Day of Tables

This morning I awakened with that "need to flip the tables in the temple" kind of anger. If you haven't deduced from my other prayers, I'm a relatively slow to anger kind of person. Don't let me deceive you, I can certainly get angry, have been angry, and will be angered by something in the future. However, for the most part, my anger generally gets compartmentalized in order to deal with an immediate situation. Whether it be me figuring out how I'm going to move forward from a situation or how I can help comfort and support a loved one who's been wronged, I often respond as a fixer and deal with the anger later. The issue with this is when the anger surfaces, it's a little delayed, out of the blue, and doesn't seem connected to anything I'm facing at the moment.

I'm not sure what was the catalyst that brought my anger to the forefront, but it may have been a fantastic sermon delivered by our pastor Sunday. Among other things, he highlighted our call as Christians to love EVERYONE. Sure, in the big picture, I can embrace this fully and will share similarly with others. However, when I consider it at a personal level, I'm disheartened knowing I have a difficult time applying this principle toward someone who has hurt one of my children. 

My anger revolves around the pain suffered at the hands of selfishness. My anger resonates from the lack of recognition and protective reaction to the severity of a situation. My anger haunts me with painful childhood memories I'd like left in the past. My anger centers on my inability to protect my children from the evils of this world. 

Thankfully, I'm not ashamed of my anger because I don't think Jesus was ashamed of His. I think it demonstrates my passionate desire to avoid pain and injustice for me and others. However, releasing the anger appropriately can be the our turning point to or away from God. I turned to God today and shared my anger, sadness, and weakness. My human side desperately longs to react with physical harm to demonstrate the protective momma bear instinct. But, such an action might seem fulfilling in the moment, but later on would multiply my anger and sadness tenfold. Instead, I leaned on the One with whom my battles are fought. Instead, I sent my pleas toward Heaven begging for His protective intervention. Instead, I longed for His wisdom to calm my anguish and let the angry moment pass.

I beg of you friends, when you're at a point of flipping the tables, lean on our Heavenly Father for His direction and guidance. No matter how strong or right you think you are, ultimately, God's strength is greater and His rightness is perfect!! Trust Him to talk you down from the ledge of reactionary emotion.

Day 103: Heavenly Father, thank you for your constant presence. Thank you for slowing my reaction to the powerful emotion of anger to experience the benefits of paused reaction. Thank you for your wisdom, protection, and strength.

Lord, it is in these moments of raw humanness we have the opportunity to trust in your power. All too often, we think we know how to fix situations or gain some sort of vindication. The reality is we only create more chaos and dismay. I appreciate each emotion you've provided and the challenge to turn toward you when we are faced with the WWJD question. Today was an interesting one given Jesus quite literally flipped the tables in anger; however, it would seem in what may to me seem the greatest anguish, disrespecting your temple outweighs any concerns of mine.

Father God, your timing is impeccable. You spoke through Pastor Scott on Sunday to love all your creation...all of them...even the ones toward whom I may have anger. You rocked my foundation and loosened the anger I've compartmentalized. I'm still angry, Lord. But, I know through time and with your direction, this too shall pass.

Father, when your Son lay shredded and bloodied, were you angry? Did you desire vindication for your child? Did you feel sad or at a loss for what to do? In some selfish way, I hope we shared in our reactions to the harm of our children. Selfishly, it helps me feel connected to you in an unexplainable way.

I love you.

Source: http://thebiblicalinspirational.blogspot.com/2010/10/love-language-minute-handling-anger-in.html?m=1

Day of Praying

I want to share with you two examples of how the power of prayer can reap life changing blessings! One may be considered trivial, but I hope it provides a small glimpse of how listening can benefit a relationship. The other may be one of the greatest examples of how circling needs and wants in prayer can deliver miraculous intervention by God!

The first relates to a birthday present for my daughter (in my opinion, helping to create lasting memories for your children can have fundamental impacts on their lives). My daughter told me last year she looks forward to my presents because they are meaningful to her (I think she said something like she doesn't even know she wants them until she received them...yikes, pretty tall order!) As such, each year can sometimes be a little difficult coming up with something more unique than say a shirt or something. With my daughter returning from a mission trip to Macedonia where she was sharing the message of Jesus Christ, I wanted to think of something to help encourage her on her faith journey. I "stalked" tons of Christian artists and a few athletes to share in a birthday memory for her. Basically, I didn't want anything of monetary value given to her, but rather a shout out in the form of phone call, text, or tweet wishing her a happy 15th and an encouraging word to motivate her. With no response, I became discouraged and concerned I would not be able to live up to her expectation of "knowing her well enough." I prayed! I asked for God's help if not to lay on the hearts of a few to respond, then to lay on my heart a replacement idea. At the closing of my brother's memorial service, God answered! I received an email from the Sidewalk Prophets asking for my daughter's contact information! Incredible!! David Fray, lead singer of the group, not only called her and left a wonderful message wishing her a happy birthday and encouraging her to live in Christ, but also he sang to her. Incredible!! Total bonus, Jamie Grace tweeted Happy Birthday to my daughter and the sweetest young artist on the planet, Gracie Schram, texted a message and picture wishing her a great birthday! This is an example of relying on God, going to Him in prayer, and trusting in His plan!

The second example relates to a friend who has struggled in her relationship with her mother. We connect on so many levels, sometimes we find it uncanny...totally God's guiding hand!! I've been praying for her and mentioned her situation in past prayers. She faced a tough childhood and has been estranged from her mother for years. Not having been as close to my own mother as I would've liked in my earlier years, I can relate to the loss and hurt she feels. But, the beautiful relationship with my mother now is a testament to God's healing power when you trust in Him, His healing, and His timing. It's scary to open yourself and potentially be vulnerable to hurt again. What I've advised my friend is if you trust God and His protection, nothing is too great for His healing, even a lifetime of estrangement and bitterness from childhood pains. I learned last week (I cried and was completely overwhelmed with God bumps), my friend plans to spend Thanksgiving with her mother and brother. She hasn't seen them in years, but is willing to let go of control and trust God to guide her. What a miraculous transformation and opportunity for all involved!! Praise God!!

Day 91: Heavenly Father, thank you for listening when I call out to you! Thank you for answering my prayers no matter how trivial they may seem. Thank you for your timing to work in relationships and build up what we can never do on our own.

Lord, I am indebted to you. All I want to do is praise you for all you do for me and every situation for which I reach out to you for intervention! I cannot help others without you! I am ashamed for claiming to "be the one" who has helped others when it is and has always been you. Thank you! My words are your words; my actions are your actions. Forgive me for any moment I have claimed victory in successes based on my words or efforts. You provide the wisdom to help others; you provide the strength and encouragement to support others. I am merely your humble servant. Thank you for working through me!

Father God, you know what is in our hearts. I used to believe this was good enough. But, I've learned you want us to prayerfully proclaim what we need to demonstrate our trust in you to answer our prayers. If we cannot proclaim verbally to you, then we must not believe wholeheartedly you can fulfill what we are seeking from you. I ask for you to keep working in me to reach to you openly and loudly!!

I love you.

Gracie Schram

http://www.gracieschram.com/?page_id=10