Day of Priorities

Parents tend to battle competing priorities trying to raise children, excel professionally, and develop spiritually. It can seem chaotic at times and weigh heavy on our shoulders when all these priorities are battling for top position.

Viewing them objectively, my faith is always first as everything positive results from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Secondly, my children's needs gain my full attention. Lastly, I focus on the expectations of my employer and my desire to be useful. Wouldn't it be so much easier if life was this black and white?

The reality is this objective priority structure can't exist (at least, not for me). When one aspect of life needs more attention than the other, it must move to the top of the list regardless of its position in the objective list of priorities.

One way I've found to help overcome the anxiety of the constant vying for my attention is to make lists. Even though I may already know what needs to be accomplished, writing down each task tricks my mind to feel success by checking things off a task list. Despite the tediousness of such an exercise, the sense of accomplishment is uncanny.

Day 58: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me clarity to adjust to changing priorities. Thank you for your presence in my life so that I may never feel alone. Thank you for providing direction to help me refocus when my priorities are out of sync.

Lord, often people plead "if I only had xx hours a day, I could accomplish..." Sadly, we'd just fill those hours up too and beg for more hours. I pray for your wisdom in recognizing when the subjectivity of life's tasks skew the objective view of priorities. Please help remind us it's not more time we need, but how we use that time most effectively. 

Father God, may I always find time to worship you daily (thank you for your mercy when I falter). I pray I create unique opportunities to spend quality time with my daughters. I want to share direct interaction with each of them frequently regardless of the chaos consuming our schedules. I pray for motivation to focus on completing tasks at work in a timely fashion. I want to avoid letting work expectations overrule other priorities in my life on a regular basis. Thank you for protecting me from myself.

I love you.

Day of Reality

This is a circle prayer about reality, but directed toward me.

Yesterday, I faced some challenges dealing with some stuff really out of my control. Unfortunately, as much as I want to believe I can identify every variable of a situation to ward off potential issues, I cannot predict the future and need to just "let it go," like Elsa in Frozen.

Today, my family celebrated my lovely grandma's  birthday. In an effort to kill birds with stones, I asked for some advice from my aunt and uncle. I am so thankful for them helping me to see I need to "keep it real" and just let the chips fall where they may. 

My biggest regret for today:

Although my intent was to help a situation, had I been real with myself that I cannot foresee every variable, I wouldn't have lost valuable time celebrating my grandma's birthday. I'm very sorry and disappointed in myself.

Day 46: Heavenly Father, thank you for my family and their objectiveness. Thank you for reminding me through my poor judgement today lifting and trusting situations to you is truly the greatest gift I can give myself. Lord, thank you for the clarity I needed revealed to keep things real.

God, it's incredible how many times I've told others "just lift it to God, get it off your shoulders," yet I still have trouble practicing what I preach. I try to release control, release the worry, and just let you do your thing, but goodness it is so outside my comfort zone. Why is that? I know factually all I have achieved is through your great glory and mercy, so why is it out of my comfort zone? I'm a weirdo!! 

Father God, I feel embarrassed sometimes to show my emotion about situations for which I'm sadly accustomed? I don't understand why one day I can be absolutely objective and disconnected emotionally, and the next day a blubbering fool about the same situation. I know you've provided us various outlets for expression, but does it have to be through tears? Haha! Well, regardless, thank you for using my family today to bring me back to an objective evaluation of my circumstances and offering realistic solutions.

Without you working through those with whom I sought counsel, I'd probably continue trying to maintain control of a situation, potentially harming myself emotionally or financially. Thank you.

I love you.