Day of Tables

This morning I awakened with that "need to flip the tables in the temple" kind of anger. If you haven't deduced from my other prayers, I'm a relatively slow to anger kind of person. Don't let me deceive you, I can certainly get angry, have been angry, and will be angered by something in the future. However, for the most part, my anger generally gets compartmentalized in order to deal with an immediate situation. Whether it be me figuring out how I'm going to move forward from a situation or how I can help comfort and support a loved one who's been wronged, I often respond as a fixer and deal with the anger later. The issue with this is when the anger surfaces, it's a little delayed, out of the blue, and doesn't seem connected to anything I'm facing at the moment.

I'm not sure what was the catalyst that brought my anger to the forefront, but it may have been a fantastic sermon delivered by our pastor Sunday. Among other things, he highlighted our call as Christians to love EVERYONE. Sure, in the big picture, I can embrace this fully and will share similarly with others. However, when I consider it at a personal level, I'm disheartened knowing I have a difficult time applying this principle toward someone who has hurt one of my children. 

My anger revolves around the pain suffered at the hands of selfishness. My anger resonates from the lack of recognition and protective reaction to the severity of a situation. My anger haunts me with painful childhood memories I'd like left in the past. My anger centers on my inability to protect my children from the evils of this world. 

Thankfully, I'm not ashamed of my anger because I don't think Jesus was ashamed of His. I think it demonstrates my passionate desire to avoid pain and injustice for me and others. However, releasing the anger appropriately can be the our turning point to or away from God. I turned to God today and shared my anger, sadness, and weakness. My human side desperately longs to react with physical harm to demonstrate the protective momma bear instinct. But, such an action might seem fulfilling in the moment, but later on would multiply my anger and sadness tenfold. Instead, I leaned on the One with whom my battles are fought. Instead, I sent my pleas toward Heaven begging for His protective intervention. Instead, I longed for His wisdom to calm my anguish and let the angry moment pass.

I beg of you friends, when you're at a point of flipping the tables, lean on our Heavenly Father for His direction and guidance. No matter how strong or right you think you are, ultimately, God's strength is greater and His rightness is perfect!! Trust Him to talk you down from the ledge of reactionary emotion.

Day 103: Heavenly Father, thank you for your constant presence. Thank you for slowing my reaction to the powerful emotion of anger to experience the benefits of paused reaction. Thank you for your wisdom, protection, and strength.

Lord, it is in these moments of raw humanness we have the opportunity to trust in your power. All too often, we think we know how to fix situations or gain some sort of vindication. The reality is we only create more chaos and dismay. I appreciate each emotion you've provided and the challenge to turn toward you when we are faced with the WWJD question. Today was an interesting one given Jesus quite literally flipped the tables in anger; however, it would seem in what may to me seem the greatest anguish, disrespecting your temple outweighs any concerns of mine.

Father God, your timing is impeccable. You spoke through Pastor Scott on Sunday to love all your creation...all of them...even the ones toward whom I may have anger. You rocked my foundation and loosened the anger I've compartmentalized. I'm still angry, Lord. But, I know through time and with your direction, this too shall pass.

Father, when your Son lay shredded and bloodied, were you angry? Did you desire vindication for your child? Did you feel sad or at a loss for what to do? In some selfish way, I hope we shared in our reactions to the harm of our children. Selfishly, it helps me feel connected to you in an unexplainable way.

I love you.

Source: http://thebiblicalinspirational.blogspot.com/2010/10/love-language-minute-handling-anger-in.html?m=1

Day of Character

Life can sure throw curveballs, can't it? How we respond to those curveballs demonstrates our character! Of course, it's easy to lash out in anger spewing hateful words or retreat into a world of self pity. What's more difficult is being able to roll with the punches! This ability to not let the curveballs have a long-term, negative effect on one's demeanor not only demonstrates the epitome of respectable character, but also portrays the way God wants us to display love even to those causing harm.

I'll be the first to admit, I have to work actively in this area. As with many, my initial angst can resonate and fuel a desire to lash out against the curveballs. But, if I'm able to keep it contained long enough, there's an opportunity to calm down, go through the pros/cons of response, and consider how Jesus would want me to respond. Don't get me wrong, anger is a perfectly natural response (hello, Jesus + temple = anger). Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I don't think having anger is innately sinful. It's how we respond to such anger that gets us into trouble.

Here are a couple of examples. Say you lose your job. You're rightfully hurt and angry. You hold onto this "injustice" into your next interview. In the conversation, you're asked about previous employment. Because of the bitterness you've retained, you bad mouth your former employer. Holding on to that bitterness and anger costs you a new job. Instead, you could proclaim the past is in the past, be selectively cautious in accepting a position which may have parallel circumstances, and consider this a new opportunity.

Another example is my daughter's mature approach to her sports dilemma this season. She's not a quitter, but most kids by now would have thrown in the towel. Her coach has been less than supportive of her academics, disengages from any mentoring opportunities to improve my daughter's skills, and takes for granted the positive energy brought to the team by my daughter's support for her team. I hit a last straw moment last week from yet more snide comments from my daughter's coach regarding her academics. I told my daughter she needs to speak her mind, stand up for herself, and not let the coach be a bully. I let my anger and protection for my daughter cloud my judgement of teaching her about character and rising above. Thankfully, her maturity came out far beyond mine. She said she's not going to say anything this season. She won't quite, will cheer for her team, and be available should the coach want to sub her into a game. After the season, she'll work to improve her skills, try out next year, and let her coach witness the opportunities she's missed this year. That's character, folks! She's demonstrating God's love by not lashing out with emotion, but rather creating a calculated opportunity to show through her own behavior how athletes should interact with one another.

Day 97: Heavenly Father, thank you for placing pauses in my thoughts to gain my composure when I want to respond immediately to curveballs. Thank you for building such character in my daughter and the daily lessons I learn from her.

Lord, I ask for the Spirit to wash over my thoughts when I'm angry. I ask for the Spirit's comforting presence when I feel on the defensive. I ask for your wisdom to express my concerns objectively. I ask for refreshing reminders of Jesus' interactions with the Pharisees to emulate true character.

Father God, I am thankful for my daughter's maturity, but wish she could just enjoy being a teenager. I am in awe of her character, but wish she didn't have to experience so many situations requiring her to display wisdom beyond her years. I know you have an amazing plan for her life, but if I could ask for her shielding of some difficult situations, I would be indebted. I trust your plans for all of us and pray for your protection of my daughter from burning out before her life even really begins.

I love you.

Source: http://aheartforthehome.com/character-first-curriculum-review-give-away/

Day of Forgiveness

Despite God's call for us to forgive those who have harmed us in some way, it's difficult, don't you think? An easier said than done type scenario! From the human perspective, there is something about forgiving someone for a transgression against us that's unsettling. I think we fear if we are still hurt by the other person's actions we can't grant forgiveness, or somehow by forgiving we're lessening the responsibility of the other person's wrongdoing. In reality, forgiveness is really about the victim.

After my second divorce, I was convinced there was no way I was ever going to be able to forgive such actions because of the damaging effects of lost trust; the pain, and anger were so prevalent. Thankfully, I realized (by way of God beating me upside the head with messages about forgiveness for a month) not being able to forgive was making me resentful, jaded, angry, and bitter. I humbly submit, none of these characteristics describe me. When I notice something about my demeanor that is really outside of the everyday Jasmine, I try to stop and take notice. Of course, I'm certainly human experiencing similar responses to painful situations like everyone else. But, if I'm the vicitim, I am more irritated that the actions of the other person have thrown my loving, positive, cheerful demeanor off-kilter. This is where ownership comes into play.

You can choose to let the anger, hurt, and resentment consume you and all future relationships or you can forgive the person proclaiming "I'm not letting the pain caused by your actions hold me back any longer." Of course, it's a gift to the other person as well, don't worry...it's okay. How many times has God granted us forgiveness, mercy, and grace when we have been so clearly undeserving? Sometimes, in order to help ourselves move forward positively, we might have to allow someone else to move forward as well. It's okay to show a little bit of God love even to the transgressor...I promise no harm will come to you.

Here is a challenge: consider one relationship for which anger, irritation, and hurt resonate when you think about the person. Objectively examine the situation. Write out the pros/cons for forgiving the person. Ask God for the wisdom to know how to forgive; for His embrace as you step outside your comfort zone; and, let God work through your pen to draft a letter to the person proclaiming your forgiveness. It's important to list out each wrong and proclaim I FORGIVE YOU! That's it! You release it! You don't have to think about all the wrongs and pains once you forgive. They no longer keep you hostage from experiencing the loving  positivity God seeks from us!

Speaking from experience here: the burdens literally weighing down your shoulders will be lifted. You don't forget what happened, but the sting of it gets a little easier. This is extremely important when divorced parents are raising children. Remember: what happened between the parents should never interfere with their mutual love for their children!

Day 81: Heavenly Father, thank you for not giving up on me when you knew it was time to forgive. Thank you for working in me to share this message of hope and reflection for others. I ask for direction to forgive the two other people in my life I still cannot bear to release the weight of their transgressions.

God, strangely, the bitterness and anger originating from hurt feel like they provide some protective shield for our already broken emotions. However, despite the initial safety we might feel in such a protective bubble, it's so fragile and eventually pops. From here, we're left vulnerable, lost, and disconnected. Save us from ourselves, Lord! Lay on our hearts the DESIRE to forgive, not just the OBLIGATION to do so. 

Father God, I pray my relationship with my ex-husband can be a testament to those who are stuck in the worldly expectations of how people should interact if they've hurt one another. Thank you for healing broken hearts and providing opportunities to show your love in all things. Without your wisdom, direction, and grace, my little one would not witness two friendly parents who can put their history aside to care for their daughter. 

Thank you for instilling changes within your people and guiding our temporary lives in this world to love you and love others.

I love you.

Source: http://acelebrationofwomen.org/2013/03/does-forgiveness-really-matter%E2%80%8F/

Day of Fears

Facing your fears can be overwhelming for adults, let alone children. Knowing my eldest had to face fears this week for which I can personally relate from my own childhood, brought about not only anger she endured anything remotely similar to my experiences, but also comfort my experiences lended themselves to encouraging words of support (I hope).

As you've read in other prayer posts, she's a strong, young lady and exceedingly more mature than I was at her age. But, fear is fear! Whether you're 14 or 38, we respond similarly. You feel vulnerable, unprotected, and unsafe. You're full of hurt, anxiety, and anger. This is what my darling daughter faced this week. With strength from God and an overarching call to show love even when it hurts, she's one step closer to those fears being behind her.

Day 76: Heavenly Father, thank you for your protective embrace that enveloped my daughter this week. Your presence provided a calming touch to her heightened fears and emotions. Thank you for placing her in my care and providing me the appropriate words to help comfort her spirit.

God, fear consumes us with irrational responses. It instigates reactions based often on emotion. Fear invokes a sense of urgency for response. Even in safe, protective cocoons, it jumbles our thoughts and emotions and forces us to respond to an invisible presence. It seems to get in our heads and transform fiction into factual intruders attacking our protective walls. Only through the strength and trust in your armor can we truly and finally defeat our fears. Please teach us to pick up your shield and fight the battle. When we are able to break through the mirage of attack with which fear surrounds us, we will experience a tranquility for which no demon of fear can penetrate. 

Father God, as hard as it is, I pray for you to reveal the roles and consequences of those who instill fear. Oftentimes, they are oblivious to their actions which potentially cause lasting, detrimental impact. I pity them, Lord, and ask for your revealing power to invoke honest, self evaluation which could be the pivotal point of transition in their lives. It is only through you, God, they will have integrity, ask forgiveness, and follow a new path.

I love you.

Day of Children

I think it's pretty clear, I adore my children. No, those are not paid actors who let me use their pictures! After my relationship with God, my girls are the most precious relationships in my life. Whose children aren't? You'd actually be surprised!

I'm aghast at the number marriages ending in bitterness and children becoming the pawns of negotiation. It should be the exception to hear "oh, you're sitting at a sporting event with your ex? I could never do that!" This is actually the norm and it shocks me! I've gone through two divorces and in neither situation did it even occur to me to use my children to get back at their dads for some reason. In fact, I would say I probably endure extra uncomfortableness on occasion in order to ensure my girls do not feel they are pitted against either parent. I'm not trying to win brownie points here! What I am pointing out is despite all the pains and hurts from divorce, the adults are the ones parting ways, it has nothing to do with the children. Our society needs to stop using our children for agendas against another parent and learn to work together for the good of the children involved!

Day 37: Heavenly Father, thank you for ensuring my eyes were open to surrender to the needs of my children even when it meant sacrificing something for me. I am indebted to you for my maternal gene. I wonder if me being a mommy and doing things selflessly for my girls despite not having an appropriate relationship with my own mother to emulate was your plan all along.

God, please provide comfort to those with whom I care deeply who are facing the divorcee battles and agendas. Please remind them that you are the source of strength to make appropriate decisions to best fit the needs of their children. 

Lord, we need some help down here! Holy Spirit, please work within those with whom I'm concerned are stuck under the crud of resentment, anger, bitterness, jadedness, and hatred. Father in Heaven, there's an easier way; please, help them see it!! I trust in you and pray others can too!

I love you.