Day of Return

Wow! It's been a few months since I've posted my prayers. I've missed this forum! Where have I been you might ask? I think God might've been asking the same thing. Strangely, it wasn't as if I had some "shaking my fist" at Heaven period wondering where God was in my life. Thankfully, I know He's always present! Regrettably, it was human emotion which separated me from hearing Him and recognizing His presence.

Many things have occurred in the last few months, not particularly those one generally likes to share publicly. Of course, I tend to shy away from what the public generally does; so, in due time, I'll share some of these "what's been going on" things. In fact, as if you couldn't already figure out, I don't mind sharing my life's ups and downs; joys and sorrows; and, trials and tribulations, especially if my experiences can offer some support or connection to shared experiences. For this return prayer, however, I'm going to focus on His magnetism.

Webster's defines magnetism as "a quality that makes someone able to attract and hold the interest of other people." If we are created in God's image, why is it we step so far out of His reflection and our interest in Him appears to waver?

Think about it! God tells us to trust in Him for answers, but our human impatience seeks direction in "experts." God tells us to lean on Him for strength, but our human weakness guides us toward worldly dangers. God tells us to look to Him for direction, but our human pride and greed gravitate toward unhealthy desires. God expresses His love for us, but our human observation of what we're doing to ourselves leaves us exclaiming "what love?" All our tendencies seem to reflect the opposite of our Heavenly Father...frankly, they make me go "hmmmmm." The only conclusion I can draw is He knows within our core we will in fact be drawn back to Him and be able to reflect His image because of His grace. How awesome is that!! This is exactly how I describe parenting to my children!!

Heavenly Father, thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for your constant presence in my life even when I choose to distance myself. Thank you for your powerful magnetism fighting against my human will!

God, you are indeed amazing! Not like the "omgosh, dinner was amazing!" or "what an amazing accomplishment!" You leave me in constant wonder and surprise by your grace. There are so many times if I were you, I'd say "well, so much for that." But, you never give up. You are working constantly within my core to reconnect...to start the communication over...to refresh the "how do you dos." Thank you.

Father God, I ask for you to humble my heart. I ask for your strength to share my vulerabilities. I ask for your direction to guide those I encounter. I ask for your grace when I falter. I ask for your connection when I'm alone. Most of all, Lord, I ask for You!

I love you to pieces!!

Source: http://www.gracechatting.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/magnets-thumb.jpg

Day of Light

Whew! Thank you for your patience as I've caught up on my prayer posts for last week. It is rare for me to feel overwhelmed, but this week certainly got the best of me. Thankfully, I have a God-centered determination to maintain this as a daily blog (if I ended a 365-day blog with only 363 prayers, I would feel like I failed...I'd never say someone else failed, but I'm sometimes terrible with the practice what you preach). This time I spend with God discussing my day or whatever consumes my thoughts has provided me fantastic insight into my successes and failures, my joys and concerns, and my confidences and fears.

I have never felt more confident the words I share with others are divinely inspired. Sometimes, I feel like there are some people who have just not experienced God's love in a way that helps lift them from the darkness in their lives. On the outside, they make excuses and blame others for the circumstances in which they find themselves, the "it's always someone else who put me in this situation" mentality. On the inside, however, they are stuck in a dark and dreary state of loss, shame, and confusion. They may not even know they are doing this to themselves. Denial can sometimes be unintentional because it's too frightening to admit we may actually be the cause of living in such darkness.

I hope my open prayers with God can help those who are stuck in the darkness to experience a connection with someone who shared similar circumstances. I want to express myself honestly and help others realize they too can live in the light and they don't have to climb out alone. They have loved ones, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers who are ready and willing to help pull them into the light and experience a new life filled with hope and love.

Day 75: Heavenly Father, thank you for using me in such a pivotal role to comfort and support others with direct and honest discourse. Thank you for providing me a venue to connect with people across the world expanding your love of the global church. Thank you for blessing me with words to transform, words to inspire, and words to invoke analysis of our inner selves.

Lord, directness can be scary for some people to accept. We've created a world of always wanting to feel good and wanting the easy fix. What we fail to realize is we are our own worst enemies. We want change, but don't want to do the work requiring change. We want different lives, but don't want to examine ourselves identifying some of our faults may be impeding our progress. We want to be pulled out of the darkness, but can't see the outstretched arms ready to help pull us out of the depths of despair. Ultimately, Lord, we need you, but refuse to see you when you're right in front of us. Thank you for never leaving us. Thank you for being ready when we are ready. Thank you for placing positive individuals in our lives to help us connect and lean on you through them.

Father God, I cannot imagine where my life would have ended up if I didn't lean on you. I cannot relate to depression because I believe you are the greatest anti-depressant money doesn't have to buy. I cannot imagine living a life of pessimism, despair, anger, loss, or confusion. I pity those stuck in the darkness and pray I can be used as a vessel to help lead them to your light. I pray you continue protecting those who are not ready to trust in you, but use those who care about them to lead them to a positive, loving relationship with you, our wonderful Counselor.

I love you.

Day of Relationship

I feel like I'm on the verge of an epiphany. I'm not quite there yet, but as I've tried to embrace what God's true expectation is of me, I'm getting this sense (thank you Holy Spirit, my counselor) I'm close to opening a door which could fundamentally transform my relationship with God and, subsequently, all my relationships.

Several sermons ago, Scott explained God's two greatest commandments: 

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV)

Of course, I've read this scripture countless times, but I'm not sure I heard it. God makes it pretty clear He wants to "do life with us!" He wants to be in relationship with us! I'd say He values relationship quite a bit, eh? 

So, here I am in life trying to follow some rules thinking somehow it will trigger this ethereal connection with God. The reality, I've been so focused on the rules, I've likely missed countless relationships in which I could feel a greater connection to God and His expectation for my life. I'm not saying, I'm gonna go hog wild sinnin' left and right as long as I am doing it in relation with others (wait, what?? 😳). What I'm saying is I'm going to use my relationships to help one another feel a genuine, loving connection with our Heavenly Father.

Day 35: Heavenly Father, thank you for this aha moment! Is this what you have been seeking all along? Have I had my priorities out of whack? Please forgive me for my blinders and countless missed opportunities.

It seems too simple, God! You are all powerful, full of wisdom, and creativity! Why don't you require us to follow some complicated schematic to fulfill your plan? Why do we complicate things? Are we products of our childhoods learning right from wrong, dos and don'ts, and we just follow this paradigm into adulthood? No wonder so many are lost!

But, Father God, you have provided us the lessons, guidance, and play-by-play all along. We've just misinterpreted. I pray I am hearing you clearly and can get out of my own way with all the self imposed restrictions in order to be one with you. My relationship with you, Father, is by far the most important in my life because everything benefits positively!

I love you.