

Source: http://www.ccfla.com/knowing-god-my-lifes-ultimate-pursuit/

Day of Gratitude

I want to say thank you. Thank you to my family and friends who support me, love me, and tolerate me. Thank you to my coworkers who challenge me and collaborate respectfully. Thank you to my mentors for believing in me and helping me find opportunities. Thank you to my pastors for sharing their calling with me. Thank you to my current church family and to those with whom I once worshipped. Thank you to the military for providing me the opportunity to serve such a magnificent nation. Thank you to my teachers who believed in me. Thank you to my coaches who encouraged me to work hard and persevere, no matter what the challenge. Thank you to my girls' daddies for helping me bring two beautiful young ladies into the world. Thank you to my pets for their unconditional love. Thank you to my daughters for their trust in me to guide them down a positive path.

It's incredible the many things for which to be thankful. Try to remember, you don't have to wait to talk to God only if you need something. Take a moment today to thank Him for all He's provided. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded.

Day 41: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me a life rich with blessings. I may not be wealthy, famous, or breathtaking, but I am far more fulfilled and satisfied with all you provide. The richest gems are usually hidden in the rough, thank you for requiring me to seek them out. I think it is through this discovery, I am more appreciative and attentive.

God, can you use me to help others view our amazing lives with our glasses half full? How can I be of service to you in this endeavor? Please bless me with the right words to encourage others to see the beauty of life right in front of them!

Thank you, Father God, for all you have already provided and will provide. I trust in you and am faithful to your teachings.

I love you.

Day of Love

Haha! Before we get all "what does she mean?" on me, let me clarify, this prayer is after witnessing something wonderful today at the gym.

When you were younger, did you envision yourself meeting someone, falling in love, and spending the rest of your days together? Well, at least many of us girls had these dreams!! Unfortunately, nearly half of marriages end in divorce; but, on the flip side, that means half of all marriages are going strong! This brings great joy to my heart to know for some, their vows were more than just words. 

Today, as I was doing my own little triathlon (in all the wrong order because my swimsuit was frozen and had to thaw...I'm a dork), I witnessed something extraordinarily beautiful. An older couple was walking hand-in-hand on the indoor track. They were even wearing the same shade of shirts and pants. How wonderful!! After all their years together, still holding hands!!!

Upon my second divorce, I was adamant I would never put myself in a similar situation again. In my pain, I claimed "I'd rather stay at bat, than strike out." But, as the pain diminished and I really started examining God's love, I recognized God doesn't want us to be alone. He designed us to be in relationship with someone. Who knows what great things God has in store for each of us, but I know I'm getting out of His way and just trust Him, even if it's a little scary.

Day 39: Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us out of love. I am filled with an abundance of joy knowing love was your motivation for me, my family, my friends, my church, all your people. Thank you for demonstrating the amazing benefits sharing love for others can bring. 

Lord, your Son's unfettered love for the broken should be a testament that everyone deserves to be loved. Can you reach down and comfort the estranged? Can you massage the hearts of those hurting and remind them of your presence and support? Please heal their brokenhearts and rescue them from their loneliness. Father, please lead us to a place to know love does still exist for each of us.

Father God, there is too much pain and suffering in this world binding people from experiencing the love you expect us to share. How do we overcome these burdens? I pray anyone who shared my sentiment about future relationships learns how reactionary that stance is and not your expectation of us. Thank you for loving me at my highest, lowest, and all points in between. I feel your wrapped arms around my heart and know you protect your children even when we may feel we're alone.

I love you.

Day of Opportunity

When you embark on a journey such as maintaining a blog, I don't think you really know what to expect. There might be some people who anticipate massive doting fans or others who only expect family and a few friends to peruse the blog periodically. Either expectation is totally fine in my humble opinion! Surprisingly, my number one priority has been me (for those of you who know me, saying my goal has been about me may contrast with my normal stance on things...shocker!!). Perhaps, I sound selfish, but when it comes to improving my prayer life, I'm totally okay with sounding selfish!

Even though my primary goal has been to improve my relationship with God, I did have a semblance of hope that maybe my little blog could help introduce someone to God, provide someone support in his daily walks with Christ, or help someone through a challenge by way of my own experiences. I never expected this public display of my prayer life would open up so many opportunities to transform others. Holy cow!! I'm completely humbled by the warm responses I have received thus far and fall to God's amazing power to work through His children in spreading His love.

Day 38: Heavenly Father, thank you for your continued presence with me every day. Sometimes, I don't know what to say to you; sometimes, I feel a little lost. But, Father, you always know exactly what needs to be said and when. I'm thankful I shut up long enough to hear you!!

God, why did you choose me? I feel inadequate in so many ways. I'm not a biblical expert. I can't quote scripture like many others. I've made many many mistakes. I falter daily. Father, why do I get to be the one to help guide others to a better understanding of you? Why do I get this opportunity to help initiate discussions about you? How do I speak to your plan, expectation, infinite wisdom when I am so little in comparison to your magnificence? Lord, why have you bestowed me this blessing when there are an infinite number of people more educated, more compassionate, more eloquent with their speech? 

Father God, you have blessed me beyond measure! I pray this little public display of prayer benefits others as much as it has me. I am your servant and am open to all the opportunities this blog presents. Thank you for choosing me for this important task.

I love you.

Day of Children

I think it's pretty clear, I adore my children. No, those are not paid actors who let me use their pictures! After my relationship with God, my girls are the most precious relationships in my life. Whose children aren't? You'd actually be surprised!

I'm aghast at the number marriages ending in bitterness and children becoming the pawns of negotiation. It should be the exception to hear "oh, you're sitting at a sporting event with your ex? I could never do that!" This is actually the norm and it shocks me! I've gone through two divorces and in neither situation did it even occur to me to use my children to get back at their dads for some reason. In fact, I would say I probably endure extra uncomfortableness on occasion in order to ensure my girls do not feel they are pitted against either parent. I'm not trying to win brownie points here! What I am pointing out is despite all the pains and hurts from divorce, the adults are the ones parting ways, it has nothing to do with the children. Our society needs to stop using our children for agendas against another parent and learn to work together for the good of the children involved!

Day 37: Heavenly Father, thank you for ensuring my eyes were open to surrender to the needs of my children even when it meant sacrificing something for me. I am indebted to you for my maternal gene. I wonder if me being a mommy and doing things selflessly for my girls despite not having an appropriate relationship with my own mother to emulate was your plan all along.

God, please provide comfort to those with whom I care deeply who are facing the divorcee battles and agendas. Please remind them that you are the source of strength to make appropriate decisions to best fit the needs of their children. 

Lord, we need some help down here! Holy Spirit, please work within those with whom I'm concerned are stuck under the crud of resentment, anger, bitterness, jadedness, and hatred. Father in Heaven, there's an easier way; please, help them see it!! I trust in you and pray others can too!

I love you.

Day of Realness

I think many of us have concealed ourselves at one point or another. Sometimes it's out of shame, other times out of embarrassment. I know for me in the past, I've lost myself in situations, also becoming like a chameleon to the interests of others. It's ok if you want to try new things, but definitely not healthy if you are trying to appease someone out of fear of not being liked or angering someone.

This year has been a pivotal transition for me, I'm so thankful. For once, it seems I am just comfortable with me, what my priorities are, and what God expects of me. When I learn others are also being true to themselves, it brings me such joy! Be who God made you to be, not what society wants you to be! I listened to a fantastic sermon a while back. The tag line was "are you the person you're looking for is looking for." I can say proudly, I am.

Day 36: Heavenly Father, thank you for making it easy to know you. Thank you for being the center of my life and the work you're doing within me and those for whom I care deeply. 

Lord, what can I do to be a better servant for you? How can I help teach others to be less concerned about the stuff of this life and focus on loving enough to get into the next life.

Father God, I don't want to be restrained by my own fear. Please continue laying on my heart the benefits of realness and motivate me when I falter. It brings such relaxation to my spirit to know I am being all I can be for your army!

I love you.

Day of Relationship

I feel like I'm on the verge of an epiphany. I'm not quite there yet, but as I've tried to embrace what God's true expectation is of me, I'm getting this sense (thank you Holy Spirit, my counselor) I'm close to opening a door which could fundamentally transform my relationship with God and, subsequently, all my relationships.

Several sermons ago, Scott explained God's two greatest commandments: 

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV)

Of course, I've read this scripture countless times, but I'm not sure I heard it. God makes it pretty clear He wants to "do life with us!" He wants to be in relationship with us! I'd say He values relationship quite a bit, eh? 

So, here I am in life trying to follow some rules thinking somehow it will trigger this ethereal connection with God. The reality, I've been so focused on the rules, I've likely missed countless relationships in which I could feel a greater connection to God and His expectation for my life. I'm not saying, I'm gonna go hog wild sinnin' left and right as long as I am doing it in relation with others (wait, what?? 😳). What I'm saying is I'm going to use my relationships to help one another feel a genuine, loving connection with our Heavenly Father.

Day 35: Heavenly Father, thank you for this aha moment! Is this what you have been seeking all along? Have I had my priorities out of whack? Please forgive me for my blinders and countless missed opportunities.

It seems too simple, God! You are all powerful, full of wisdom, and creativity! Why don't you require us to follow some complicated schematic to fulfill your plan? Why do we complicate things? Are we products of our childhoods learning right from wrong, dos and don'ts, and we just follow this paradigm into adulthood? No wonder so many are lost!

But, Father God, you have provided us the lessons, guidance, and play-by-play all along. We've just misinterpreted. I pray I am hearing you clearly and can get out of my own way with all the self imposed restrictions in order to be one with you. My relationship with you, Father, is by far the most important in my life because everything benefits positively!

I love you.