Day of Patience

There is a nine year age difference between my girls. My eldest will be 15 and my youngest just 6 in a few weeks (funny, their birthdays are 6 days apart). As you can imagine, the eldest daughter has a lot going on in her life. She's academically brilliant (in fact, just received runner-up in the National History Day District competition qualifying her for state), devout Christian involved in several Christ-centered groups, high school athlete in two sports (just learned this week she was selected to play for her school's freshman/sophomore softball team), and she's a social butterfly. The youngest, however, has had a few activities here and there, most of which involved the typical toddler ballet/tap classes; but, predominately, her time is spent supporting her sister in all her varying activities.

What amazes me about this little girl is her patience! She doesn't whine and complain asking incessantly when it's time to go or when something is going to be over. She sits for hours on end in bleachers cheering on her wrestling sister. She awakens cheerfully (okay, maybe a bit of coaxing to awaken her) to cart her sister to before school events and patiently sits in her booster entertaining herself while we wait to pick up her older sister from late evening events, even on school nights. She's a go-with-the-flow kind of child! I thought I was a pretty patient individual until she came along!!

I wrote a poem for my little one the other night at the passing of her grandpa. I hope one day she will know she wasn't just a surprise, but an intentional gift from God to transform this world!

His smile full of love,

His arms full of strength.

I wonder if her Papaw,

Knew why I chose her name.

It wasn't just tradition,

Or something kinda cute.

It was the inspiration,

Of this man I love and knew.

Her middle name's Noel,

It's suits her perfectly.

She was named after her Papaw,

For courage and tenacity.

She will not understand,

Why he had to go.

But, knowing that he loved her,

Will calm the sudden blow.

Please kiss his head and 

Squeeze him tight for me.

He loves you, dear Father,

And will join you peacefully.

Day 73: Heavenly Father, thank you creating my youngest with a calm and patient demeanor. Thank you for allowing me to witness through her eyes a very real "don't sweat the small stuff" mentality. Thank you for her loving support she provides her sister and the limited complaining when she isn't center of attention.

Lord, I am incredibly indebted to you for surprising me with such a lovely little girl. Despite the doctor's advice of "it's probably not a good idea for you to get pregnant again," you brought her into my life. When the doctors likely shared the "see we told you so" thoughts when I developed blood clots just as they had warned, you protected both me and my little girl from harm. She is a special gift who brings joy to all who have interacted with her.

Father God, I ask you to watch over this precious gift. Having to break the news to her that her Papaw has joined you in Heaven was heart wrenching. When I see her cry, it's nearly too much to bear. I know you experience this all too often when your children are pained regardless of the cause. Please watch over her, Lord! She will help lead your people to unconditional love beyond any adult comprehension.

I love you.

Day of Comfort

When we learn someone is suffering from physical ailments or emotional pains, we hope for comfort and healing. Often those around us offer their thoughts, prayers, and words of support, but expect some otherworldly source to actual provide it. In fact, I'm ashamed to admit, but I've used the coined phrase "I'm praying for you," but only in the moment did I actually pray. Think for a moment when you've shared such words. Was it the standard response, a nicety if you will? Did you fully intend to pray, but failed to execute beyond saying those words? Did you genuinely spend time with God asking for His healing hand on those suffering.

This week marks another death of someone for whom I cared deeply, my former father-in-law. Regardless of the circumstances causing my divorce, my daughter's dad and I are friendly. I remain up-to-date on the ups and downs of his family as he has of mine. I'm thankful we have a mature relationship like this, if nothing more than to demonstrate to our children how to interact with others by showing God's love even when it's difficult or against human response.

I pray as this family receives an outpouring of condolences and offers of prayer, these words are genuine. I pray prayers of comfort and healing are extended to God with expectation He, in fact, can heal. The loss of a father (in my case, a grandfather who was like my father) doesn't get easier. I visit my grandfather's gravesite twice a year and ball my eyes out nearly six years later. But, with time and through God's loving hands the loss is easier to cope. 

Day 72: Heavenly Father, thank you for your love and support, comfort and healing. Thank you for always being available for our needs, but requiring us to reach to you. Thank you for your grace when we so often take you for granted and just expect this and that without putting in any work.

Lord, I pray you wrap your loving arms around this family consumed with grief at the loss of their patriarch. I know he is with you in the kingdom; what great warmth that brings to my heart. But, God, our loss of his presence is still painful. Although we should be celebrating with adoration and joy his physical battles are over and you've called your son home, but our loss of his presence is still painful. Even though without a doubt he is with you enjoying Georgia peach ice cream and sharing his orneriness, without being able to turn to watch him, our loss of his presence is still painful.

So, Father God, my plea is for comfort. Heal our despairing hearts as we mourn the loss of a compassionate, loving man. Dry our countless tears as we celebrate his life, but regret all those who did not get the pleasure of his acquaintance. Lift our bittersweet spirits as we joyously lift him to you, but desire to pull him back for one last smile, one last hug, one last kiss. Strengthen our worn bodies as the dust settles, the grieving overwhelms, and reality sets in. Despite our human grief, I am comforted to know your devoted servant trusted his life to you and ran into your arms when he was finally home.

I love you.

Day of Soul

Sorry to disappoint music lovers, this isn't about Etta James, Ray Charles, or even James Brown! This prayer is about losing yourself to worldly things. Do you ever get discouraged about making more money, having more stuff, or achieving some professional status in your career? Let's be honest, who hasn't? When over 1/3 of our day is spent working and another 1/3 sleeping, it seems like we leave ourselves with very little time for our soul. If we can't check the work stuff at the door, we let the work time takeover our soul time.

Now consider what we strive for in our daily working. We want pay raises and promotions. Again, not a bad thing. But, what if we don't get those? We could certainly sit and vent about the circumstances stacked against us, subjective reviews, and politics as I did this week. Or, we can go to work every day, do the best we can, be thankful for employment, and leave the job at the door every night knowing we fulfilled the expectations of us.

I was so discouraged after receiving my annual review on Wednesday. I am used to being one of the employees achieving high ratings and opportunities for advancement. But, this time, I received average...meets what we pay her to do...nothing much more. I was completely blown away! There were many things I've endured over the last year with management disagreements, reporting to many chiefs, using my personal time to support another unit for whom I want to work eventually, and advancing my learning through certification classes. I was down right frustrated this wasn't acknowledged and rated accordingly. But, after hearing TobyMac's Lose My Soul (of course, right in the midst of me wallowing in self pity), it dawned on me, THIS is what I'm worrying about!!! I'm worrying about this worldy thing called a job. I'm letting a subjective score change my demeanor? I'm letting one measly rating out of over 20 years of evaluations hamper my spirits.

God spoke! He's said: STOP! I'm telling you this doesn't matter. Stop letting this world tell you whether or not you have value. Stop losing yourself to anger, frustration, defeat, despair, jealousy, pride. Don't lose yourself trying to gain the whole world; you'll lose your soul in the process. I created you with a specific purpose. Spend time praying. Spend time loving. Spend time searching and seeking to please Me. If you do that, I will reward you abundantly with eternal life in my kingdom!!

Day 71: Heavenly Father, thank you for reminding me of the unnecessary burdens I place on myself when I get lost in human expectations and not your expectations. Thank you for laying out the perspective so clearly. I needed that hit me upside the head intervention to remind me what really matters.

Lord, I struggle with getting sucked into drama. I despise drama! I've turned away from several relationships because of my total disinterest in drama, particularly of the self-imposed kind. But, God, for some reason, when I'm around others who fuel the fire w/their own discontent about situations (even my situations), I can find myself easily grumbling right along with them. I'm conscious of the need to change this, but for some reason the message in my heart and mind, are twisted as words leave my mouth.

Thank you, Father God, for knowing I need firm direction in this area. I don't have interest nor do I have time for drama, most of all my very own! It's soul crushing!

I love you.

Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/23432860533684975/

Day of Kindness

If you saw me early this morning, you might say, "did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" It certainly would be a justified question. I grumbled about the bitter cold. I argued about the little one's outfit. I pouted about a missing trash and leaving bags on the snow mound, likely to freeze and fall into the ditch. I shouted at an oncoming driver who must have assumed the road was only one way and for her access only. It seemed like this was going to be one heck of a bad hair day (did I mention, I really was having a bad hair day)!

But, alas, the kindness of a stranger completely changed my demeanor. As I pulled up to pay for my "treat" coffee, I was informed the patron in front of me paid for my order. How generous!! This "pay it forward" moment changed my entire outlook on the day. I laughed at myself for the overreaction from earlier in the morning. This beautiful gesture reminded me of something extremely important, making mountains out of molehills doesn't miraculously make the molehills more important or justify our overreaction.

The rest of the day was transformed by the kindness of that stranger. I successfully completed several tasks on my list. I hugged a few of my favorite work friends (remember, I LOVE hugs). I conversed with a friend who I am thankful God has brought into my life. I exchanged friendly barbs with a friend which hopefully brightened his spirits as much as they did mine. I received positive feedback for some activities I've been tackling. I learned of my girls' continuous successes in school and shared with them how proud I am for who they are becoming. Can you believe a day which could've spiraled downhill with snarky comments, bitter exchanges, and a jaded view of the day was changed because of someone's selfless act in the Starbucks drive-thru? That's God at work!! Some people might say, "nah, that's just doing the right thing" or "nah, your morals don't come from some invisible man in the sky." But, let me ask this, if our goodness does not come from God, then what differentiates us from all the other animals in the animal kingdom?

Day 22: Heavenly Father, thank you for working through a stranger today to show your kindness, mercy, and love. Your faithfulness to know each of us intimately doesn't surprise me that Starbucks would be the location for a tangible reminder for me of your presence. Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to witness the kindness extended to me. I fear without your clarity, I may have been stuck in a selfish pity party for my molehills today.

Father, thank you for your infinite kindness. You have provided numerous messages through your Word regarding kindness toward others. Your gentleness and compassion for your people to teach us a fundamental way to foster loving relationships with each other keeps me in awe. Lord, you know I am a patient person, but my patience does where thin when I find myself repeating advice which falls on deaf ears. Yet, you mentioned at least 56 times in the Bible to be kind to one another. You could have given up on humans so many times and been justified (at least, through secular eyes). But, you didn't give up on us. Thank you for your unrelenting love for a very flawed people.

Father God, please continue working in my life to demonstrate your mercy, love, and kindness. When I feel weak, strengthen my spirit. When I feel lost, reveal your path. When I am overwhelmed, lighten my load. When I am defensive, lower my sword. Lord, please bombard me with your Spirit to share your kindness in my interactions with others.

I love you.

Day of Confidence

When you've never really struggled to perform, perhaps in academics, athletics, the arts, etc., it's disheartening when you may no longer be the best of the best. Your confidence comes under attack; which may trickle over into other areas of life unrelated to the activity. This seems quite prevalent in youth sports. At what point, do kids move from participating for the love of the game to a ruthless agenda to shut out competition, aka their peers? How do they transition from supportive teammates to looking out for number one no matter whose confidence may be trampled? Sadly, I fear adults not only encourage, but also may be instigators of such dog eat dog behavior.

For those who are naturally athletic, but hit a plateau, this is quite an adjustment. Not only must a mindset shift to accept they may not be the best players, but also the need for encouragement increases to avoid obliterating their confidence altogether. Youth should be able to lean on coaches to mentor them both on and off the field. If they can't, they may perceive themselves as not good enough and give up playing a sport they love dearly.

There's certainly a place for healthy competition; in fact, it often motivates people to improve and strive to perform the best they can. However, when competition turns to pitting people against each other, the healthy aspect disappears. I've witnessed firsthand my daughter's love for a sport diminish drastically as a result of trying to vie for starting positions. When activities once so loved become nearly a burden and the joy sucked out of them, where is the benefit? When improving for the sake of improving is checked at the door in favor of wins no matter the cost, where is the benefit? When coaches break down players to the point of them questioning their worth, what is the benefit?

Jesus Christ didn't teach us an everything goes as long as you get what's coming to you approach to life. He taught us to lift, love, and support each other. Interactions with this teaching in mind can lend to maintaining confidence in all situations, even if you're no longer the best of the best.

Day 95: Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me the wisdom to guide my daughters through turbulent waters. Thank you for creating them with emotion and sensitivities which demonstrate their unselfish empathy for others. 

Lord, I lift my hands to you helpless. My daughter's confidence waivers. Her self worth diminishes with each interaction with her coach. When she should receive constructive criticism, she receives harsh rebuke. When she should receive supportive recognition, she receives resentful antagonism. When she should receive engaging mentorship, she receives confidence destroying interaction. Father, I ask for your forgiveness for my anger in this situation. I ask for you to overwhelm me with the appropriate approach to this situation to show your unyielding love when I'm not feeling quite so generous.

Father God, I ask for you to rebuild my daughter's confidence. She is your beautiful creation desiring wholeheartedly to serve you in any capacity you envision. No child should ever feel unworthy because she may not meet the expectations of one person. It is only your expectations we should strive to achieve. However, we live in this world and must be able to function effectively. I trust you can provide the needed strength to face this world with confidence.

I love you.

Day of "Even Now"

When people attend Easter service, they usually expect to hear the traditional resurrection story. I'm beyond thankful that's not what I heard this year! Our contemporary service pastor allows God to work through him regularly to deliver messages far beyond what is just the "norm." Easter service was no different!

Before you fear resurrection wasn't discussed, let me assure you, it was not only discussed, it was captured as the cornerstone of what this Christian stuff is all about, but looking through the eyes of others. When Lazarus became ill, Jesus waited two days to embark on the two day journey to reach him. Jesus knew this wait was pivotal! Upon his arrival, Mary (who had previously washed Jesus feet with her hair) was dead in discouragement. She saw no point in greeting Jesus...what could He do now? She needed a resurrection of her faith! Martha ran to meet Jesus, but was dead in the delay of His arrival. She believed with four days passed, Lazarus' spirit had departed his body and would not be able to return. She needed resurrection of her faith! Lazarus lay dead (and, as Scott pointed out, likely quite stinky) and buried. He needed, well, resurrection of his life! Jesus demonstrated even now, when hope is lost, too much time has passed, and Lazarus is gone, He can resurrect! 

Remember, even now when you feel all is lost in your family, your marriage, your health, your employment, trust in Jesus' resurrection. Even now, He can guide the way!

Day 94: Heavenly Father, thank you for continuing to work in your humble servant to deliver the messages needed, despite what may be wanted! Thank you for your constant presence regardless of death in spirit and hope.

Lord, I plead for you to reveal yourself to someone struggling tonight. She desperately needs to see even now when her world seems to be crumbling around her, You have a plan for her life far beyond what human setbacks she may face. Father, I ask for your comforting arms to embrace her, encourage her, and reveal to her what seems like a step back may actually be a pivotal leap forward in her fulfillment of your expectations for her life. Watch over her, Lord! 

Father God, I trust in your compassion, love, and wisdom. But, for many, it is so difficult not knowing your plans. It seems when we face battles, we can hardly see how they are for our benefit. I know you aren't guiding our lives as a puppet master, but I think for those who struggle to trust in the big reveal even if they can't see it can be discouraged easily and could lose sight of you. I pray you work within me and use me to help reveal to others what I see without seeing. I trust in you even now when I may not see you.

I love you.

Source: http://gotleeks.wordpress.com/2010/07/05/living-into-the-yes/

Day of Stuff

Running late for work. Kids not getting along. Spilled soup on your shirt. Allergies acting up. Have any of these (or your own examples) gotten you bent out of shape? Have you overreacted in the moment only to realize it's just minor stuff? We all face similar stuff, but in the whole scheme of things, they're pretty harmless aren't they?

In our little day-to-day worlds, I think we fail to look at this stuff as opportunities to bring us closer to God. Running late can certainly be frustrating, but be thankful you weren't the person in the fender bender causing the back up. Instead, pray everyone came out of the accident unharmed. 

The kids aren't getting along, but at least they have siblings with whom to bicker. Be thankful your children are building sibling bonds most worldly negativity cannot penetrate. They will be the first to stand up and defend one another against an onslaught of life's burdens.

Spilled soup on your shirt. A stain stinks, but you are fortunate to not suffer from a lack of basic necessities such as food and clothing. Consider this a reminder not everyone is as fortunate as you and could use a loving hand up.

Allergies acting up causing faucet nose and endless cough should remind you seasonal irritation is just temporary. Be thankful, for the most part, you're in good health. Pray for a friend, loved one, coworker, or stranger who may not have it as good as you. Consider cooking them a meal, sending them a card, or simply sharing a smile.

Our stuff which gets us bent out of shape could be just what we need to bend us closer toward God.

Day 93: Heavenly Father, thank you for reminding me how sweet life is. Thank you for bringing me closer to you and reminding me how fortunate I am even when facing temporary setbacks.

Lord, my patience wanes when faced with what in hindsight seem like petty bumps in the road. I get caught up in the "how is this affecting me negatively," I fail to recognize the benefits of stuff. It can teach me to slow down, to appreciate all the positives, and to lean on you in all things. Thank you for letting me experience all the ups and downs which should all lead me to a closer relationship with you.

Father God, I want to use my own experiences of poor response to teach others how not to behave. However, it seems there are some people who remain in a perpetual state of frustration over what I would consider minor issues. Please place in me wisdom and compassion for those who I may otherwise lose patience because they may feel the same way about me. Please work in my words and my actions to demonstrate that even facing our stuff, we can be close to you and help lead others closer to you.

I love you.

Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/108086459777452501/