Day of Return

Wow! It's been a few months since I've posted my prayers. I've missed this forum! Where have I been you might ask? I think God might've been asking the same thing. Strangely, it wasn't as if I had some "shaking my fist" at Heaven period wondering where God was in my life. Thankfully, I know He's always present! Regrettably, it was human emotion which separated me from hearing Him and recognizing His presence.

Many things have occurred in the last few months, not particularly those one generally likes to share publicly. Of course, I tend to shy away from what the public generally does; so, in due time, I'll share some of these "what's been going on" things. In fact, as if you couldn't already figure out, I don't mind sharing my life's ups and downs; joys and sorrows; and, trials and tribulations, especially if my experiences can offer some support or connection to shared experiences. For this return prayer, however, I'm going to focus on His magnetism.

Webster's defines magnetism as "a quality that makes someone able to attract and hold the interest of other people." If we are created in God's image, why is it we step so far out of His reflection and our interest in Him appears to waver?

Think about it! God tells us to trust in Him for answers, but our human impatience seeks direction in "experts." God tells us to lean on Him for strength, but our human weakness guides us toward worldly dangers. God tells us to look to Him for direction, but our human pride and greed gravitate toward unhealthy desires. God expresses His love for us, but our human observation of what we're doing to ourselves leaves us exclaiming "what love?" All our tendencies seem to reflect the opposite of our Heavenly Father...frankly, they make me go "hmmmmm." The only conclusion I can draw is He knows within our core we will in fact be drawn back to Him and be able to reflect His image because of His grace. How awesome is that!! This is exactly how I describe parenting to my children!!

Heavenly Father, thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for your constant presence in my life even when I choose to distance myself. Thank you for your powerful magnetism fighting against my human will!

God, you are indeed amazing! Not like the "omgosh, dinner was amazing!" or "what an amazing accomplishment!" You leave me in constant wonder and surprise by your grace. There are so many times if I were you, I'd say "well, so much for that." But, you never give up. You are working constantly within my core to reconnect...to start the communication over...to refresh the "how do you dos." Thank you.

Father God, I ask for you to humble my heart. I ask for your strength to share my vulerabilities. I ask for your direction to guide those I encounter. I ask for your grace when I falter. I ask for your connection when I'm alone. Most of all, Lord, I ask for You!

I love you to pieces!!

Source: http://www.gracechatting.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/magnets-thumb.jpg

Day of Forgiveness

Despite God's call for us to forgive those who have harmed us in some way, it's difficult, don't you think? An easier said than done type scenario! From the human perspective, there is something about forgiving someone for a transgression against us that's unsettling. I think we fear if we are still hurt by the other person's actions we can't grant forgiveness, or somehow by forgiving we're lessening the responsibility of the other person's wrongdoing. In reality, forgiveness is really about the victim.

After my second divorce, I was convinced there was no way I was ever going to be able to forgive such actions because of the damaging effects of lost trust; the pain, and anger were so prevalent. Thankfully, I realized (by way of God beating me upside the head with messages about forgiveness for a month) not being able to forgive was making me resentful, jaded, angry, and bitter. I humbly submit, none of these characteristics describe me. When I notice something about my demeanor that is really outside of the everyday Jasmine, I try to stop and take notice. Of course, I'm certainly human experiencing similar responses to painful situations like everyone else. But, if I'm the vicitim, I am more irritated that the actions of the other person have thrown my loving, positive, cheerful demeanor off-kilter. This is where ownership comes into play.

You can choose to let the anger, hurt, and resentment consume you and all future relationships or you can forgive the person proclaiming "I'm not letting the pain caused by your actions hold me back any longer." Of course, it's a gift to the other person as well, don't worry...it's okay. How many times has God granted us forgiveness, mercy, and grace when we have been so clearly undeserving? Sometimes, in order to help ourselves move forward positively, we might have to allow someone else to move forward as well. It's okay to show a little bit of God love even to the transgressor...I promise no harm will come to you.

Here is a challenge: consider one relationship for which anger, irritation, and hurt resonate when you think about the person. Objectively examine the situation. Write out the pros/cons for forgiving the person. Ask God for the wisdom to know how to forgive; for His embrace as you step outside your comfort zone; and, let God work through your pen to draft a letter to the person proclaiming your forgiveness. It's important to list out each wrong and proclaim I FORGIVE YOU! That's it! You release it! You don't have to think about all the wrongs and pains once you forgive. They no longer keep you hostage from experiencing the loving  positivity God seeks from us!

Speaking from experience here: the burdens literally weighing down your shoulders will be lifted. You don't forget what happened, but the sting of it gets a little easier. This is extremely important when divorced parents are raising children. Remember: what happened between the parents should never interfere with their mutual love for their children!

Day 81: Heavenly Father, thank you for not giving up on me when you knew it was time to forgive. Thank you for working in me to share this message of hope and reflection for others. I ask for direction to forgive the two other people in my life I still cannot bear to release the weight of their transgressions.

God, strangely, the bitterness and anger originating from hurt feel like they provide some protective shield for our already broken emotions. However, despite the initial safety we might feel in such a protective bubble, it's so fragile and eventually pops. From here, we're left vulnerable, lost, and disconnected. Save us from ourselves, Lord! Lay on our hearts the DESIRE to forgive, not just the OBLIGATION to do so. 

Father God, I pray my relationship with my ex-husband can be a testament to those who are stuck in the worldly expectations of how people should interact if they've hurt one another. Thank you for healing broken hearts and providing opportunities to show your love in all things. Without your wisdom, direction, and grace, my little one would not witness two friendly parents who can put their history aside to care for their daughter. 

Thank you for instilling changes within your people and guiding our temporary lives in this world to love you and love others.

I love you.

Source: http://acelebrationofwomen.org/2013/03/does-forgiveness-really-matter%E2%80%8F/

Day of Deserving

I've been debating with myself (as long as I don't answer, I'm okay, right?) on this topic for a couple of weeks now. Often, I indicate in my prayers with God how undeserving I am for His grace, but thankful He gives it to me anyway. But, I've been pondering whether or not I should say I am undeserving. God created me. He knew me before my mother knew me. He knew I would be riddled with sin before I even made my first mistake. He gave me life and loves me. Despite all my imperfections (and there are MANY), He said I was worth it to Him. So, should I say I am undeserving if God himself said "Child, I love you anyway?" Or, should I say I am deserving and thankful for His love despite the many ways I fall short.

Let's take the topic down from His upper story for a moment and consider your relationship with your children (for those who do not have children, think about your relationship with your parents or those to whom you lean for parental guidance and love). Would you want to hear from your children that they think they are undeserving of the countless times you've continued loving them even when they make mistakes? Would you want your children to feel they are undeserving of your love? Would you want your children to know they deserve your unconditional love because they are your children? This doesn't mean they should not be thankful, should not try to follow the rules, and should not take you for granted. It means they are deserving of your love and you grant them grace when they make mistakes. Sound familiar? 

Day 89: Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me. Thank you for giving me this awesome chance at a life close to you. Thank you for providing me free will to come to you to fill the empty void versus making me a God robot.

Lord, how should we receive your love? You know I love you and am thankful for your grace. Should my thanksgiving be in joyous celebration because you believed I was worth everything, even the loss of your Son? Or, should my thanksgiving be in relief that despite my many flaws, you grant me grace. It seems to me the first parallels more closely with the human parent-child relationship. Does it matter? Perhaps, for some to remain humble to your grace and love, they must consider themselves undeserving for fear pride and arrogance would make an appearance in the relationship if they viewed themselves deserving of your love. Perhaps to others, such as myself, knowing you view me as deserving helps me extend your love to others, even those who may not "deserve" it from a worldly perspective.

Father God, how extraordinary it is to ponder the dynamics of our relationship by way of prayer. I am thankful for this venue to share my thoughts with you and await your wisdom in all facets of my life. Thank you for providing an open and honest relationship with you. Thank you for allowing me to ask questions without fear of ridicule. Thank you for always revealing your answers in your time, as it is always the right time.

I love you.

Source: http://doseofencouragement.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/love-love-and-more-love/

Day of Grace

I loved the Hunger Games series! Although the topic was rather barbaric, I found them fascinating by the storyline's unique quality. However, when I saw the first movie, I nearly left the theater five minutes into the movie. I read the same things depicted in the movie, but my imagination only let me visualize so much...thank goodness. When the same information was portrayed visually through someone else's imagination, I was overwhelmed with despair.

Similarly, most people have read or heard the description of Christ's crucifixion. Even though we've been told and read of it's horrific nature, it's really hard to process the true gruesome nature of it all through words. Have you seen Son of God? What about Passion of the Christ? The story's vivid portrayal of what Christ experienced all through man's cruelty is nearly too much to bear. I am convinced, it is only through the grace of God we walk the earth today. I don't know about you, but if either of my daughters suffered even a glimpse of the thrashing of our Savior, my animalistic Momma Bear would surface.

Day 67: Heavenly Father, thank you for your mercy and grace on such a self-serving people. Thank you for making us witness our own cruelty. Thank you for not treating us the way we have so harshly treated you.

Lord, what is it about humans that we continue sinning even though we have heard and "seen" what our sins cost and the manner in which you were lost? Is it not enough you sacrificed your only Son to save us? Is it not enough our evil ways forced a brutal, torcherous death? Is it not enough you saved us when we can't even put you first? Why are you gracious and merciful? How can we be created in your image yet treat you so viciously?

Father God, I am in awe by the measure of your love for us. We are not deserving. We are blessed by your grace and should work on ourselves to bestow such grace toward others. Thank you for still giving us a chance, despite our countless flaws and sins.

I love you.

Source: https://mubi.com/films/the-passion-of-the-christ

Day of Lint

That's right, my prayer tonight is about lint or at least what it represents in our lives! As you may know, today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of the Christian season of Lent.

I like this definition of Lent from Faith United Methodist Church:

Lent is a season where we may follow the example of Christ to quiet ourselves before God, spend time in prayer, and to free up some of the "cluttered" time in our life to allow more time for our relationship with God. 

Okay, Jasmine! But, what does Lent have to do with lint? Pastor Patti delivered a vivid analogy this evening capturing the connection perfectly. First, we must admit and accept, we are sinners. There's no sugar coating this; we are! This prayer is not intended to focus on our imperfections, but rather to be realistic that humans are imperfect. However, through God's grace and taking on the sins of the world through His Son, we are forgiven.

With this forgiveness, comes responsibility to work toward removing elements from our lives impairing us from fulfilling God's great plan!

So, back to the lint. Dryers are designed to "trap" lint before it reaches the motor, which could diminish the dryer's functioning, or worse, cause fires. However, in order to gain the benefits of the traps, they must be cleared of buildup. The buildup reduces air circulation, causing the motor to overheat, increasing drying time, and increasing energy costs.

Similarly, we need to clear out the "lint traps" of our lives. Without this cleansing, the buildup consumes us, not letting the Spirit proper access to us. When we "block" the Spirit's access, the "lint" can overwhelm us and potentially pull us away from God.

During Lent, many Christians give up or (or take on) something during the 40-day season. Through sacrifice, we learn to resist temptation. Through prayer, we redirect our attention from our selfish, distracted lives and focus our attention toward God. Through repentance, we admit our sins, ask for God's forgiveness, and experience God's great gift of grace.

Day 64: Heavenly Father, thank you for your grace and mercy. I wish I could say today I did not sin; but, I know I did. For this, I ask your forgiveness. Thank you for working through your pastoral servant to deliver a profound explanation for Lent for which we can relate clearly.

Lord, I have made efforts in years past to participate actively in the sacrifice, penance, and reflection of this season. However, these efforts predominately involved giving up Starbucks. As you know, I love coffee. But, I've realized, not drinking my favorite coffee for a few weeks really hasn't changed me. I've been focused the last few months on embracing fully your two greatest commandments...loving you and loving others. As I thought about something that may fundamentally transform me, I realized paying it forward may express God's love in ways I can't imagine.

Father God, thank you for the clarity needed this morning to embark on a 40-day journey of paying it forward. It may not seem like much, but each time someone has bought my coffee in the morning, the kindness has literally altered positively my outlook for the entire day. If I can brighten the days of 40 people, could daily outlooks transform exponentially? Omgoodness, the potential of one small gesture of your love and generosity extended to someone could affect hundreds. I pray to be a part of such an impact.

Thank you for the opportunity to serve you daily. Thank you for sharing Christ's experience in the desert which encourages me to focus specifically on the temptations and distractions keeping me from you. Thank you for your mercy and grace!

I love you.