Day of Light

Whew! Thank you for your patience as I've caught up on my prayer posts for last week. It is rare for me to feel overwhelmed, but this week certainly got the best of me. Thankfully, I have a God-centered determination to maintain this as a daily blog (if I ended a 365-day blog with only 363 prayers, I would feel like I failed...I'd never say someone else failed, but I'm sometimes terrible with the practice what you preach). This time I spend with God discussing my day or whatever consumes my thoughts has provided me fantastic insight into my successes and failures, my joys and concerns, and my confidences and fears.

I have never felt more confident the words I share with others are divinely inspired. Sometimes, I feel like there are some people who have just not experienced God's love in a way that helps lift them from the darkness in their lives. On the outside, they make excuses and blame others for the circumstances in which they find themselves, the "it's always someone else who put me in this situation" mentality. On the inside, however, they are stuck in a dark and dreary state of loss, shame, and confusion. They may not even know they are doing this to themselves. Denial can sometimes be unintentional because it's too frightening to admit we may actually be the cause of living in such darkness.

I hope my open prayers with God can help those who are stuck in the darkness to experience a connection with someone who shared similar circumstances. I want to express myself honestly and help others realize they too can live in the light and they don't have to climb out alone. They have loved ones, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers who are ready and willing to help pull them into the light and experience a new life filled with hope and love.

Day 75: Heavenly Father, thank you for using me in such a pivotal role to comfort and support others with direct and honest discourse. Thank you for providing me a venue to connect with people across the world expanding your love of the global church. Thank you for blessing me with words to transform, words to inspire, and words to invoke analysis of our inner selves.

Lord, directness can be scary for some people to accept. We've created a world of always wanting to feel good and wanting the easy fix. What we fail to realize is we are our own worst enemies. We want change, but don't want to do the work requiring change. We want different lives, but don't want to examine ourselves identifying some of our faults may be impeding our progress. We want to be pulled out of the darkness, but can't see the outstretched arms ready to help pull us out of the depths of despair. Ultimately, Lord, we need you, but refuse to see you when you're right in front of us. Thank you for never leaving us. Thank you for being ready when we are ready. Thank you for placing positive individuals in our lives to help us connect and lean on you through them.

Father God, I cannot imagine where my life would have ended up if I didn't lean on you. I cannot relate to depression because I believe you are the greatest anti-depressant money doesn't have to buy. I cannot imagine living a life of pessimism, despair, anger, loss, or confusion. I pity those stuck in the darkness and pray I can be used as a vessel to help lead them to your light. I pray you continue protecting those who are not ready to trust in you, but use those who care about them to lead them to a positive, loving relationship with you, our wonderful Counselor.

I love you.

Day of Soul

Sorry to disappoint music lovers, this isn't about Etta James, Ray Charles, or even James Brown! This prayer is about losing yourself to worldly things. Do you ever get discouraged about making more money, having more stuff, or achieving some professional status in your career? Let's be honest, who hasn't? When over 1/3 of our day is spent working and another 1/3 sleeping, it seems like we leave ourselves with very little time for our soul. If we can't check the work stuff at the door, we let the work time takeover our soul time.

Now consider what we strive for in our daily working. We want pay raises and promotions. Again, not a bad thing. But, what if we don't get those? We could certainly sit and vent about the circumstances stacked against us, subjective reviews, and politics as I did this week. Or, we can go to work every day, do the best we can, be thankful for employment, and leave the job at the door every night knowing we fulfilled the expectations of us.

I was so discouraged after receiving my annual review on Wednesday. I am used to being one of the employees achieving high ratings and opportunities for advancement. But, this time, I received average...meets what we pay her to do...nothing much more. I was completely blown away! There were many things I've endured over the last year with management disagreements, reporting to many chiefs, using my personal time to support another unit for whom I want to work eventually, and advancing my learning through certification classes. I was down right frustrated this wasn't acknowledged and rated accordingly. But, after hearing TobyMac's Lose My Soul (of course, right in the midst of me wallowing in self pity), it dawned on me, THIS is what I'm worrying about!!! I'm worrying about this worldy thing called a job. I'm letting a subjective score change my demeanor? I'm letting one measly rating out of over 20 years of evaluations hamper my spirits.

God spoke! He's said: STOP! I'm telling you this doesn't matter. Stop letting this world tell you whether or not you have value. Stop losing yourself to anger, frustration, defeat, despair, jealousy, pride. Don't lose yourself trying to gain the whole world; you'll lose your soul in the process. I created you with a specific purpose. Spend time praying. Spend time loving. Spend time searching and seeking to please Me. If you do that, I will reward you abundantly with eternal life in my kingdom!!

Day 71: Heavenly Father, thank you for reminding me of the unnecessary burdens I place on myself when I get lost in human expectations and not your expectations. Thank you for laying out the perspective so clearly. I needed that hit me upside the head intervention to remind me what really matters.

Lord, I struggle with getting sucked into drama. I despise drama! I've turned away from several relationships because of my total disinterest in drama, particularly of the self-imposed kind. But, God, for some reason, when I'm around others who fuel the fire w/their own discontent about situations (even my situations), I can find myself easily grumbling right along with them. I'm conscious of the need to change this, but for some reason the message in my heart and mind, are twisted as words leave my mouth.

Thank you, Father God, for knowing I need firm direction in this area. I don't have interest nor do I have time for drama, most of all my very own! It's soul crushing!

I love you.

Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/23432860533684975/

Day of Bonding

The last couple of weekends has been filled with lots of bonding with my girls!! Last weekend was full of wrestling, supporting my daughter's teammates and cheering her on during the girls state  tournament!

This weekend, my girls and I jammed to Jamie Grace, Third Day, and Skillet along with Christians from all over Indiana. I can't think of a better first concert for my youngest. We enjoyed a reprieve between winter storms and squeezed in a some practice time on the bicycle and a swing date. When the temps started dropping, we howled with laughter watching "Everything is awesome!" Ending the weekend, we shared in fellowship while listening to a sermon applicable to anyone with friends (I hope that applies to all of you!) Quality time is extremely important!

Spending time together either doing activities or just hanging out promotes strength in relationships (no duh, Jasmine!) For some reason, however, even though we know this isn't rocket science, we overwhelm ourselves with other stuff we think is important. The reality is, in my humble opinion, strengthening relationships is far more important than having an empty sink or windows so clear birds don't see them (poor Windex birds), completing another workout at the gym, or responding to a few more work emails. 

We have 24 hours a day, but I don't think God's great plan includes consuming the majority of those hours cleaning, incessantly, exercising obsessively, or working exhaustively. If that were true, Jesus would have taught the greatest commandment is love God with all your might and the second is vacuum your floors religiously, burn calories exponentially, and work overtime obediently.

Day 60: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me clarity in identifying priorities. Thank you for being the center of my life and funneling your positivity into my family. Thank you for the continued growth in the relationships with my children and the foundation for lasting friendships between us.

Lord, I wish I could help others experience the joy I have setting aside other activities when rainbow loom bracelets are requested! Housework is always present, yet we constantly tackle it as if we believe once it's complete, then we'll have time for fostering relationships. We tell ourselves once we look a little better physically, then we'll make time for our loved ones. We convince ourselves achieving certain statuses professionally helps relationships personally. 

God, how can I convince others even when their efforts are admirable (like working extra hours to pay bills or losing weight to be healthier), their lack of time bonding in relationships can have far greater detrimental impact than financial or physical. Or, Father, is it me who needs better understanding?

Father God, sometimes I struggle with seeing the gray when your direction seems so black and white. Please forgive me if my lack of understanding doesn't respect the struggles of others. I want to uphold your two greatest commandments by bringing people closer to you and help strengthen people's relationships!

I love you.

Day of Priorities

Parents tend to battle competing priorities trying to raise children, excel professionally, and develop spiritually. It can seem chaotic at times and weigh heavy on our shoulders when all these priorities are battling for top position.

Viewing them objectively, my faith is always first as everything positive results from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Secondly, my children's needs gain my full attention. Lastly, I focus on the expectations of my employer and my desire to be useful. Wouldn't it be so much easier if life was this black and white?

The reality is this objective priority structure can't exist (at least, not for me). When one aspect of life needs more attention than the other, it must move to the top of the list regardless of its position in the objective list of priorities.

One way I've found to help overcome the anxiety of the constant vying for my attention is to make lists. Even though I may already know what needs to be accomplished, writing down each task tricks my mind to feel success by checking things off a task list. Despite the tediousness of such an exercise, the sense of accomplishment is uncanny.

Day 58: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me clarity to adjust to changing priorities. Thank you for your presence in my life so that I may never feel alone. Thank you for providing direction to help me refocus when my priorities are out of sync.

Lord, often people plead "if I only had xx hours a day, I could accomplish..." Sadly, we'd just fill those hours up too and beg for more hours. I pray for your wisdom in recognizing when the subjectivity of life's tasks skew the objective view of priorities. Please help remind us it's not more time we need, but how we use that time most effectively. 

Father God, may I always find time to worship you daily (thank you for your mercy when I falter). I pray I create unique opportunities to spend quality time with my daughters. I want to share direct interaction with each of them frequently regardless of the chaos consuming our schedules. I pray for motivation to focus on completing tasks at work in a timely fashion. I want to avoid letting work expectations overrule other priorities in my life on a regular basis. Thank you for protecting me from myself.

I love you.